Tuesday, June 27, 2017

TMI Tuesday

From the archives:

1. At work, what sets you apart from others?

I'm a girl.  It's not that there are no women in my field, but where I work, I'm the only woman in the "department" as it were.  I've been the only woman in plenty of technical theater situations.  Not many gals do set building, and I've done that.  More gals do lighting, but it's still a very masculine field.  I'm doing some sound now too (albeit basic, basic stuff) and that's still a man's world.  Don't get me wrong; I've met plenty of women who do what I do, but where I'm working, it's guys and me.  Some of the best coworkers I've had have been women, and I'm always heartened to meet women who do tech because it's not an easy road.

I no longer work in computers primarily, but that, too, was a very man-heavy occupation.  Salute to my sisters in programming.  Nil carborundum.

2. When it comes to sex appeal, what sets you apart from others?

My easiness?  My red hair?  My height?  I can think of other people who have those attributes and if anything put me to shame.  I don't know.  It seems egotistical to give myself compliments this way.  I can fuck the chrome off a trailer hitch too, but that's not really "sex appeal" as much as it is "sex."

3. What are the big imbalances in your life?

Sleep.  Health.  Money.  My brain chemistry.  I could go on.  My life is one big imbalance.

4. What is it that your family and close friends cannot do that only you can do?

Computer stuff.  I run rings around 'em.  Sveta's not computer-illiterate or anything, but that's my wheelhouse in the family.  Which means I get asked all the dumb questions.  Hooray.

Also, I can stretch my pinkie toes out really wide.  If I had webbed feet, I could make swim fins with my toes.  Doesn't come up much though.

5. Are you flexible enough?

No.  I'm not really that flexible.  Tall people's joints and tendons and so forth, I guess.  I used to be slightly more flexible in my misspent yoot, but even then I was hardly a gymnast.  People assume that because I'm adventurous in bed that I must be lithe, but I'm really quite clumsy when you get down to it, and I can't bend my legs over my head or do splits.  I can't even touch my toes.  I remember once I pulled something being too enthusiastic during an awkward sex position and I had to stop.

Bonus: What was the best news you received in 2016?

Probably my current job.  That's a low bar, because my current job is great but far from ideal.  But 2016 wasn't a great year for me.  2017 isn't shaping up so great either.

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

TMI Which

From the archives:

1. Would you rather have a real-life, actually working light saber or Wolverine’s claws?

Without the healing factor Wolverine has, and without the rest of his adamantium skeleton, the claws seem like a bad idea.  Plus what if in the heat of passion you accidentally extend them?  I'm pretty sure that's actually happened to Wolverine (maybe not in the heat of passion, but didn't he stab Rogue by accident in one of the movies?).  I'll take the light saber, although chances are good I wouldn't use it like a Jedi (lacking the Force makes that pretty dangerous) and would instead use it for mundane but remunerative tasks.  Hell, I could probably rent it out and never have to work again.

2. Would you rather watch all episodes of old time TV show Ultra-man or all episodes of the original Power Rangers?

Oy.  Probably Power Rangers, but I'm making fun of it the whole time.  Neither option seems like a good thing to me.

3. Would you rather do 3 minutes of planks or run a half-mile?

Probably the planks.  3 minutes is doable.  I hate running for exercise with a white hot fiery passion.  My lungs are terrible.  Sprinting, sure, I could do that, but endurance running sucks donkey dicks in hell.

4. Would your rather bite all your significant other’s toenails or shave your head?

I don't have a toe fetish.  I also don't have a toe phobia.  But biting someone else's nails seems like it would be pretty hard.  If she cleaned her toes thoroughly before I had a go and I wasn't being graded on my form, I guess I'd rather do that, even though hair grows back, simply because it seems like it would be less unpleasant.  I know, weird.  If I had to bite them with toe cheese and so forth, I'll shave my head and let the hair grow back.  I might look cute with a shaved head.  I doubt it (I have a lumpy skull) but who knows?  And hair, as I said, grows back.

5. Which can you do better, give oral sex or finger/hand-job?

Oral.  We all know my feelings on handjobs, and while I can fingerblast with the best of them, I'm still overall better at oral, plus oral for me usually involves hands/fingers, so win-win.

6. Do you prefer to be on top or bottom, for missionary style sex?

It's not missionary if I'm on top.  This is a very strange question.  I guess it could be taken to mean, "Do you prefer to be on top or bottom when facing your partner during sex," but that's still a strange question.  I'd prefer bottom in both cases, simply because I like missionary more than I like cowgirl.

Bonus: Have you ever masturbated to your own blog?

