Holiday Festivities

Hell, I'm only a month late. What's the world coming to?

So Christmas. Zoe had family entanglements for the actual holiday, which meant that, in a Christmas gift she didn't know she was getting us, Sveta and I got to go to my parents' house for Christmas. My brother was already there, which meant he'd gotten the formalities over with and could concentrate on pleasing Sveta, because she hadn't had a cock in ages. Not that my dad wasn't interested in pleasing Sveta too. But Sveta told him that he was to give his daughter a creampie or she would be very disappointed.

This was all arranged in advance, but when we got there Mike was fucking Mom. Because of course he was. He apologized but said that she'd needed one and Dad was saving it up for his girls. Mom was too busy cumming to apologize too, though she did afterward. We told them that was silly and that was that. As it was, Dad was sitting back and enjoying the view, so we got to help him enjoy it a little with some well-placed hands and lips.

Once Dad got hard enough to go, he cheated on me with Sveta for a while, just to warm up. Dad has the stamina of an ox, even now, and sometimes it's all we can do to get him to cum, so starting off in Sveta and then moving to me seemed like the best way to get Lexi her cream. Mike let me clean off his cock, so I got to taste Mom's pussy vicariously at least.

Then Sveta, having cum (cummed?) nicely thank you, hopped off and I bent over and let Dad have his way with my pussy while she sucked his cock a little. I was cumming when Dad thrust in the first time, which made me gasp and made my orgasm skip a beat, a sensation I always enjoy even if it is hard to achieve. Then he railed me for what felt like half an hour and may have been. I came a bunch of times. He finally flipped me over so we could be face to face while he pumped his cream into me. Delightful.

When I regained situational awareness Mike was eating out Sveta while Mom had decamped to the kitchen to get dinner prepped. I joined her, we chatted, Dad joined us, we all chatted, then dinner was ready and Sveta and Mike had reached a decent stopping point, so we all ate dinner. Then gifts. Nothing particularly of interest to the readers of this blog.

Then we had to go home so Mike sexed his big sister up good and proper, quickly and forcefully in my ass and then into my pussy to finish, which I let him do because he's the baby and he'd bitch and moan if I made him stop to clean off. I don't usually do ass-to-pussy as a rule but I break that rule all the time. Do as I say, kids, not as I do.

We went home and hosed off so when Zoe returned we wouldn't smell like a whorehouse after shore leave. Sveta basically showered and immediately passed out. I prowled around for a while and then did the same.

But wait, there's more. Part II will involve New Years Eve. But I so rarely post anymore that I'm breaking it up a little so you've got something to look forward to.

Oh, P.S. Sheri and Mari both called, we talked, everything is fine with them, they just couldn't get away for a visit this year.

TMI Tuesday - The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

As always, from the TMI Tuesday Blog. This week's is a good one. I bet the other people who answered have some interesting stories to tell, so you should head over there soonest and read them all.

1. What made the best sex partner you’ve ever had so good?

I'm not sure who the best partner I've ever had is. I mean, the easy answer is Sveta, but she's good in certain ways, whereas Dad or Mike or Sheri or Mari are good in other ways. And I've had them enough times that there have been good times and not so good times, so it'd be an average experience rather than one spectacular time. And then there are the spectacular times I've had, but they were possibly missing elements that make my regulars so much fun.

Let me just lay out a few things which make for a good partner and leave it at that.

Attentiveness: I don't mean that it's got to be all about me (though mama likes when it is, not gonna lie). I mean that they're paying attention to what you're doing. It's easy to get lost in the moment and your own pleasure, but a good partner never lets that get carried away. It really works best when both partners are paying attention, obviously. That way everyone gets maximum pleasure.

In people who have one, knowing how to use a cock: it really isn't about size, so much as it's about technique. Yes, sometimes size matters there, and great technique isn't going to make a tiny cock seem huge, but "big cock" isn't on the list of things which make for a good lover for a reason.

Giving good head: receiving head well is also nice, but being able to give oral well makes for a good time, in my book.

Not having the attributes I'll lay out in the next question: so I don't have to repeat myself.

And then there are just intangibles. Love makes for good sex, but it doesn't guarantee it. Novelty, for me, is a big turn-on, and I will excuse some flaws in exchange for novelty. Meeting one of my kinks of the day sometimes makes for gangbusters sex, but it's no guarantee either.

2. What made the worst sex partner you’ve ever had so bad?

Again, I'd be hard-pressed to pick a "worst" just because superlatives with subjective metrics are difficult. I'll just list some things which make for a bad time.

Selfishness: we've all been guilty of this at one time or another, but if it's a pattern, that partner is going to be lousy. This is sort of the opposite of attentiveness, and I know I said I wasn't going to repeat myself, but this one is a big one.

Lying there like a dead fish: I don't require much participation, but I like to feel like you're present in the room with me.

An overinflated sense of their own skill: this is largely guys, I'm afraid, and it's largely having watched a lot of porn and maybe having partners who either liked things I don't or who were too submissive to tell the guy he was doing it all wrong. Don't get me wrong; I can get into plenty of things if I'm expecting them, or if there's communication, but bragging before sex and then being mediocre makes the mediocrity worse.

Smell: This is a big one, and it's not that I want you to be freshly bathed. I have been put off by the scent of arousal from some people, I'm afraid. Too much fragrance of whatever sort can put me off too. I like clean, but there can be some musk. It really is something that sometimes the person can't help and it's just body chemistry. I don't know. I'm sensitive to smells.

Honestly, Kate's ex Roger dinged a lot of warning bells for me, and I should have never gotten into bed with him, but I wanted to be with her. He's probably the worst fuck I've had that I still remember well enough to mention here.

3. Who was the most physically attractive person you ever had sex with?

Sveta. No contest. She's a hotty. I'm not just saying that because she reads this blog. She'll deny this. She's a stone-cold fox and she thinks she's a 7 at best. But then she claims I'm stunning and I think I'm maybe a 3 most days. Self-image is fun, ain't it?  Anyway, while I have fucked some beautiful people, and I think my father and siblings are perfectly attractive, I have no idea how I lucked into Sveta because she's so far out of my league it's not even funny.

4. How was it?

Better every time. Okay, that's a lie. Sometimes it's amazing, sometimes it's incredible, sometimes it's just good, and occasionally we've had times which didn't work for whatever reason, though that's very rare. When it doesn't work it's usually either that one or the other of us is too tired or that we're trying something and it doesn't work. The former is easily fixed by snuggling and falling asleep, and the latter by stopping whatever weird thing we thought was a good idea and just sticking to the tried and true methods.

