I Get To Choose

Since no one comments on this blog about what they want to hear about, I get to choose. And I'm going to choose James first. It's shorter, and I'm feeling lazy.

James has a crush on this girl in school, and I've been coaching him through it. Not the actions of a woman who wants to have more sex with him, I warrant, but like I said, it's healthier for both of us if he moves on. So over Thanksgiving he finally asked her out, and she said yes. He wanted me to tag along, but I was busy and besides, that seemed a little creepier than I'm willing to be. The Lexi creep-o-meter was rising on that one. Yes, I do have a meter. I have several, actually. If I could get gaydar I'd be all set, but I'm not much good at picking out gay guys, or gals for that matter, probably because the theatre ruins it. I don't know. I'm just not good at it.

Anyway, he went out on a date and they hit it off, which I think is great. About time he was hooking up with some kids his own age. And I'm a little jealous, I won't lie, but only because of the physical stuff. But the physical stuff is the problem, because James still seems pretty attached to me, and that's not something I want to have happen. He needs to get over me. But he seems to think that it's okay for him to be seeing her and banging me at the same time. I had hoped it would work out better than that. And I admit a little bit of frustration that we haven't been able to do the anal thing, which I was looking forward to. But now I don't think I can, because whether or not he thinks this relationship with her is open, I still don't feel comfortable with it.

He's going on another date with her at some point soon, but I'm afraid that unless she puts out pretty quickly, he's going to get bored with her. I know, I'm probably worrying a little too much, and I'm not saying that she should put out right away just to keep him. I do that, but I don't recommend it. But damnit I thought it would be a little easier. No, wait, I didn't at all. I thought it was a bad idea from the get-go, and now I'm depressed because I was right.

Maybe I should cut him off, stop it dead in its tracks. Or maybe I should have him over as soon as I can and make the time to have our little fun evening I've been planning, and then maybe I can cut him off. Or maybe I should go out with both of them, try to smooth things over. Who knows, maybe I should try to seduce her too. Then we could have a threesome and... no, not a good plan. I have a dirty lack of impulse control. I should probably just cut him off, explain to him about all this. Of course, the first time we hooked up I explained, and it didn't do any good.

I think I'm just a little disappointed because I had hoped that James would be more adult about this, get a new girlfriend and then be faithful to her. But he's a young man, and young men are looking for pussy, and if he thinks he can get it from me while he's dating her, then he will. What a drag.

So yeah, I've been choosing the option of having him over again because I think deep down I've known that I wasn't going to be able to. So I think I'm stringing him on. We haven't seen each other face to face in probably two weeks. Maybe it's better that way. I know that after Thanksgiving, it was a lot easier to be busy. I'll talk about that next.