Oh God yes.  I used to do it all the time.  Not as much to the current affairs stuff, but the memories, I would get wet writing and then want a release before I even finished.  Which is why I take it as a high compliment when people tell me they jerk off to my writing.  That's what it's for.  I don't claim to be the greatest writer of erotic or otherwise.  I'm just telling stories to get off.

Saturday, June 17, 2017

The Band is Back Together

I had planned all kinds of fun shenanigans for last weekend, but then I got either really bad allergies or some sort of summer flu and didn't feel like doing much of anything.  My sinuses hate me.  Always have, always will.

So I was planning for the following weekend, but then things came up, so it looked like I was going to be completely without fun for what felt like ever.  And I was really jonesing for a fix of something or other, either boy or girl.  Sveta is terrific in the sack, don't get me wrong, but we both enjoy outside interests as well.

Anyway, I didn't think anything was going to happen for another week, and then who did I see at a concert rehearsal than my previous concert fling, who doesn't have a name but needs one so I'll call her Sarah.  Hadn't seen her since before Christmas, when we had a very satisfactory duet (I'm so proud of my musical innuendo, can you tell).  And the group doing the concert had been back without her, so I assumed she had moved on to bigger and better things.

No, just vagaries of timing.  So I saw her, she saw me, and waved and grinned and said nothing.  She was busy.  I got that.  But I was kind of hoping it wouldn't be awkward, and it seemed like it might be.

I wasn't working alone either, so when she poked her head into the booth and saw my coworker there, she said hi to both of us, gave me a look which could have meant any number of things, and then vanished again.  My loins sank.  I don't know any other way to describe it.  I had gotten a little wet in my panties seeing her, I won't lie, particularly since she looked just as cute and fuckalicious as before, but now my pussy gave a sad little sigh and retreated into her den to eat Häagen-Dazs and mope.

But concert rehearsals require even less work than concerts for this group, so I excused myself to get some air while they played the same thing three or four times.  I like my coworker.  He's a nice guy, definitely not interested in me nor I in him.  But I sneak out frequently because sitting there doing nothing gets tedious after a while.

She was in the lobby.  "Hey Sarah, whatcha up to?"

"Oh, nothing much.  Once they start, there's not a lot for me to do during rehearsals."

"Me neither."

Awkward.  It felt incredibly awkward.  No one was around, she didn't look like she wanted to see me.

"Well, I'm going to go out and get some air."

"What the hell, I'll join you."

"Unless..."

"No, air is fine."  She grinned and gave me a look and I really had no idea what was going on.

"Sorry, didn't know who might be listening," she said once we were outside.  "Don't want to get you in trouble."

"Oh."  Oh indeed.  Maybe things were more favorable than they seemed.  "So..."

"Yeah, good to see you again.  I still think about our little fling."  Maybe not.  This sounded like she was letting me down easy, we can still be friends, etc. etc.  That's okay.  I was horny as hell and my pussy was doing flips from the mixed signals I was getting, but okay, I get it.

I had to ask though.  "Any chance you might like a refresher?"

"Actually, I have a boyfriend now.  He's one of the musicians."  Okay, definitely, message received.  No biggie.  I must have said something to that effect because she laughed.  "No, that's not what I meant.  I meant... you know what boyfriends like, right?"

I swear, she is so delightfully innocent and yet thoroughly to the point.  "So you're saying you'd like to wait for him to be finished...?"

"I mean, I really hoped you'd be here.  They said you would.  Because... I haven't asked him yet but I know he'd like a threesome, and I thought you'd be perfect to ask.  If you're okay with that."

"Oh, I'm more than okay with that."  I was too.  "So have you mentioned this to him?"

"He's the one who brought it up.  Well, actually, we were telling deep dark secrets and I told him I'd had a threesome before in college and he said he wished he had.  But I can't ask my friends, you know.  I mean, I know a few of them probably would, but..."

"But?"

"But this is going to sound stupid, but I'm afraid they'd steal him from me.  I'm lucky to have him."  There was that self-loathing again.  I told her she was silly, that she was gorgeous and he was lucky to have her, particularly since she was so willing to have a threesome.

"The first time... well, the only time, was with a guy and his girlfriend and I was the third wheel.  And I think she only said yes because she knew he wasn't going to leave her for me."

"Bullshit.  I bet you could have had him if you wanted him."

She blushed a little.  "You're a bad liar," she said, but she was still blushing and grinning.  "Anyway, um... would it be okay if I asked him?"

You're going to do all the work and I get a free threesome out of it?  No, don't throw me in the briar patch.  I assured her that it was totally a-ok with me.  She gave me a little kiss, just a peck that lingered a bit too long and was really, really sexy.  "If he says yes, can we do it someplace other than here?  Because while I loved fucking in a closet, I think I prefer a bed.  His place isn't that far.  Would you mind?"

"No, that sounds like a good idea."