But no, it's not amazing every time. It can't be. Sometimes we just basically want to snuggle with sex. Sometimes one or the other of us is in need and the partner fulfills that need without really getting much themselves. Sveta claims she owes me about a million orgasms from the times when I wasn't really able to do anything more than pleasure her, but I'm not counting. That's just what you do when you love someone.

5. Who was the least physically attractive person you ever had sex with?

Probably the guy I fucked for money. I told that story somewhere back in the archives, but short version is that I am not cut out to be a prostitute, I didn't enjoy myself, and he was not attractive at all. He didn't smell too bad, if I recall correctly, or it might have been a deal breaker. Not that I was really in any position to break the deal. This is why sex work is work and workers need unions.

6. Why did you do it?

Because I thought it was a good idea at the time. That's the reason why I do a lot of stupid things.

7. How was it?

As I said, lousy.

I've had sex with men who weren't attractive at all, but I'm less picky about guys. Physical looks in men (or male-presenting people, I should say, I guess) might turn me away at the very beginning, but won't ruin my evening if we get over the initial hurdle and clothes are coming off.

I mention all this because it wasn't the fault of the guy in question that I had a bad time. It was that I'm not cut out to be a prostitute. He was, in hindsight, a perfect gentleman. Had there been no money changing hands, we might have gotten along just fine. My memory of his looks may even be unfairly tainted by the unpleasantness of the situation.

And I want to say that it wasn't because I think prostitution is dirty or wrong. I think sex workers are some of the finest people out there. I just can't do what I love for money. It ruins it for me somehow. Also, I was young and foolish. Maybe if I tried it now I'd feel better about it. But it was a me thing, not a sex-work thing.

Bonus: Describe a bad sexual experience you admit was your fault.

Oh, there have been more than a few. It's usually my fault for being selfish, which means that there are probably times when it was terrible for them but they didn't say anything and so I don't know. I've had enough experience that I can usually tell when someone's not having a good time, but if I don't care about them enough to listen... You get the picture.

That's not a funny story. The funny stories are better. I broke a guy's mother's favorite vase one time, being clumsy up against a wall. It was all on me too. Anyway, it kind of ruined the moment because she was dead and it reminded him of her, and even though we did eventually get back into it, I don't think his heart was in it. I came, and he dribbled cum into my mouth after a prolonged period of struggling to stay hard enough to cum. I guess it wasn't funny then, but remembering it makes me laugh inappropriately. I'm lucky it wasn't an urn. Can you imagine being covered by my lover's dead mother's ashes? I mean, that would have definitely ruined the mood for me.

I've farted/queefed at inappropriate moments and then laughed, which has put off some partners. Sex, for me, isn't a big thing, so I do laugh during sex, but for some people it's a much bigger deal and the fart/queef is bad enough, but the laughter is where they draw the line. I mean, it's only natural for farts/queefs to happen, guys. I've farted on guys' cocks before and it hasn't fazed them at all. But being unable to stop from laughing at it is something I've mostly grown out of, which is good because it makes some people upset, apparently. I do remember one guy who laughed right along with me. He was a keeper. I have no idea what ever happened to him, but I hope he found someone nice, because at the time I wasn't interested in anything remotely resembling a relationship with anyone. We had fun and then we parted ways, and I think he would have been happy to see me again, so I hope he found someone better than me and that he and his partner laugh at their bodily noises together in the bedroom.

Last story: I was getting hot and heavy with this girl in college and we adjourned to my room for some alone time, and I was halfway up her snatch when my roomie Gwen came in without knocking, and I said, "Hey Gwen," like it was nothing, and the girl slapped me and left in a huff. I know it was my fault, but I've never been entirely sure what it was that did it. Was it that I left off pleasuring her to greet my roomie, or that my roomie came in without knocking, or that I didn't immediately spring to this girl's aid in hiding from said roomie? Or something else? I'll never know. I used to think about it a lot, and then I forgot all about it, but thinking about times when it was my fault dredged up the memory, so now you have to share it.

Updates

What have I been up to, you may ask.

1) Sveta and I got married. Mostly for tax purposes, we like to say, and I'd be lying if that wasn't part of the calculus. Another part was that if either of us had to go to the hospital (which it turned out was prescient, about which more further down the page) it would be good to be married for the purposes of sorting through that kind of bullshit. And there was definitely an element of, "If we don't do it now, we may not be allowed to do it in future," which as yet has not turned out to be as prescient, but please don't relax on the LGBTQI-rights front.

It didn't really change our relationship, and we didn't want it to, but it was nice. I love her, she loves me, we're married, and it's still strange to say, "my wife," in conversation. Partially because I didn't think it would ever happen, partially because I figured I'd have to get straight-married. Lesbian-married is better because we both got to wear dresses.

The ceremony was nothing exciting. We had a wedding party afterward which didn't immediately degenerate into debauchery because the in-laws were there. Sveta's father was surprisingly supportive. Sveta's mother-in-law looked like she could spit nails. But anyway, the party was nice, just friends and well-wishes, and then some of us had gotten hotel rooms in the same hotel so we did wind up having a bit of a fun time for our wedding night. It's been long enough that I don't know that I can play-by-play it even if I wanted to, but Sveta finally got to fuck the members of the family she'd been missing on her card and when we finished with Sheri, Mari (yes, she came, and yes, she came), and Mike, there was a whole other party with some of our friends who showed us a very nice time as well.

2) My parents are okay. Mike and my sisters are okay. There have been some health things, but nothing major. Mari finally tied the knot with her long-time partner, though there was no corresponding wingding for that. I'm still not sure how much her partner knows about her family. She was very nice at the wedding but didn't show up for any of the more sexual festivities. It's Mari's life. I'm not judging. Much.

3) I had to have my lady parts removed. Well, a lot of them. The pain just got to be too much, and finally I found a doctor who would listen and not think I was making it up, and it turned out that yeah, the uterus and one of the ovaries needed to go. The operation went smoothly, the recovery went smoothly, and aside from some lingering psychological stuff which made me somewhat wary at first, I have been having pain-free orgasms in the quantities to which I used to be accustomed ever since. Of course...

4) Then COVID hit, so until I got my vaccination, Sveta and I were stuck with just each other as partners, which didn't put much strain on the relationship but did make me wish like hell I knew a magic spell to give one or both of us a cock temporarily. We had to stop seeing everyone. Even Zoe, who...

