Out of My Comfort Zone

So it's another work story.  Not that I work in such a slutty place or anything, just that it's the only reason I leave the house at the moment.

One of the perks of my job is that I currently work at a theater where they do things other than theatre (notice how pretentious my spelling is?).  So I get to watch dance and concerts and so forth.  This evening, there was a rehearsal for a concert coming up in a few days, which meant that I basically sat around and got paid.  I am totally fine with this.

But one of the musicians was this woman whom I wouldn't normally find attractive at all.  She was a nice-looking woman, but she was definitely too old for me.  Possibly even as old as my mother.  I love my mother, but in women I tend to skew young.  Not always, but even when I lust after someone who's older than I am, it's usually someone who looks younger and isn't much older than I am.  I know, I'm a terrible person, but it's just the way my attractions go.

To keep from having to refer to her as "the musician who is older than I usually find attractive," let's call her Jen (as a side note, I've never gotten into the whole "anonymize people by just using their first initial" thing because I like names rather than letters and also because it's not anonymous enough, so while I do try to pick names which I think fit the person, don't expect them to be close to their actual names; Sveta is not Russian, for example).  Jen has long gray hair, she plays a woodwind, she's curvy in a way which is fairly attractive, and she has these sad, beautiful eyes.  I've seen her smile but her eyes still look like pools of sorrow.  But beautiful sorrow.  And that's what initially made me notice her.  I didn't lust after her because of her eyes, but they were pretty eye-catching.

Anyway, rehearsal is over, she's packing up, and I ask her if I could close up or something along those lines.  Not hurrying her along, but hurrying her along.  It was getting late and I wanted to lock up.  She smiled with those sad eyes and said no thank you, then she looked at me and said something which... let me back up.

I've been feeling pretty lousy lately.  There's been a marked drop off in quantity of posting around here, as you might have noticed, and that's because I've been in a slump.  I'm a depressive.  I get this way.  Eventually I'll probably pull out of it.  But anyway, I've been holding on to sanity by my fingernails some days.

So she looked at me, and said, with these sad eyes and this very nice tone, "You really are a beautiful young woman, you know that?"  We'd spoken previously in the evening, so it wasn't out of the blue, but we certainly hadn't spoken on the subject of my being beautiful.  It hit me like a ton of bricks.  She didn't mean it sexually, she was just saying it to be nice I think, but I really needed to hear that from someone I guess because I practically burst into tears.

She thought she'd said something wrong.  She was apologizing and saying that she didn't mean anything by it and so forth, and I managed to pull myself together and tell her it was okay, that it was very nice of her to say and that I was just having one of those days.  And then we started talking.  Everyone else left and we were still talking.  I don't remember half of the conversation.  It wasn't important.  She was a good listener, but I also learned that she was a lesbian because that all came up in the whole, "Being queer around here is difficult," phase of the conversation.

And then she somehow managed to get me to talk about my medical difficulties and I was breaking down again and I found myself being held by this woman whom I didn't really know.  It was nice.  And then, well, it was so nice that I kissed her.  I don't know if I intended it to be a come-on; I was just overloaded.

She pulled back a little.  "I hope I'm not giving you the wrong idea," she said, and I was kicking myself inwardly because clearly she wasn't at all interested in me and what the fuck was I doing and shame spiral and so forth.  "I don't want to take advantage of you in a fragile situation. I'm sorry if I was out of line complimenting you earlier.  I just... you are a beautiful young woman and it made me happy to look at you, I guess."

Nope.  She was apologizing for leading me on because she thought she was leading me in a direction I didn't want to go.  Oh Jen, you are adorably wrong about that.

"You're not taking advantage of me," I said.

"Oh."  Her eyes were limpid pools.  Seriously, I wish I could share a picture without compromising identities, because they were beautiful sad eyes.  Then she leaned back in and kissed me back.