And she traipsed off, happy as a clam.  Just then, my brain chimed in: "Hey, Lexi, um... you just agreed to a threesome with a guy you've never met.  You don't even know what he looks like."

My pussy, on the other hand, said, "Look, if he's good enough for Sarah, he can't be that bad.  And she's great.  And dick dick dick dick dick..."

"Shut up, both of you," I said to myself.  "I'll meet him.  If he's really bad news, I'll figure out a way to get out of it."

Waiting through the rest of rehearsal was torture.  I kept looking at every guy there, wondering if he was the guy with whom I'd shortly be swapping fluids.  My brain, helpful bitch that she is, pointed out all of the extremely unattractive specimens in evidence.  I tried very hard to ignore her.

In the end, it turned out that he wasn't one of those.  Sarah went up to one of the violinists, who looked a bit older than her, and had a hushed conversation with him.  I could tell exactly what was happening because I saw the shock register on his face, then a big smile and a nod and a kiss.  If anyone else had been looking, they would have seen a swift ass-grab too, but I doubt anyone was paying attention.

She sidled by as I was getting ready to close up, said, "Bye Lexi, see you tomorrow," in a loud voice, then whispered, "Meet me outside when you get finished."  Such subterfuge.

I finished, bid adieu to my coworker in the parking lot, and looked around for her.  She was talking to several other people, so I flew casual, pretended to have a conversation on my phone, and then twiddled my thumbs until she bid them farewell and came over.  "He can't wait," she said, brimming with glee.  "Neither can I.   Can you drive me?  I came in his car and he went back to his place to get things ready."  Things ready?  Wasn't quite sure what to make of that, but whatever.

We drove.  In almost total silence, except for her directions, until she said, "I can't believe we're doing this."

"Why?  Didn't think I'd say yes?"

"No.  I mean, not really."

"Honey, if I told you the things I've said yes to, your hair would curl.  Hell, I had a threesome not too long ago with a husband and wife."  This is true.

"Oh wow, really?"  So we talked about that, with me sparing some details but not many.  She said, "Oh, don't worry, this will be way better than that, I promise."

Once we got there, "getting things ready" turned out to mean pulling the sheets off the bed and pouring several glasses of wine.  I politely sipped mine and we made introductions.  He was Dennis (totally not his name but honestly I can't think of a better one right now), I was Lexi, he was thrilled but couldn't really bring himself to be explicit even though we were definitely going to see each other naked in short order, and Sarah had to translate because she wasn't shy and was willing to say, "So, now that you've met each other, why don't we go to the bedroom and get naked."

He wasn't bad to look at.  Definitely older than her, maybe even by a decade.  That's okay, I don't mind older men, and he was well within his rights to like younger women.  I like them too.  Not a big talker.  Dirty blond hair pulled back in a pony tail, a short beard (which was exciting because I haven't had a beard in a while), kind of nerdy, and honestly he was lucky to have her, not vice versa.  She's dishy, in a curvy way.  He's just normal.

But anyway, once she broke the ice, I was down to fuck, as was she, and to encourage him, once we got to the bedroom, we made out a little.  Which was nice, because in my last outing with Sarah we practically didn't kiss.  She was enthusiastic, eager, willing, and an enjoyable kisser.  "Why don't you girls get naked," he said, with a little lingering shyness but enthusiasm as well.

So we did.  I had not at all been expecting this to happen so my underwear game was lacking.  She, on the other hand, clearly had, because she was wearing just the cutest bra and panty set in maroon, lacy and alluring, cut to show off her figure.  "She wasn't wearing that the last time I saw her," I joked.

"I figured it wouldn't hurt to show off the goods a little," she said, but she wasn't looking at me.  He was looking at me, she was looking at him, I was looking at her.  It was a circle of... well, it was slightly awkward, actually, because I had the feeling that he was more interested in me than in her, and I really didn't want to screw up their relationship.  I'm a nice person.

"Well it's working on me," I said, trying to shift focus to her.  My bra and panties stayed on, basic black, and I enjoyed getting hers off, starting with her beautiful breasts which were just as full and delightful as last time, then kissing my way down her tummy and pulling down her panties.  She smelled ready.  So very ready.  Sometimes you just get a whiff of very aroused cunt and it drives you wild.  So I gave it a little lick, remembering that she didn't like it rough.  And then another, and pretty soon he was totally forgotten as I worked her into a frenzy.

At some point during this, he got his pants and underwear down and came over, still wearing his polo shirt, which made him look pretty silly, but the cock exposed made up for that.  Very nice, not huge but definitely big enough to be useful.  Of course, no indication as yet of how well he could use it, but I appreciate a nice cock aesthetically.