5) Zoe is still a thing in our lives. She has a girlfriend now, but we see her often enough, now that we're all vaccinated. I think she was a little crushed that I married Sveta, but she came to the wedding (this was prior to her getting a girlfriend) and participated in the after-after-party, wherein she got fucked seventeen ways to Sunday by a bunch of hot lesbians, which I think got her over her infatuation with me. Or maybe not, but she hasn't shown any signs of pining over me that I've seen. It's complicated. I wish it weren't.

6) Kate, Liam, and Kevin are also continuing to be seen by us. Let me try that sentence again. We see Kate, Liam, and Kevin as often as we all can spare the time. Kevin came out a few Prides ago, we were all super proud of him, and both he and his brother have found partners outside the home, though it doesn't seem to last. They're young. I won't start worrying just yet.

7) Anything else I'm forgetting? Pop a question in the comments, or email, or write it in fiery letters across the sky above my house.

TMI Tuesday

From the archives:

1. If you and your significant other played “sexual truth or dare” with other couples, would you rather watch your s.o. have sex with someone or would you prefer having sex with someone in front of your s.o.?

At this point, I'd probably take one for the team and let Sveta fuck.  I like watching her, and she'd likely get more out of it than I would, plus I'd get things out of watching.  She's fun to watch.  And if the whole time I was thinking, "You may have her now, but she's going home with me," who's going to know?

2. Would you rather watch your favorite porn with your sibling or read your favorite sexy erotica out loud to your parent(s)?

I've done the former.  As strange as it might be to say, I think I might feel awkward about the latter.  That's odd to think about, having never really considered it before.  So I'd happily watch any porn at all with any/all of my siblings.

Odder still, though I have watched porn with my parents, I'd still rather watch it with my siblings.  My mother's taste in porn isn't bad, but it's pretty vanilla.  My father and I like some of the same things, but neither of them are into the weirder stuff, whereas Sheri or Mike and I can watch strange porn and laugh about it.  Mari would be mostly into girl/girl, which isn't bad, but I like penises in my porn.  Girl/girl stuff just doesn't make me cum, though I like multiple naked women just fine.  I like to see penetration, I guess.  Strapons would probably work, but it's still not the same.  I don't know why.  Just my particular kink, I guess.  Mari also doesn't particularly care about watching lesbian sex per se.  She enjoys naked women.  If there are more than one of them, hey, that's just more than one naked woman.  But she's also the least into porn in general, although maybe Mom is right there with her.

3. To get sexually aroused, would you rather watch girl on girl porn or guy on guy porn?

As a continuation, you'd think that I'd go for guy on guy, but actually I don't find gay porn that arousing.  I mean, being in the room with gay sex is great, but it still doesn't make me cum.  At least with two girls I can ogle two girls.  But while I confess a slight preference for girl on girl, either will work in a pinch.  There are genres of both that I don't get into, but if the guys look good, I'm fine with that too.

4. Would you rather have sex with your boss, in an office conference room or masturbate at home knowing that your neighbor is watching?

My current boss and I would never have sex.  Ever.  He's gay, for one, but even if he was going to throw me a bone, while I like him, I am not at all attracted to him.  In the general question though, even if I would have sex with my boss given the chance, I would probably rather be watched masturbating by a neighbor.  I'm shy, but if I knew what was happening, I could get into the exhibitionism of it.

It's the consequences which really throw this question for a loop though.  Being watched by a neighbor is a bit creepy, and if the neighbor is creepy, I would worry a bit.  But fucking the boss is just never a good idea.  I've done it and the best you can hope for is that the sex is good and then you never see each other again.  And a neighbor talking about having watched you masturbate is embarrassing for them, whereas a boss doesn't have as much blowback, even if you don't assume the sex was entirely consensual.  So I'm sticking with my answer.  I never see my neighbors anyway, and if they watched me spank it and then gave me knowing looks, I'd deal.

5. Based on your current mood, would you rather try out new and kinky sex ideas or have romantic sex?

Romantic.  That is definitely not always true, but at the time of this writing, I just want a nice, sensual session with a trusted partner.  I mean, I get that frequently, but it doesn't mean I don't continue to want it.  And I miss some of my past partners with whom I was quite romantic, so if this is a genie/wish situation, I'd like to spend some time with them.

Bonus: Would you rather have three kids and no money or no kids with three million dollars?

This may sound very strange, but though I have a serious pregnancy fetish, I don't really want to have kids.  I mean, if it were possible I'd have them, I guess, but in the situation described, I wouldn't feel right bringing three children into a world where they would be poor.  Hell, given the way the world is currently going, I don't know that I would bring kids into it even if I were given the millions.  And I could really use the money.  So where do I go to collect the check?

Long Overdue

Okay, so first of all, I'm alive.  And I sorry.  Shit got real and then I couldn't handle it.  I have fun mental health issues which have nothing to do with anything except sudden inability to handle anything, which is why I didn't even bother to say goodbye.  As for why I would have had to say it were I mentally stable...

Thing is, first life got crazy and then crazier, and then... well, batten down the hatches. If you're the type who is squeamish about medical conditions, particularly involving lady parts (guys, we didn't make our vaginas complicated to fuck with your brains; if it were up to me we'd all have simple and foolproof genitals and fucking would be recreational for everyone). you may want to skip the rest.  I'm okay. I'm alive. I'm not back to blogging at the moment.

Turns out that the reason Sheri can't carry a baby to term(my sisters, for those who are newer to the party) is because she has a congenital problem with her ovaries and uterus. Turns out that lady-parts doctors aren't all rocket scientists or even particularly compassionate or caring. She only found this out recently because she switched doctors and her new doc actually took the time to ask her some questions about her conception/miscarriage woes. Yeah, I know, what a strange idea, right?

They did tests, lots of tests, before figuring out what might or might not be wrong, and what they seem to feel now is congenital defects in the uterus.  Before you jump to conclusions, no, this has nothing to do with too shallow a gene pool; my parents aren't related, to the best of anyone's knowledge.  It's a birth defect which can happen to anyone. Foreshadowing.

Sheri was crushed.  There's not much they can do; it doesn't threaten her health but it means getting pregnant is not likely and won't end happily in any case.  Which would explain why she's bare-backed it so many times and suffered no ill consequences. But once she found out, she practically forced Mari (my other sister, again for those who came in late) and me to get tests done.

Mari is fine. Her uterus is pretty as a picture, prettier even because it's just one pretty end of a pretty system on the whole.  She's not sure about kids, but if she ever wanted to have them, they say her chances of carrying to term are excellent.

Which brings us to little old me.

