Stupid Internet

So my internet was out for much of yesterday, which is why nothing happened yesterday blogwise. Today, however, the internet has returned, so to make up for things, I've got two TMI-ish things which I'm going to cram into one giant TMI post right below here. From HEDONE and K&J.

1. LUST (excessive sexual appetites): Besides your current significant other, for whom do you lust or who have you lusted for in the past? Does your significant other know about your lustful desires?

All sorts of people. I could be here days answering this question. And of course.

2. GLUTTONY (over-indulgence): What food brings out your inner glutton?

Chocolate. That's the easiest one, but there are others. I like good food.

3. GREED (avarice): When it comes to sex, what are you greedy for? When it comes to things, what is it that you want more than you need or deserve?

I'm not sure how to answer the second part of this question because it implies that there's a certain level of sex which one deserves. It also implies that wanting sex is greedy. I like to think of most sexual activity as being something that I give as well as receive. But I suppose I'm a bit orgasm-greedy, and I want more anal than I get. Maybe the second part of the question isn't about sex only, in which case I'm greedy, mildly, for most things that normal people are greedy for: respect, power, love, money, approval. I'd be lying if I said that wasn't true, as, I imagine, would most people. I'm not a saint.

4. SLOTH (idleness/procrastination): Name a task or activity in which you perpetually procrastinate?

I'll get back to this one in a minute after I answer the more interesting questions further down the page.

5. WRATH (anger) is manifested in the individual who spurns love and opts instead for fury.

a. Describe a time that you were very angry?

Let's just say that my life has provided a certain number of events which have made me angry, and I'm happy that I managed to get through most of them without doing much of anything, and in none of them have I been arrested or charged with anything.

b. Have you ever been so angry that you thought about revenge? Did you seek it?

I've sought revenge on my sister for pranks. And I've coldly, calculatingly exacted "justice" for certain things. And I've toyed with the idea of revenge in a more sinister manner for a few things, but never acted on it. Revenge isn't good for the soul. I'm not saying you have to be a Christian, but there's a certain wisdom in, "'Vengeance is mine', sayeth the Lord." "Getting even" rarely results in anything fair.

6. ENVY (jealousy): Who or what do you envy? Why?

I envy plenty of people. Most of the time, it's the constructive envy which doesn't make me want to destroy what others have, but rather to better myself so I too have what they have. Sometimes, I'm ashamed to say, I just want to take things away. That's not healthy, but again, I'm not a saint.

7. PRIDE (vanity) is the love of one’s own excellence, and it is considered the worst of the 7 Deadly Sins.

a. When preparing to meet a lover, what are you most vain about?

Good question. I think it depends on the lover. Sometimes I'm interested in looking my best, sometimes I just want to be clean. Cleanliness isn't really vanity, but maybe I clean up more assiduously before meeting a lover than I ordinarily would.

b. What sexual skill are you overly proud and boastful about?

Probably my ability to orgasm. That doesn't sound like something to boast about, but I talk about it a lot, and maybe I'm boasting.

c. What part of your body are you proud of, boastful about?

Given the number of pictures of my ass and legs on the blog, I'll go with that. I'm not proud of my tits (not that I hate them, but I could do better) and I'm sometimes annoyed by my lack of tone in the belly region.

Bonus: What sin do you think is your greatest virtue? For example, what bad thing makes you more appealing?

Oh, probably lust. Cheap answer, I know, but for the purposes of discussion, I'd say that being lusty is a selling point.

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1. What is the weather like in your city today?

Too hot, too humid. I don't live in a city, but it's still true.

2. Do you like the zoo?

A lot of people say, "I hate seeing animals in cages; I wish they were in the wild." And while that's true, I acknowledge that most animals in zoos have no wild to be in. Zoos perform a valuable function of conservation, and the people who work at zoos are good people who genuinely love animals. I support zoos, but I don't like going to zoos because I don't like seeing animals in cages. It's not the zoo's fault; I'm depressed that zoos need to exist more than anything else. I've been to a few "zoos" where it was more like a wildlife preserve, and I enjoy those more, although it still depresses me that the animals are in need of such things.

3. Do you eat coconut?

All the time. I've never been very good at eating coconut from the shell, but I love coconut. I hate fake coconut flavor, but the real stuff, hell yeah.

4. Have you ever hammered a nail? Are you good at it?

I have, and I am. I've used nail guns too, and I've driven screws and lag bolts. I've never gotten to do a hot rivet, but beyond that, you name a fastener and I've probably used it. Hell, I can weld a bit too. Yeah, I'm bragging about my skillz. Maybe I should go back and change the previous questions. Nah, I'll get to it later.

5. Does your family have a vacation destination that you visit often?

Not really. Sort of. I haven't been in years.

6. How many pillows do you sleep with?

A large number. I have two for my head, and two for body-pillow-type-duty.

7. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?

Moan. Not the good kind either. I hate waking up.

8. Will you send your kids to summer camp?

If they want to do. I did summer camp, although it was day camp mostly. If my kids want to go to camp, I will try to make it possible, and I might encourage them to do something over the summer just because it's good for them. But I'm not going to bundle off my protesting progeny to some camp upstate for the entire summer so I won't have to deal with them.

9. What do you put in your baked potatoes?

Usually butter and salt, unless there are other options. If other options are available, chili, cheese, chives, sour cream, onions, bacon... basically, anything goes.

10. Did you take swimming lessons as a kid?

Yes, at summer camp. I could kind of swim before, but after I went through years of swimming lessons, I was hard-core. Not that I would have been Olympic or anything, but I could do all the things one needed to do to pass the various Red Cross levels. I could have been a lifeguard had I been a bit older and not completely uninterested in dying of skin cancer. But I could do two Olympic pool lengths under water (I still can't believe I could do this one), dive into the shallow end without killing myself, rescue people, tread water with no hands forever, all that crazy jazz. I couldn't do any of it now. I do miss swimming though; I think I'd like gills as a mutation. Yes, I want to be Kevin Costner from Waterworld. Deal with it.

There you have it. I'm not complaining about the internet; my provider is pretty good about uptime. Just an explanation.