"So... how are we going to do this?  I mean, I'm a novice."  He really wasn't being a jerk, which I appreciated.  No shame in admitting inexperience.

"Well, Sarah, shall we suck that big cock before we make any hard decisions?" I asked her.

"I think it's only fair if you get naked first, miss prude," she said to me, then pushed me back and Lexi went into subbie space for a moment or two as she systematically removed my underthings and tossed them in the pile, then was about to dive into my pussy before I suggested that maybe we should see to Dennis first.

"Plenty of time for you to eat me out later."

She laughed and let me up, and then he got the rara avis of two girls sucking his cock at once.  Well, really, I sucked his cock and Sarah, after grinning at me, moved down and started sucking his balls.  "He likes that," she said when she came up for air.

He wasn't quiet.  Lots of moans and groans.  His cock was already hard and it got harder in my mouth, and harder still when I got him down my throat.  Sarah pushed me away gently and then demonstrated that she was no slouch in the head-giving department either.  She got him all the way down her throat and looked up at him, then reached up and cupped his balls, so hey, in for a penny.  I ducked under and let her get some cock time while I tickled his balls with my tongue, then, because they didn't smell, started sucked him, first one, then the other, then both.

Then I couldn't help myself and I reached up and stroked the taint (god, I hate that word, but it's all I've got).  He looked down, I looked up and smiled, and he smiled and seemed okay with it, so I did a little manly massage and sucked balls for a few more moments.  For being so shy when we started, once we were into it, he was totally fine, all, "Fuck yes, just like that, suck it," and so forth.

I wasn't sure what the endgame was, but she didn't seem inclined to stop, and when he said, "Oh God, yes, I'm going to cum all over your faces," I popped back up and we smiled up at him while he stroked until cum splashed everywhere.  I mean everywhere.  I was very, very sorry that load had gone on faces rather than somewhere else.  But it was fun to eat cum off each other.

"Give me a minute to catch my breath," he said.  "I'm not going to be satisfied until I fuck both of you.  God, this is amazing.  Lexi, you're so amazing to agree to this."

"No, I'm just happy to be here."  Which was the God's honest truth.  If they had wanted me to come back and have me eat her out for an hour while he watched, that would have been way more than I expected.

"Now I get to taste that pussy properly," Sarah said.  I really wanted to go back to eating her out, but I let myself go back into subbie space for a bit while she lapped away at my nethers.  She was better this time, and while I didn't cum, I enjoyed it a lot.

"Come on up, I need to taste you now," I said after a suitable period.  "Can't get enough.  She tastes amazing, doesn't she Dennis?"

"I love the way she tastes," he said, stroking his cock, which was already getting hard again.  "But it's fun to watch another girl eat her out."

"Unless you want to..."  Hint hint, Dennis, don't leave your girl out of this.

Except I could have phrased that better.  He took me to mean something totally different.  "Can I fuck her first?" he asked the supine Sarah.

"Oh please, fuck her hard.  I couldn't get her to cum, but maybe you can."

"I want to taste her first," he said.  I like a man who likes to eat pussy.  Even when he's not good at it, which Dennis, sadly, wasn't.  Until he looked me in the eye and grinned and then started massaging my asshole.  Okay Dennis, that's a good idea.

"Have you two ever done anal?" I asked Sarah, who was lying beside me suckling at my nipple.

"Why, is he sticking his finger in your ass?"

"Yeah."

"He knows I like that.  Hell, you know I like that."

"He likes it too.  Ooh yeah, a little harder please."

"No shit?"  She looked down at him.  "You weren't just sucking his sack down there, huh?  Well that's good to know."

"Hey now, a guy likes a little stroking, but don't go sticking fingers up there," he said, breaking away from eating but keeping his finger in my asshole.

"I bet if we tried it, you'd like it," she said, grinning.  "Maybe you should just bend over right now."

"Well... okay."  So the power dynamic was interesting.  She was happy to be submissive, but it seemed like she ruled the bedroom when she wanted.

Which is how Sarah and I wound up behind him, discussing the finer points of ass-fingering.  She wasn't shy either, dove in and started licking his asshole, which he definitely enjoyed.  I was content to let her do that, but when it came time for fingers, she was less sure of herself, so I got to be the first.  He flinched away at first, but between our encouragement and some spit, I got a finger in, just up to the first knuckle, barely breaking the surface.

"Wow," he said.  "So that's what it feels like.  It's... a lot."

"Let me try," Sarah said, so I pulled away and let her work her finger in.  She wasn't gentle.  "Just relax," she said, then she worked in until her finger was gone.  He was groaning and cursing and I wasn't sure he was enjoying himself, but she reached down and stroked his balls and then his cock and just kept pressing until he was definitely penetrated.