About 2 months before Sheri contacted me about her diagnosis, I had started getting achy really, really easily when having sex.  At first I thought it was just the roughness, deep penetration, what have you, but they happened even when I was being gentle as a lamb and merely petting myself (again, as a lamb).  When they first started I had had a rather exciting day, so I thought maybe I was just bruised.  I'm not as young as I used to be.

But by the time Sheri convinced me to hit a doctor, I was getting achy any time I got even the slightest bit excited, carnally-wise. In other words, my pelvis hurt when I was horny.  And the more aroused I got, the worse the hurt got, to the point where I was basically serving as a living sex doll for any sex partners I had, trying not to get close while trying to get them off.  I had obligations.  I wasn't about to let a little pain stop me.

Fast forward to now.  I'm not blogging because I have something wrong with my insides, likely my ovaries but they're not sure.  It's likely not related to Sheri's issue; it came on quite suddenly and probably isn't congenital.  But it means that arousal equals pain.  Not just penetration, not just actively seeking orgasm, but any sort of arousal.

Which is hell.

I'm not telling this sob story to feel sorry for myself or to get anyone else to feel sorry for me.  I just want everyone to know that I would be cheerfully blogging again except for the fact that even thinking about sex is mildly unpleasant right now.  I'm caught in a Catch-22: arousal hurts (it's not even the sex act that does it) but if I don't get off I get incredibly horny which also hurts, so I have to try to find ways to get off with as little arousal as possible and as infrequently as I can stand, which would be fine except that orgasms hurt like a motherfucker, which means that everything is a giant cluster and there's no fuck involved.

So looking at porn, reading stories, remembering stories, writing stories... it's all really not fun right now.  And if it were just a little suffering, I'd be okay with it, but I don't think I could write quality in my current state.  Even writing this is getting me antsy because of association.

There is hope that they'll be able to do something about it, but it might involve removing various parts of me which make babies happen, and until I'm convinced that that's the only way or they tell me that I wouldn't be able to get pregnant anyway (which is a possibility but hasn't been confirmed) I'm not going down that road.  I'm trying to stay positive.

Again, not a sob story to make you feel sorry for me.  I've found that my favorite thing is just to lube up gently and then have a cock inside me without any thrusting; it feels like sex but it doesn't hurt anywhere near as much (although thinking about it aches a little).  And I've not completely stopped having sex either; sometimes I put up with the pain and scream a little when the O hits.  The pain isn't crippling, it's just not sexy.

So don't feel sorry for me; I'm sorry I can't share with you right now.  As soon as that changes, I'll try to be better about posting.

I love you all.  If you have questions or comments, you can send them my way in whatever way you like.  In lieu of any sympathy for me, get-well-soon cars, etc. I ask that you please find someone you love and make them happy in my honor.  Or make yourself happy in whatever way you see fit.  Love to you all, and I'll see you on the other side of this, because I'm not going without good sex for the rest of my life, even if it means I have to pull every reproductive organ I have out and have nothing but anal, or have them install a new pussy in my abdomen, or something.  I have not yet begun to fight!

Nipples

I had a question, or rather a series of related questions, which just begged answering.

"So I was wondering - speaking as a young girl who became sexually aware and aroused at a relatively early (flat) age, when did you discover your nipples? [W]ere your nipples a playground before your breasts developed? Did they become more sensitive during their development? What's the back story on your front story? What's YOUR take on [nipples]? On yours, and your preferences for others?" - p s

Basically this is an invitation to ruminate on nipples, but I'll try to stay focused.

From a very early age, I knew nipples were for nursing. I think all girls go through a phase of wanting to be mommies, and it seemed natural at the time to try out nursing as well, because after all, that's what they were for, right? I don't remember a lot of this; I'm just putting it together from vague recollections. Anyway, I know that I tried to get Mike, when he was still a baby, to nurse on me, but since I wasn't giving milk it didn't work out well. But there was definite sensation there, and I must have filed that fact away for future reference.

Of course, once I was introduced to sex, I wanted to know all about it, so nipples were a part of the information I wanted to learn. But even when I started masturbating, I didn't do a whole lot of nipple play because I was too focused on the main event, so to speak.

I think the first time I genuinely enjoyed my nipples was with Mari. She had breasts at that point, while I was still pretty flat, and she taught me how to suck on her nipples, then turned around and did it to me. Up to that point I hadn't really experienced nipple play, just some idle stroking and wishing I had breasts. But after that, I was all about getting my nips taken care of. They've never been my biggest erogenous zone, but they are definitely a zone I enjoy.

Mike went through a period of fascination with nipples, and I reaped the whirlwind on that. I've never orgasmed when I could feel it in my breasts; I'm not sure anyone really does, but one hears stories. But having a breast sucked while being penetrated is lots of fun, and until Mike hit his growth spurt he was at just the right height, compared to me, to do that. Dad couldn't really manage it; the best he could do was cup my breasts in his hands and roll the points between thumb and forefinger while his cock was inside me, which I also enjoyed but wasn't quite the same.

I guess my nipples may have become more sensitive as I became older, to a point, but the reverse is also true; I don't think that my nipples are as sensitive as they might have been the first time I really played with them. It might not be physical; the sensations just aren't as novel any more, perhaps.

As far as my take on nipples, I enjoy mine just fine. I like oral love, with a lot of tongue and a bit of suction, rather than pinching or nipping. Not being into pain, I'm obviously not into clips and so forth. But there's more to the breast than just the nipple; I like to be cupped, with my nipples in the center of the palm, with just a bit of pressure, maybe a bit of rocking up and down. I like kisses all over my breasts, and between them as well. Licking is also appreciated. Teasing around the nipple with just the tip of the tongue... well, that might get you a gold star.

I have fairly perky nipples but not ultra-puffy. For the size of my breast, I guess they're about normal. They get hard, but while I might make jokes about cutting glass, that's more hyperbole than fact; I've been with women whose nipples get way harder and pointier than mine. Still, they'll show through shirts. They're pink, just like my cunt, a pink which might not show up on darker skin but which stands out just fine on me. If I'm flushed, they get deeper pink, but only just noticeably, at least I'm told.

