TMI Because What Else Is There

No, actually, only kidding: the questions this week were answerable, so I decided to play along in atonement for missing FFF last week. HEDONE steers my course in this, but the actual questions are posted on the TMI blog.

1. How many states have you had sex in? How many countries? Yes, Oral counts! All sex acts– penetrative or not– are sex.

Let's see, I have to tabulate in my head. Fortunately, I haven't physically been in that many states, so it's more a matter of figuring out which states I've been in that I've had sex in. I think I answered this question once before, but my numbers might have gone up (hooray hooray). Possibly as high as 7, perhaps even 8 if fucking in a car as it travels through a state in which we didn't stop counts.

2. What do you think is the sexiest piece of clothing a man/women wears on a daily basis? e.g., bra, jeans, sundress, dress shirt, etc.

That's a tough one because it's hard to choose. I guess, in a woman, panties. I love panties, I really do. But I also love many other things women wear on a daily basis. In a man, if he's wearing a tie and no shirt, I might melt, but that's less of a daily thing. It really depends on the man; some guys wear things which look great on them but would look terrible on someone else, so general is harder. I like a man in a kilt, but that's not daily-wear unless you're in Scotland. I also like tank-top undershirts on some guys; they take their dress shirt off, and underneath is that tank top, and I just want to jump them right there. But only some guys; if a guy has a bit of a gut, I'd steer clear of tight undershirts. I like men naked.

3. Would you date yourself? Why or why not?

Probably not, in my current condition. It'd be entirely too crazy to date myself, given the way I am; one person in a relationship being screwed up is one thing, but both people being equally screwed up is another. If I didn't know myself, or if I were someone else, I might date me for a while, but depending on how far from myself I was, I might not be able to put up with me for long. I mean, the sex would be fantastic, of course, but the drama, always the drama.

That's a hard question to answer, because it presupposes a lot of other questions which haven't been asked, variables that need defining. If I were myself, I wouldn't date myself because it'd be a bit creepy, no matter how much I like myself. If I were someone else, I can't really answer the question because I'd probably want something different in a partner than I do now. It's a conundrum.

4. Which muscle do you work the hardest: brain, heart, mouth?

The brain isn't a muscle. I try to work out my brain as much as I can. My heart gets a workout whether I want it to or not. And I'm talkative, but I don't really work out my mouth, unless you mean in another, more interesting sense, in which case yes please, and then working out some other muscles if you have time.

5. Fill-in the blank: I’m a total priss when it comes to _____ .

Scat. Well, actually, I'm also a total priss when it comes to other people's food; I won't eat off other people's plates or let them eat off of mine. It's a neurosis. I can't explain it.

Bonus: Describe your darkest fantasy.

I won't go into details because of various reasons, but suffice to say that my darkest fantasies are things which I wouldn't ever actually want to experience or do. They often involve things which, in real life, would make my empathy cripple me with guilt; sometimes I feel guilty just thinking about them. But I think dark fantasy can sometimes be healthy; it helps you work out things which otherwise would fester. On the other hand, some things shouldn't arouse people. I include myself in "people." And yet they do. It's not a great situation, really. I'm not talking about things that society thinks are wrong; I'm talking things which, unless your moral compass is totally broken, you should think are wrong, and yet you fantasize about them and find yourself aroused. That happens to me sometimes. It's not an entirely pleasant feeling.