"I've never even gotten it that far in with a girl," she said, looking pleased with herself.  "How does it feel, babe?"

"Makes me really want to fuck someone," he said, sounding a little uncomfortable.

"What do you think?  Do you think he's earned the right to fuck us?" she asked me.

"I just want to get that cock inside me."

"In your ass?"

"Well, you never said whether you'd done that or not."

"I've done it, but we've never done it.  Have you done it babe?"

"Never," he said, but he sounded hopeful.

"Well, maybe later we'll get to that.  It is a special night after all."  She pulled her finger out of his ass.  "Okay, go ahead, I've got to wash my finger off a little."  She went to find a bar of soap.  "But next time, I'm going for the prostate, babe."

"She's so incredible," he said, rolling over.  "Before I met her, I didn't... I mean, I'd done it, but never anything like this."

"She's a girl who knows what she wants," I said.  "So... what do you want?"

"I want to fuck you."

"Good boy."  We settled on doggy style, and when Sarah returned from her ablutions he was behind me, hands on my hips and fucking away.  No mention of condoms was made.  I suppose I should have mentioned them, but do as I say, not as I do.

Sarah bent and gave me a kiss.  "He's pretty good, isn't he?" she said, giving him a look which was probably encouragement.  "I swear, we go at it like rabbits.  If we lived together, we'd never stop."

"So he's up for the long haul?" I said, or panted, because I was really enjoying myself.  He was good.  A nice variety to his movements, and just the right level of force to get me going.

"Oh god yeah.  Once he gets done with you, you'll be begging for a rest."

Which was excellent news, because I was totally down with being fucked like this for as long as I could.

He got a little more energetic and I felt it was the right time to mention that I was on the pill and he didn't need to worry about pulling out.  "Me too," laughed Sarah.  "God, I love cum inside me.  But I love it on me too, so we do some of both."  At almost the same time she said that, he thrust deep and unloaded and I loved every second.  No orgasm yet, but I was getting so very close.

"Quick, eat it out of me," I said, rolling over once he pulled out and raising my hips a little.  "I'm so close.  I need to cum, please."  I don't normally get so desperate, but I really needed to cum, even though I knew it was going to be painful.  Sarah didn't hesitate, and a few moments later with the cum oozing around and her tongue running over my clit, I came, moaned, and collapsed.

"Shit, I think I broke her," Sarah said, laughing.  "Did you like that?"

"Loved it.  Come here Dennis, let me clean you up."

After that, Sarah was going to get fucked, but I was going to make her good and ready, so I ate pussy and fingered ass like a champ until she came, hard, and then stepped back and let Dennis, who really was up for plenty, take my place and plow her missionary.  He and I hadn't really kissed, so I did that while he was fucking her, then kissed her too.  Basically, I played third wheel the best way I knew how, and I'm pretty good at it when everyone is willing to go with it.  Eventually he got her on top and she rode him, then said, "Hey, sit on his face."  Who was I to argue?

So I got very, very sloppy head.  He wasn't all that great to begin with and being distracted by a hot pussy riding his cock made him less so, but I enjoyed making out with her and urging her on until finally he moaned something into my pussy and then pulled her down and spent inside her.  After which I got to eat the cum out of her.

Then we took a longer breather because while I was assured that he was up for more, we all needed to cool off a bit.  We talked sex.  They weren't kidding: five times a day was normal when they were together, although I venture that it would decrease if they were together more often.  Still, she got herself a good one.  Anal came up again and she told us the story of her first and only anal experience, which she loved but was over too quickly.  He said he was definitely going to make her forget all of that, although he seemed a little intimidated by the prospect.  Nerves about anal.  It's cute but understandable.

And then it seemed only natural to run laughing into the other room to hunt for lube.  She swore she had some, but it was nowhere to be found, so I broke out my bottle (always prepared) and we had a fun time lubing him up and then fake arguing about who got to have him in the ass first.  Or rather, she wanted me to go first and I thought she should get to pop his anal cherry, so to speak.

But in the end, she argued convincingly that, since I had more experience (I had given them this information without going into too many specifics) it would probably be better for him to try me out so I could give him pointers and he wouldn't hurt her.  I really wanted her to be first, but I let myself be talked into it.

Behind me again, and this time he was gingerly maneuvering his cock slightly above the previous position.  I told her to get in there and help him aim a little, and she did, and when he sank into my butt I felt wonderful if a bit guilty.  "God, this is amazing," he said.  Damn right it is.

Once he got the feel for it and I cautioned him that she was still much less used to it, I had her bend over in front of me and started lubing her ass up while he began slowly thrusting.  And if lubing turned into eating her ass and then fingering it until she squealed, well I couldn't help it.  I really am getting more adventurous with salad-tossing.  I didn't really get my tongue in her, but I was licking all over the outside.  She said, "Babe, you're going to be doing this from now on," so I think I just stuck him with eating ass if he wants to put his dick in it, but hey, he should consider himself lucky to be allowed, I guess.