As far as nipples on other people, I like nipples that go with the breast. If you've got bigger breasts, you can get away with bigger nipples. A little puffy is okay, but sometimes women have breasts that look like they're the Giza plateau (only without the Sphinx, although I suppose that could be a metaphor for other cat-named things), and that's not my favorite. A clean demarcation between nipple and breast is nice, but not a deal-breaker. And I do like perky nipples, higher on the breast, but that's just me being shallow. It might seem like I'm describing my own nipples, and in a way I am; I'm pretty happy with mine, although I'm jealous of larger breasts and if I were to somehow get larger breasts I'd probably want slightly larger nipples to go with them. But I like tan nipples or brown nipples or basically any nipple that fits in with its breast. It's a difficult thing to describe; the aesthetic of nipples is complex in my mind.

I enjoy playing with other women's nipples a lot, to the point where I'll do things to them that I wouldn't want them to do to me. Only if they want that, of course, but I've done a wee bit of nipple torture with a few people, and I'm always happy to use my teeth gently, which some people seem to enjoy. I will definitely pinch if asked. But that's not just women; I've been with more than a few men who wanted a bit of nipple action, and I am happy, very happy, to give them the same treatment. In my somewhat limited experience men seem to either not be into nipple play or like it fairly rough (understanding, of course, that my definition of rough is lowballing it a lot).

Dad doesn't care about nipples; he'll let me play with his, but it's not his main thing. Mike goes through phases; sometimes he likes a bit of nipple nibbling, other times he doesn't. I'm given to understand that when the kids were young, throughout the period where Mom had us all and after we were weened, she was nipple-play-crazy. Breastfeeding didn't dull her interest in it at all. Mari likes to give and receive, and she's very good at both. Sheri is too rough, but she likes it when I'm rough back. Sveta and I like each other's nipples a lot, although neither of us are nipple-obsessed, and we both like about the same level of attention, so it works out well.

Beyond that, I went through a period of lactation fascination before I realized that it wasn't lactation so much as pregnancy. But I did hope, for a while, that I might be one of those people who lactates all the time. Now I'm not sure what I was thinking; it sounds embarrassing for those poor women, really. But I tried hard to get milk to come out. What can I say; I was young and dumb.

Hopefully that's enough information on nipples, but if not, or if you've got a similarly stimulating question, I can be reached via comments or by email at lexinaughtygirl[AT]gmail.com, which all you humans should be able to handle. If you really can't, I think my profile page has an email link built into it. I like questions, and while I don't like formspring, surely people can make the extra iota of effort and ask in some other way.

Crazy Insomnia Means Updates for You

Yeah, so sleeping on and off for a few hours at at time is fun. Hence, I'm up and no one else is, which is why I can take the time to do crazy things like posting to my blog, answering emails, etc.

First off, and this is the only mention it's going to get, I'd like to thank all 100 of my followers. There, I said it, I'm done.

Now on to the more interesting stuff. Sveta and Ernst showed up yesterday evening, later than I expected but they took a detour to go to a cave apparently. I was a little jealous they hadn't invited me, but it was a spur of the moment type thing; they drove by a sign which said, "Hey, see the cave" or some such, and they decided what the hell, they'd stop and see the damn cave. I'm told it was caverific. I've been in caves before and aside from claustrophobia striking every so often, the bigger ones are beautiful and impressive.

So they were too late for dinner; I made something which didn't turn out well anyway. I think the chicken was bad. It tasted unpleasant. Anyway, who gives a shit about dinner? They showed up and despite the fact that we were all tired and I had to get up the next morning, we quickly adjourned to the playroom for a bit of fun, because we were all horny as hell and didn't care who knew it. I think Ernst was slightly shy at first, being in a new house and all, but once Sveta and I stripped down and started making out, he got over it.

Sveta charitably let me have a crack at Ernst, since she's had him all to herself and she knows I've been pretty low on cock recently. We giggled together while he was taking his pants off, which would unnerve any man I think; two girls giggling together as you take out your cock is not nice. It wasn't intentional; we were just giggly. He didn't need any warming up; I bet he'd been on a hair trigger all day. We're still doing the condom thing; he asked me if I had any because Sveta indicated I would, and I directed him to the stash the family has laid in for emergencies and so forth, since we rarely use them among ourselves. Then I lay back, spread my legs, and Sveta hopped onto my face with a giggle, and I didn't see much of what was going on in my lower extremities, but it felt terrific as Ernst slid into my well-juiced pussy.

After a thrust or two though, it became awkward, and I scolded Sveta away momentarily (and reluctantly, because she was already dripping and tasting so nice I could have just stayed with my face in her snatch all evening) and grabbed a pillow to put under my ass, to move myself up a little so poor Ernst would have an easier time. Then I grabbed a blanket from the couch too and spread it out underneath us, so carpet burns would be kept to a minimum.

Then back at it, and now things moved along like a well-oiled machine. I came just as he was hitting his stride, and a few moments later he pulled out and I felt the jets of semen splashing onto my belly. I just kept eating, working Sveta up, until finally she was on all fours, her hips grinding down onto my face, and she soaked my cheeks and neck as she gasped out a nice long O.

I suppose if we'd been thinking properly she would have been facing back so she could have worked on me, or him, or at least kissed him, but for whatever reason she had to crawl around to lick up the cooling cum from my tummy and ribs, then she lay her head on my hips and sighed and smiled up at me.

I had hoped for more, but at that point we were wiped; it was a suitable introduction, but the first chapter would have to wait. I put them to bed, leaving our clothes on the floor, in the other bed in my room (Sheri's old bed, and boy has that bed seen things it must remember). They snuggled up together and fell almost immediately asleep, the poor tired dears. I wished I could have snuggled in with them, but that would have been a bad idea; I would have kept us all awake tossing and turning. In the end, I retreated to my own lonely bed and tried not to wish Ernst ill. Not too much ill, anyway.

Then Sunday I had work, and I had to get up ass-early, which was okay because I was already up, groggily staggering about. As I was getting ready to leave, Sveta came downstairs totally naked, hair akimbo, rubbing her eyes, and she was so adorable I just about called work and told them to take their job and shove it, because I was going to stay home and make love with this sweet thing until my head exploded. But I nobly restrained myself.

I got back this evening, later than I wanted to, and found them at in in the kitchen of all places. Ernst turned red when I walked in on them; he had her up on the counter, breasts pressed against the wood, feet not touching the floor but wrapped back around him, and he was pumping in and out of her like she was some kind of sexual appliance. I laughed, and when it seemed like he was about to pull out and try to apologize, I said, "Don't you dare; you get in there and give her what she needs or no dinner for you." She giggled, he looked chagrined. I went away and stripped down, then came back just as she was on her knees getting a mouthful of sweet icing, which she kindly shared with me.