And things got a bit more heated.  I love women who aren't afraid to kiss me.  I find that plenty of women, even if they're curious, are terrified to kiss another woman.  Jen was not scared of me at all.  "We really shouldn't do this," she said after a moment of increasingly passionate kissing.  "I feel like I'm taking advantage of you."

I also love that she wasn't saying, "We shouldn't do this, it's forbidden."  Porn is so much more boring than real life sometimes.  It clearly wasn't something she was shying away from because she was trying desperately to repress her forbidden urges or some such nonsense.

"I promise, you're not."  This carried some weight because I was unbuttoning her blouse as I said it.  But then I had a bit of clarity.  "But we shouldn't do this here.  Someone might come in and that would be awkward."

We moved off the front of the stage in front of God and everyone to a more secluded location. We didn't go hide in another room because I was pretty sure we were the last people there, but no point in taking chances.  And then I proved just how not-taken-advantage-of I was by slowly undressing her.  Jen's body is different than I'm used to, I have to admit.  Definite signs of aging, and she's not exactly in shape.  But honestly, I didn't care and still don't.  She was definitely not wearing "gonna fuck tonight" underwear: her bra was built for comfort, not speed.  But you know what?  The hell with speed.  Women should be allowed to be comfortable even if they're gonna fuck tonight.

Her skin was very soft, and she smelled of baby powder, which I find incredibly arousing actually.  And her breasts, once I got the bra off, were worth the effort.  Whatever she does to maintain them, it works.  They're large, with a little droop, but the nipples are still perky and very sensitive, as I found when she started moaning softly as I circled one with my tongue.  When I started sucking on it, she arched her back a little and held my hand in hers and squeezed it.

What was she keeping under her skirt?  I had to know.  Turns out her panties were likewise sensible but still cute, plain white cotton (which I also find arousing), not granny panties at all.  And the best part was that the fabric covering her pussy was drenched already.

I didn't waste much time getting those off, spreading her legs, and there was her pussy.  A light fuzz of gray was the only thing giving away that this pussy had probably seen a few miles.  Jen is fairly dark complexioned and the lips were tan, but they were cute little lips and just dripping wet.  I dove in.  I couldn't wait.  She had both of my hands in hers, our fingers knitted together, so I couldn't do anything but use my tongue.  She had very little taste, just the smell of baby powder I already mentioned, a little sweat but not stink, and a hint of the usual vaginal tastes.  And she was responsive.  I ran my tongue up over the slit and lingered a moment on the clit and she spread her legs wider and practically forced her vulva up into my mouth.

She was fun to eat out.  Doing it hands-free, at least to start, was a novelty (which I think I'm going to incorporate into my repertoire with Sveta, although I know my girl will take some fingers to really get going).  And I could look up and see those beautiful sad eyes look down at me while I worked her up until she gasped, "Oh Lexi, I'm so close, please make me cum!"  Like she needed to ask my permission.  She freed my hands and I put my fingers to work, and when that happened she was pulling me up again, pulled off my shirt, pulling me into an embrace with my fingers inside her.

We ground into each other, kissing, embracing, both hungry for skin to skin contact, until finally my fingers hit a sweet spot and she moaned weakly and buried her head in my neck, whispering, "Right there, don't stop!"  Finally after she held me about as close as was possible without somehow merging bodies, she started breathing again, sighed, and relaxed a little, then smiled with those sad eyes and said, "Do you know how long it's been?"

No, I did not, so I got a bit of her life.  It isn't easy being a lesbian in this town.  There's one gay bar for gay guys in the area and if you want anything else you've got to go to the nearest big city, which is hours.  And she's too old for online dating.  So she's very lonely.

We talked and it was my turn to listen and I was happy to do so.  We just held each other, me half-naked, her totally naked, and cuddled and talked.  And then I finally said, "Well, if it's been so long, I can't let it go at just one."