"Okay, enough of me, now fuck her ass," I said.  She assumed the position next to me, grabbed my hand for reassurance, and he gently pressed into her ass without much difficulty, although she was definitely feeling it.

"Fuck me, that's big," she said.  "Okay babe, start slow.  I love it, I do, just let me get used to it."

We wound up with me lying between her legs and playing with her pussy while he fucked her, nice and slow with some encouragement from us.  "I can't decide whether I like your pussy or your ass more," he said.

"You don't have to choose, babe," she gasped.

After a while, he was still going strong and she had cum again and was looking a little dazed.  "You need a rest?" I asked her.

"Yeah, can you take over for a bit?" she said.

"He's coming back to you before he cums," I said.  "I'm not letting his first anal nut be in anyone but you."  She grinned but looked happy to get a breather.

Back in my ass, and I told him I could take a bit more if he wanted, so he worked up steam and I got properly fucked in my ass.  Delightful as always, and he really was quite good with his cock, which more than made up for his lack of quality with his tongue.  And anyway, since there was another tongue there, who was I to complain.  I wasn't cumming again but I got all warm and tingly and spaced out a little, just feeling him thrust in and out.

"Okay, back to her," I said finally.  "Fill up that ass with cum like she wants."  And she, still looking a little dazed, bent over the side of the bed and he fucked her ass, probably harder than he should have but she was just moaning and gasping.  She felt it the next day, I'm sure, but right then, she was off in well-fucked-ass-land.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, just as I was wondering if I was going to have to spell her again, he said, "Oh fuck, here it comes."  And she sighed and got her first anal creampie.  Or, rather, his first anal creampie, since I believe she'd had one the first time.  Whatever.  They're all good.

"And that's it for me," she announced shakily.  "I'm going to go clean up a little."

I joined her, and then Dennis joined us, and we all just sleepily washed up in his tiny shower, enjoyed wet naked bodies but not really doing anything more than touching and looking.  His cock got hard again and I, seeing that Sarah wasn't kidding, got on my knees and sucked it, and when he didn't stop me, sucked some more, then ran my finger over his asshole and kneaded.  No penetration, just a little massage.  That got him nicely hard.  Sarah said, "Okay, I'm spent, but I don't mind if you want another go."

We did.  I was raring to go, actually, and Dennis, though he looked tired, didn't look like he wanted to stop while the getting was good.  Sarah fell asleep next to us on the bed and we had a nice, long, languid fuck, starting missionary, then shifting to me riding him, then down to spooning so I could suck Sarah's breasts, which she sleepily allowed.  Then he whispered, "Let's leave her to sleep; we can go into the other room and fuck a little harder."

Worked for me.  I leaned over the couch and he got behind me and when I didn't tell him to stop, he started fucking me hard, hard enough that I felt it through the haze of sex and fucking, and I came again, short and stabby but satisfying.  And with that, it was like my body had what it wanted and was getting ready to turn the lights out.  I hit a giant wall.  "Are you getting close?" I asked him, which I wouldn't normally do, but I was afraid I was going to fall over.

"Yeah.  Give me another minute and I'll cum."  Obliging.  I liked Dennis.  He seemed like a good guy to fuck.  No idea how he is in normal life, but if she's getting him inside her regularly, I'd say it's probably worth it for now at least.

He hurried up and probably forced it a bit, but he came in short order, and for all that he'd gone so many times before, it was still a nice splash inside me.  And then I almost did fall over.  I had been planning to take off and go home, and it really wasn't that late, but I just couldn't.  "Do you mind if I take a nap?" I said, or slurred because I was really, really sleepy.

"Help yourself.  Not sure the bed is big enough for all of us, so why don't you go in with Sarah and I'll crash here."  Gentlemanly.  That I barely could stand up, let alone walk into the other room, didn't make it any less chivalrous.  But I managed to make it.

Woke up a few hours later feeling groggy but really uncomfortable because the bed really wasn't big enough for even two.  I guess they manage it, but I need space to sleep comfortably in my old age.  So I got up, gave Sarah a kiss which wasn't returned because she was sleeping like a log, and wandered into the other room to put on my clothes.  Dennis was lying naked on the couch, but he opened his eyes when I came in.

"You've got a great girlfriend," I said to him.

"I know.  I mean, I really know."

"Be good to her, okay?  She needs it."

"I'm just afraid she'll get bored with me."

"Honey, that's not likely to happen.  After all, you've got so much more stuff to do now.  And anyway, you are a great fuck and you get it up repeatedly.  I doubt she's going to get bored with that."