They hadn't been fucking all day (I know I probably would have been, but I guess Ernst just isn't quite the sexual powerhouse that I am, not that I'm bitter). They'd fooled around a bit in the morning, but no orgasms, and then spent most of the day hanging out, going for a walk, seeing the sights. I told them mi casa was their casa and they could help themselves to food and beverages whenever they wanted; I brought home supplies for the week but I imagine we'll need to go out at some point and stock up. We may need to buy condoms for the first time in this house in quite a while; the emergency stash might run out (it will if I have my way).

Since I was late and they'd been fucking in the kitchen, we ate a dinner of various odds and ends thrown together, all naked. It was nice; Ernst doesn't seem to have too many hangups about doing things naked. He seems like a decent guy, frankly. Not good enough for Sveta, obviously, but then neither am I, nor is Jesus. Yeah, I said it. If Jesus wants to have sex with Sveta, it's her choice, but I'll think she's slumming a bit.

Sveta mentioned during dinner that she thought a fun thing to try might be a bit of back and forth, so once the prandial (meal-related; I've got to sneak in some vocab words for your SATs somehow) matters were concluded we adjourned once again to the playroom, where Sveta and I assumed the position. In this case, we got on hands and knees side by side, asses in the air, and let him look us over, cock in hand. I like him; he got into the game, made a big show of not being sure who to chose, made us wiggle our asses and try to outdo each other in the temptation department, then he put his hand on my ass and made like he was going to penetrate me, only to shift over at the last second and pop into Sveta instead. We were all being a bit silly, and giggling and teasing was the order of the day.

And boy did he tease. He would fuck one of us just long enough to be appreciated, then shift to the other. And he was the one who suggested, after a while, that maybe it might be even more fun if we were face to face, and he could switch back and forth even quicker. So I lay back and let Sveta lie on top of me, breasts pressed together, arms wrapped around her, and Ernst came up between us and started going back and forth with every thrust, one into her, one into me. We were all teetering on the edge of orgasm, and in the end I was the first one to go, followed by Ernst hopping up, pulling off the condom, and stroking his load, which was substantial, into my mouth, then letting Sveta lick him clean. She was so close too, so I rolled over onto her and started rubbing her with my hands and pressing into her with my pelvis, until she finally gasped and came, her legs wrapped around my back, our lips locked.

After that, Ernst was out of commission for a while, so I just slid down and started working on Sveta's cunt, hearing her moan with the tension, tasting the previous orgasm and another rising in her, until she exploded again, weakly for her, but I kept her riding it as long as I could, which wasn't as long as I wish I could. Still, it was wonderful seeing her writhing in bliss, feeling the liquid on my tongue, smelling her scent. I still can't get enough of her.

She was pretty out of it at that point too, so Ernst and I let her lie back and recover, while I started sucking his cock, just friendly-like, not trying too hard. He lay back and enjoyed it, slowly growing hard again, until finally he seemed ready, and I asked him, "You want to fuck my ass? The lube's right over there."

He didn't need to be told twice. The head of his cock is just as big as I remembered, and it makes a difference in anal; it doesn't feel like a shaft sinking in. There's a moment of tension release when the anal ring slips over the head and onto the shaft. Quite enjoyable. He slid into me easily, then I gave him some pointers on how to please me, and he just ground against me while his fingers reached down and stroked my pussy until I came, softly but in waves, and he started thrusting into my ass as it clamped and relaxed on his cock, which was good for both of us. He unloaded in the condom without pulling out; I don't know that he had enough warming, or maybe he just wanted to stay inside my ass as long as possible.

"She's really good at anal," he said to Sveta, who was watching us and idly playing with herself.

"Yeah, she taught me everything I know," Sveta said with a giggle. It's true too, but how true I don't know that Ernst knows. He didn't ask, so maybe he does know.

We headed upstairs and watched a movie and had snacks, but the two of them were falling asleep during the movie, so in the end they cuddled against me and I watched and cuddled back. Then I put them to bed again and was all ready to go to sleep myself, but couldn't. So here I am. Tomorrow, we have bigger plans since I'll be home; a bigger dinner experience, maybe going out somewhere, definitely some further fun. Sveta and I have already planned to see how many times we can get him to cum; he doesn't know this of course, but we're going to milk him dry. Maybe a group shower. It'll be warm; maybe some outside time. Definitely some drinks and entertainment.

So that's the story so far. I'm not sure I'll provide a play-by-play of every single thing that happens, but who knows, maybe I will. I still don't know if Mike will be bringing a guest; he said he might or might not and he probably won't know until he shows up with her. I'm going to try to talk to him about Ernst and Sveta, and maybe, who knows, Mike's friend will be inclined, and the two couples can have some fun as a foursome. I know Sveta and Mike would like that. I don't know how Ernst would feel. We'll see. If nothing else, Sveta seems perfectly happy to share Ernst with me, and he can't stop me sharing her with him, so I should be getting regular nookie for the week.

Finally, a Day Off

Mondays are the traditional theatre day off, in case anyone was wondering why they couldn't see a Broadway play on Monday. Don't lie to me; you weren't wondering that at all, were you? Anyway, while I don't always get Monday off, during shows I do because it's the way it works out.

So I couldn't sleep, and then woke up ass-early (for a day off) and crawled into bed with Dad and just cuddled with him. I wasn't particularly horny (well, any more than usual) so I just wanted to cuddle a little. I've been missing snuggles rather a lot recently; I haven't had anyone sharing my bed for too long, I guess.

The snuggles were getting more animated than could be maintained with Mom asleep next to us, so we got up and since it was still dawn outside, retreated to my bed, where the snuggles could be as animated as they wanted. It reminded me of some times when that wasn't the case; when Mari and Sheri were both sleeping in the room too, and they were asleep and I was awake, and Mike showed up wanting some late night loving. He and I were night-owls at around the same time for a long time; Mari's always been a morning person, and Sheri was so erratic as a teen that she might be asleep at any given time. Mike and I have both lost some of our ability to stay up all night, but we used to, sometimes. It was as close as we ever came to having to hide sex from the family.

He'd creep in to see if I were still up, and when he saw that I was, he'd slide into bed next to me and start running his hands all over me. We had to keep quiet because Sheri in particular is bitchy when she's awakened before she has to be (or indeed at any time; if you wake her up you get an ugly look at least, but then I shouldn't point fingers because I'm not the best person to wake up either). My bed was on the floor, which meant fewer things to squeak, but we still had to be somewhat gentle because mattresses and box springs and floorboards can still make noise during boisterous sex.