"First I want to see that beautiful body without those bulky clothes on," she said, smiling.  It was a little strange, being in the position of being the junior member of a same-sex duo.  Usually I'm the experienced one.  And who knows, maybe I was more experienced than Jen was in the bedroom, but she was definitely playing the role I usually play in these sorts of relationships.  And I enjoyed that as a novelty too.  I think I may like being the "older sister" more, but it reminded me of Mari, who was always the older sister in our relationship.

I wish to add that my clothes weren't bulky.  I too wasn't wearing "gonna fuck tonight" underwear, or even clothes.  Just my usual work attire.  The shirt was already off, the pants came off too, and then I let her kiss me and take my bra and panties off, then after she'd enjoyed herself with my breasts a little she leaned back and said, "Lexi, you really are beautiful."  It almost made me cry again, but I held it together.  I'm not trying to toot my own horn here; I don't think I'm beautiful most days.  Particularly not now.  But she was enjoying herself.  "Lie back.  I want to taste that cute little flower."

I let her spread my legs and kiss gently up my thighs, teasing her way between until her breath was hot against my cunt.  "I'm probably not going to be able to cum," I told her apologetically.

"I like a challenge," she said, looking up at me with those beautiful sad eyes.  I could keep hitting the thesaurus for synonyms for beautiful and sad, but that's what they were.  And then she slid two fingers deftly into me and started doing something inside me which was very, very pleasant indeed.  After a moment she pulled her fingers out and sucked them into her mouth.  "I'd almost forgotten what a girl your age tastes like," she said with a smile, then slid in again and kept doing whatever she was doing.  I'm no slouch when it comes to pussy manipulation, but she was doing some move I couldn't quite place.  There was "come-hither" motions, but a little twisting as well, and it got me to the point of painful arousal quicker than I expected.

"Am I hurting you?" she asked, looking worried.  I guess I winced or something in between panting for more.

"God, please don't stop," I begged her.  It hurt.  Not going to lie.  But it also felt incredible.  I tried to relax, to put the pain behind the wall of pleasure, and it sort of worked until she started licking my clit and I came, harder than I have in a while, which set off all the savage pains that a softer orgasm usually avoids and snapped me right back out of it.  I got one or two hard waves before I realized I was moaning rather more loudly than I meant to and she was apologizing and wrapping me up in her arms.

After I managed to assure her that it wasn't her fault and that I wasn't dying and was in fact incredibly impressed with her technique, we snuggled again briefly before snuggling turned to kissing turned to my fingers sliding into her again and then I tried my best to match her technique, with some helpful pointers.  She wasn't as turned on to start so we could even discuss a few of the finer points, and you'd better believe I'm going to add some things to my arsenal.  Eventually though I got her worked up again and she made it clear that she was totally ready for me to suck on her clit until it broke off if necessary, so I did that, smelling that baby powder and woman smell which was super arousing, until with my tongue and lips and fingers I managed to get a long, tense moan out of her, then I sped up until she gasped and said, "Oh fuck," in a surprised tone and tightened down on my fingers until I was afraid I'd lose circulation.  "The clit, fuck, the clit," she gasped, and I kept hitting her clit hard, trying to keep her cumming as long as I could, until finally she relaxed and pulled me up into her arms again.

We kissed, and then we realized that we'd probably been going at it for so long that it was no longer just a little late.  So we had to say goodbye.  She gave me her number, "Not to hook up, just in case you need someone to talk to," and then we both left and went our separate ways.  And while I believe she's local, I have no idea if I'll ever see her again.  We were both pretty clear that we weren't looking for this to be a long-term thing.  I think we both just needed it.  Needed sex, needed love, needed to be told we were beautiful, needed to cry, whatever it was.

Sometimes I wish that my mother were open to making love with me.  Most of the time, I'm fine with it, but sometimes I wish.  Maybe that's all this was.  Or maybe not.  I don't know.  I can still see Jen's eyes.  The rest of her was pretty, but her eyes were beautiful.  I wonder if she'll remember me at all.