"Yeah, I guess."  He didn't seem convinced.

"You're worried that she likes other people too?"

"Yeah.  I mean, no, I know she doesn't cheat on me, but... I figure if we can have threesomes, maybe she'll get what she needs that way."

"Honey, I think you're selling yourself short.  She did this for you.  I know she enjoyed it too, and believe me, so did I, but I think you're pretty darned satisfying."

"What if she wants to fuck you again?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.  Why would she?"

"Because you can make her cum like that."

"So can you."

"I'm trying, but she's never cum like that when I ate her out."

"Practice and communication.  Just ask her to tell you what she wants.  She's pretty good at that."

"Yeah."  He laughed a little.  "Well, if she does want to fuck you, I can understand.  You're amazing."

"Aw shucks."  No, I didn't say that.  I was groggy.  Much less coherent.  I probably blushed and muttered something unintelligible.

"Do you... want a parting gift?"

Was he really offering to fuck again?  Jesus, he really was.  Did I really want to fuck again?  Well, when was I going to get the chance again?

"I'm a little groggy, but if you're hard, I'd hate to leave you like that."  He was hard.  Pretty soon, he was inside me, and when he asked if I would mind if he switched to my ass, I wasn't arguing.  He was a little groggy too, so it wasn't as rough as before, but it was nice, and when he softened without cumming and apologized, I told him it was no big deal.  He said if I just hung around for a few minutes, he'd get hard again for me, but I told him to rest up and give it to Sarah when she woke up.

And then, as dawn was breaking, I headed home, really wishing he'd been able to muster that last creampie.  I wouldn't tell him that, of course, but I was slightly disappointed.  Not in him, just in the situation.  The guy had performed admirably, and if anything, I was just a little annoyed that we'd wasted that first orgasm on our faces.

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

TMI Tuesday

From the archives:

1. Are you “in love” with your significant other or are you simply compatible.
Scientist claim that being “in love” only last within the first six months of a relationship.

Scientists are full of shit.  Show me the peer-reviewed study which defines what "in love" is and then proves this.  Because you can't.

I love Sveta.  More now than when I first met her.  Am I in love with her?  Sure.  Whatever that means.  We're reasonably compatible and we get along well, plus we like being together more than we like being apart.  If that ever changes, I won't have a problem with us going our separate ways, but the thing is, I don't think it's going to change.  I will want other lovers, as will she, but in the end, I enjoy coming home to her, and she me.  And if that's all love is, then I'm fine with that.  If love is more than that, I'm not sure I need more than that.  We're not "settling."  We're not just friends.  What else do I need from a relationship?

2. Do you solve problems with your significant other (s.o.) or are you the real and only problem solver.
A relationship has a stronger bond when both people in the relationship work toward resolving issues whether it be with kids, finances, management of home, etc.

We try.  We're both somewhat unused to being in long-term relationships: she hasn't had any but this one and I went quite a long time between them.  So we do still do our own problem-solving.  But if it's something which will affect both of us, we try to solve the problem together, although usually one solves and one supports.

I suppose it would be nice to get to a point where we're doing that for problems which don't directly affect both of us, but we've got enough problems that we need to divide and conquer sometimes.  There's still support.

3. If you live with your s.o. do you both do chores and have equal amount of chores in the household?
Research shows resentment mounts in couples who have an imbalance in household chore duties.

I'm messy, she isn't.  I cook, she doesn't.  It's not entirely even, but we don't keep score.  If there's ever a situation where we feel like the opposite party isn't pulling their weight, we try to talk about it.

4. Is your relationship meaningful to you for companionship or is it personally fulfilling?
Marriage in the U.S.A. has changed over time from being for survival (home, food), to companionate love during most of the 20th Century, to 1960s to present being about personal fulfillment.

I don't really understand the question.  I mean, we're definitely not in it for survival; survival-wise we'd probably be better off alone, from a strictly practical standpoint.  Companionship?  Sure.  I have no idea what "personal fulfillment" means, but it sounds like psychobabble so fuck it.  We find fulfillment in each other, companionship, dynamite sex, and again, we like being together.  We're happier together than apart.  If that's fulfillment, then I'll take it.  If this means some deeper spiritual mumbojumbo, then no wonder so many marriages end in divorce because that's just ridiculous.

5. In general do people think of you as a “couple” with your s.o. or do they connect with you individually just as much as a connecting with you as a couple. (Do you feel you’ve lost your individuality since being in a serious romantic relationship?)

We're not "out" as a couple to everyone.  We have a few "couple" friends, but I'd say most of our friendships are as individuals, although we are friends as individuals with the same people sometimes.  I don't feel like I've lost my individuality.  I've never gotten the impression that she does.