A lot of times, we'd be tired so there wasn't much danger of the sex getting too energetic anyway. We spooned a fair amount, him slipping up between my legs from behind, maybe my top leg wrapped back around him, his hands stroking my breasts or reaching down to diddle my clit. It's not a position that I love, but I certainly don't hate it either, and for slow fucking it's just fine. It can also be maintained for longer, I find. Or sometimes we'd be body to body, him on top of me between my thighs working in and out, our lips locked to keep the moans to a minimum, rolling over to put me on top, but in the same position. Often when spooning, as things got close, we'd roll so he was lying on top of me too, particularly if anal was going on.

Once, I remember, Sheri woke up, despite our attempts to keep things muffled, and glared at us for a moment, then she must have woken up enough to realize what was going on because her expression changed and she crawled out of bed and came over to join us. If I recall correctly, Mari wasn't in the room, either because she was in college at that point or because she was away, so once Sheri was up we were able to make a bit more noise. I just remember that moment of dawning realization on Sheri's face as she went from, "Who the fuck woke me up?" to "Ooh, late night sex!" We were all very tired the next day.

But that's all in the past. Today, Dad and I hopped in my bed, which was still nice and warm, and commenced pleasantly snuggling again, not really talking, both kind of tired but enjoying being together. I was on top of him, and rubbing my crotch up and down his thigh, which was very enjoyable indeed, when I realized that something was jutting into my stomach. It took me a moment to realize it because I hadn't expected it. I don't think Dad realized it either until I grinned and said, "Hey, guess who's hard?"

He was. It was great. I won't say it was the hardest he's ever been, but it was a definite erection, the first real one he's had since the unpleasantness. I quickly shifted positions and slipped him up into me, and enjoyed the hell out of that let me tell you, even though I was rushing it because I really wanted to take advantage of it while it was there. I gave him a wild kiss and rocked back on his cock a few times before it began to deflate abruptly, leaving me feeling sad and empty for a moment, until I saw on his face that he was really upset, so I kissed him again and snuggled into his chest and we just lay there for a while.

It's kind of sick to make jokes about it, but I'm sick and it's a coping mechanism. I feel like I'm toilet training a toddler; I have to act really excited about things which ordinarily wouldn't excite me. I have to say, "Wow Dad, you had a full-on stiffy this morning," and tell Mom like a proud mother myself, so she can say, "Fantastic, sorry I missed it." We're trying to keep his spirits up a little; he's been kind of depressed about the whole situation. I know he knows we're humoring him, so we do it a bit tongue-in-cheek, and he responds tongue-in-cheek too. We're coping. Humor is good.

Anyway, after a while of just lying there, holding each other, he said he was so lucky to have me, and that he certainly owed me something for my trouble, so I got an extra-long, three-orgasm workout from his tongue and fingers before he had to get up and get ready for work. I think he was late today (which is okay, since he's sort of on his own schedule) just for me. It made me feel special. And I'm hopeful that, before too long, we may get to the point where he can last more than a few seconds. He's got to stay positive so the stress doesn't cause additional, psychological problems.

In a way, even though as he's gotten older his ability to get it up multiple times has decreased, he's still a goddamn sex machine. I mean, seriously ladies, my father wears me out sometimes. So it's like suddenly the machine has exploded, and that's hard for him. No one likes to think about it, but there's a chance that even if he does get back to some capacity, it will be greatly reduced. So there's worry there. But hope too.

Non-Sexy Time

Perhaps you're wondering why meaningful updates have gone out the window. Perhaps you're sitting there thinking to yourself, "Jeez Louise, if I had the exciting life that Lexi seems to have, I'd have so many blog posts to make that I'd have to limit myself to three or four a day, just so I'd have the time to fit in some of that excitement. What the hell is wrong with that girl? She should be posting more."

Perhaps not.

Either way, things wax and wane for me as for everyone else, and occasionally there are periods where either nothing is happening worth reporting, or nothing is happening at all, or too much is happening, or too much not worth reporting is happening to give me time to report anything that was worth reporting, or tragical historical pastoral comical. Speak the speech, I pray you, like a dead ox that hath lain too long i' the sun.

Wait, hang on a minute. Get out of here, you Shakespearian thespians! Go on, scat! You're not even saying the lines right!

Okay, there we go. Anyway, at the moment I am hard up for time and for things to talk about, not necessarily in that order. The time can be explained by work, and the things to talk about can be explained in a slightly longer manner, and it's gotten to the point where it needs to be explained because otherwise it just seems like I'm holding back vital information when really I'm not.

I am not getting my regular sex. Or even much irregular. This is due to a condition which can be most accurately described as paternal inability and fraternal unavailability. Accurate, but not helpful. I don't really want to talk about it overly much, but in fairness I must.

My dad had a health issue last month, the culmination of a number of things, which has left him sadly unable to do much by way of erection. We're hopeful that, with treatment and practice, this situation will improve, but at the moment he's out of action, and unfortunately medication is not an option. It's a circulatory thing. Don't ask me; I'm not a doctor. Anyway, just to prove to all the doubters out there, I love him just as much if not more, and should the horrible possibility happen and he never be able to regain his vigor, I wouldn't stop loving him. We have tender moments, and in the spirit of recuperation both Mom and I have engaged in spirited attempts at revivification of the flaccid, but thus far while he's been able to achieve momentary stiffness, of the half-staff nature, nothing which could be maintained. It seems like it's getting better though.

My family's bond doesn't depend on sex, but sex strengthens it I think, so we've been a bit testy at times. Dad feels like he's letting me down, which I try to tell him he's not, but to tell the honest truth (and why not) I really, really miss having him inside me, to the point where I do feel a bit let down, even if I don't blame him for it. I'm not perfect.

This is not me being sob-y at all either; he recovered from his medical complications, and at the moment there's no reason to believe that he won't recover his former mojo. He's not in danger. We're happy to have him here. And it does mean that I've been getting a lot more from him in an odd way; it used to be that once a day would be the limit, but now that it's mostly about me (and I feel selfish about that) I've been getting shorter encounters at an increased rate. I spend a bit of time doing my best to liven him up, but I think the lack of ability is really driving him as nuts as it's driving me; it's hard to go from once a day to nothing at all, and my father is a man who enjoys sex a lot.

So I've been getting plenty of orgasms. Dad is really getting back into eating me out, something which we almost never bothered with much before; he lasts so long typically that I just want to spend as much time as possible being penetrated, without worrying that I won't get mine. I always get mine. Now, he's falling back in love with my taste and smell, or so he says. There have been a few days, lucky days when no one had to be anywhere (something that seems not to happen all that often these days) when Mom would work on his cock while he ate me out until I was gasping for air.