Bonus: You are invited to a large cocktail party at a fancy country club where you know no one. When you arrive, the room where the party is being held is already half full of people–naked people. How do you react when you enter the room?

Honestly, while you'd probably expect me to yell, "Woohoo!" and dive into the nearest naked pile, I would probably want to know what was up.  Are they all nudists?  I can deal with that, and it might actually make me more able to deal with the rest of it.  Because I would rather pull out my own teeth with a runcible spoon than go to a large cocktail party at a fancy country club where I know no one.  I'm shy, I hate cocktail parties, I hate large parties, and I hate fancy country clubs more and more with each passing day.  I wouldn't fit in at all.  At least if it were a sex party I could fit in that way.

But still, I'd want to know ground rules.  I don't just jump into a strange orgy with no prep.  And as I've showed up clearly not expecting this, that would probably put me off a little.  Orgies shouldn't be surprises unless you know the people involved and they're throwing you a surprise orgy or something.  There's a level of trust I'm not sure I'd have in this situation.

And if Sveta were there, that would add a whole layer.  If it were just me, I might be inclined to stick around to at least figure out what was going on.  If Sveta were there, my first response would be to ask her what she wanted to do, and if, as I suspect, she wanted to book it, book it we would.  She's a crazy girl at times, so maybe she'd want to stay too, and then it would be all about figuring out what was up.  I'm not being given enough information in the question to simply say, "Hey, I'd do BLANK."  Info gathering first, decisions after.

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

TMI Fridge

From the archives:

What’s in your refrigerator (and freezer)?

1. Anything alcoholic? beer, wine, bottle of champagne?

Right now, some very old wine that friends left us and some beer.  We're not big drinkers.  I don't like wine, and Sveta rarely drinks it.  The beer was a gift, and we'll occasionally have some in the fridge for when we feel like a bottle, but that's rare.  I do most of my drinking when other people provide the booze, or hard liquor, which isn't in the fridge (and I don't drink much of that either; I have bottles from years ago in the cabinet).

2. Any guilty pleasures? Anything chocolate? Any ice cream?

Guilty pleasures in the fridge?  Does really old, really bad margarita mix count?  We have some chocolate hummus (it's actually pretty good, but it's more for Sveta than for me), but no ice cream.  We're trying to stay away from ice cream because we can finish off a carton in an evening, and that's not good.

3. Any really old bottles of condiments?

I can't list all of them.  So many.  So, so many.  Some are still okay, some we just haven't gotten around to throwing out.  A few from before we moved, I think.  Oy.  Lots of old salad dressing.

4. Frozen pizza? Other frozen quick dinners?

Shockingly, no.  Frozen pizza is more expensive than getting it from Little Caesars (and I won't hear anyone say anything against Little Caesars, the best pizza $5 can buy) and quick dinners are no match for my ability to whip up a quick meal from parts.  Plus I usually need to eat two or three of the damn things to feel like I've eaten anything at all.  Tiny portions.  No, I'm not a glutton; I usually only eat one meal a day and I like to to feel like I've actually consumed something.  I don't make deep-fried lard.  My meals are fairly healthy and well-balanced.  And better.  And probably cheaper too, when you factor things in.

5. Anything actually rotten or moldy?

There's usually a bag of things which we can't throw in the trash yet because they'll rot in the freezer (vegetable peels and meat packages and so forth), and I believe we have one very small thing of leftovers which has gone off completely and we're both avoiding cleaning.

6. What do you have in your fridge that the rest of us probably don’t?

I have no idea.  Lime pickle?  If I haven't eaten all of it already.  Chutney?  I probably have some esoteric condiment or other than most people don't, but we're fairly pedestrian.  We can't afford to eat many fun things and they usually get bought and made in the same day or so.

Bonus: In the novel Portnoy’s Complaint by Philip Roth, the main character, Alexander Portnoy, masturbates using a liver steak as well as a cored-out apple. Have you ever masturbated with food? What?

Ew.  Liver?  No, kids, that's a good way to get food poisoning.  Can your dick get food poisoning?  Anyway, there are plenty of things which won't give you germs to jerk it with.  As far as me, I've stuck various things in my vagina at various times, carrots and zucchini and the like, but I haven't done that in ages.  Frankly, it's not my fetish and there are better toys.

Bonus, bonus: We’re curious, how many phallic shaped foods are in your refrigerator?

I think we've got carrots in the fridge.  We don't refrigerate bananas.  We do eat sausage, and the last time we bought some it was one of those coils rather than individual links, so there are a few horse-cock-sized sausages in there.  And in the freezer some regular-sized ones.  Please do not masturbate with raw meat.  Or cooked meat for that matter.  Eat the sausage and find something less unpleasant with which to do your business.