But despite having plenty of orgasms and plenty of what could definitely be called sex, I miss penetration. I'm just a gal who needs to be filled with a cock, often. I think the last time I had a cock was when I visited Sveta in college. Oh lord, and don't get me started on Sveta; Dad is really worried that she'll freak out about this, even though she knows and hasn't freaked out yet. I don't know why she would. But I think Dad's just projecting his anxiety or something.

Anyway, as horrible and selfish as it is of me, I need penetration. I can get by with just orgasms, but at a certain point my brain begins to deteriorate. So right now I'm engaged in an experiment to see if I can deal with months of no penetration. I can do it for anal, and have, but none at all will be tough.

I'm really not telling you all any of this for sympathy purposes; it just has gotten to the point where I really needed to clear up the situation so I'd stop hinting obliquely at it. Dad is fine, I'm fine (if a bit cock-crazier than usual), and I am confident that things will return to, if not normal, at least close enough to pass muster without worrying. These things happen. I know I'm not the only one, and I know people who suffer from various forms of impotence (or whatever the correct term is; like I said, not a doctor) who manage to deal with it. It's life. Just thought you should know.

While I'm giving status updates, to save from having to make another filler post of status:

Mike is working at some menial job he hates and can't get time off from, but it's better than nothing. Last I heard, he was trying to nail a waitress. I had hoped to see him over Easter because that was my closest hope for someone with a cock who knows how to use it, but I'm not hoping much because it doesn't seem likely.

Sveta, on the other hand, will doubtless be here for some kind of spring break, Easter or not. I told her, as a joke, that she should bring Ernst and they could both stay at my house. She laughed. To tell the truth, I'd rather she didn't; despite needing a hot beef injection, I'd rather have some alone time with her. Talking would be nice, as would other things we do when alone.

Sheri is being an idiot. I'm currently in a drawn-out cold war with her. I love her, but sometimes she drives me nuts. I won't go into it; too much drama already in this post. The one positive is that makeup sex is always nice.

Mari is really hoping that more states will pass gay marriage bills, as should we all, but she has a more immediate reason for hoping. She refuses to take sides in the cold war. Thus, I hate her too. No, only kidding. I just treat her like Switzerland and try to get her to give me gold.

The blog is coming up on the anniversary again, and I have something a little exciting planned, nothing major. The banner appears to be coming down 2:1 in favor of the skinnier banner; keep voting, although while I probably shouldn't tell you this I've already made up my mind, unless there's a huge groundswell for one option or the other.

I'm still not doing Formspring, mostly because they won't let you ask the right questions. But I still love questions, and you can always either comment (even off-topic; I'm not a topic-Nazi) or email me at lexinaughtygirly[AT]gmail.com if you've got one. Or if you've got quizzes. Or memes in general. I promise nothing, but I love fodder.

And lastly, I'm coming up on crazy time again at work, so if posts become slightly more scarce, I'm not throwing in the towel, I've just got a show to do. With partial nudity. Hooray!

First Porn

Lola invited a rumination on the first time I saw porn, and since I've got precious little else to write about at the moment, I thought I'd take a crack at it.

Then I thought to myself, "Lexi, can you even remember your first experience with porn?" It was a long time ago, I can say that for sure. My parents had some rules about porn; it was to be watched/consumed in the rumpus room downstairs, it was to be approved by them, and it was to be a special treat, not an all-day-every-day thing. Decent rules all, particularly for kids just starting out. It was kind of like all other TV; we didn't have TVs in our rooms, and we weren't supposed to watch things without Mom and Dad's approval and certainly not if our homework and chores weren't done.

Mari was never much into porn videos; she would watch them with others, but she had a collection of very tasteful erotic pictures that she enjoyed looking at, all naked women. I'm not sure she knew there were scads of lesbian porn available, or she might have been more interested. But anyway, she was more of a reader, and she didn't waste much time with smut or porn of any kind.

Sheri was into porn, but she was into viewing it on the sly. She was the one who had the stash of porn which was more extreme than our parents wanted us watching. I know, that sounds odd, but my parents wanted us to be able to explore sexuality, not watch brutal and demeaning hardcore or various other things. If Mari had asked, I'm sure lesbian porn would have been made available, but we didn't watch really raunchy stuff, groups, any BDSM-type material, or other more difficult subject matter. Not that we didn't know they existed, just that my parents didn't want us watching things like that when we were younger. I'm actually completely in agreement with their decision; sex is one thing, smut is another.

Anyway, Sheri had all the "good stuff" and she'd sometimes let me or Mike look at them with her. But honestly, when I was young, the fairly "vanilla" porn was more than enough for me; I wasn't interested in fake sex anyway. I wanted the real thing. But masturbation sometimes quieted the itch a little, and every so often I'd look at some porn.

Once I lost my virginity, of course, porn was there for when I didn't have someone else with whom to make love, which was more often than I would have liked but less often than the norm, certainly. And I can masturbate without porn, or with things that don't qualify as porn. I shudder to confess that once I came while reading the Bible. Going to Hell and I already knew it, so no need to remind me on that score.

Now, I don't have any rules about porn to keep me in check and I watch too much porn, but then I watch too much TV too (well, not TV but DVDs), so one can hardly blame my upbringing. I'm pretty catholic in my porn tastes (small c, small c) and many different things can get me off, although no porn is anywhere close to an orgasm with another person, even if it's just mutual masturbation. Sometimes, it's just easier. That's not a good thing, really, but when you need an O and the options are write a blog post(which regularly turns my crank, depending on what I'm blogging about, and gives me a much bigger orgasm) and then maybe finish off with some porn (I seldom get off while writing, but once I'm done, the O is bigger) or find porn right away, I'll frequently go for option B because it takes less time or effort.

But the question was, "Lexi, can you even remember your first experience with porn?" The answer is, shockingly, yes. I don't know that I remember it as much as I remember the events; a lot of the time, I have memories that don't bring up my thoughts or feelings at the time, but I do remember the event, like it had been told to me third-person or something. This is one of those, probably because it just isn't that big a deal.

It was after I got the birds and bees talk. At a certain point, I guess my parents decided that it was likely that we'd run into porn at some point, and it was better that we knew about it than stumbling into it. I remember a long spiel about how it wasn't real, how the whole thing was for people to watch, that sex wasn't actually like that, etc. and so on. Then they showed us some women posing, which was sexy but nothing I hadn't seen before. Then they put in a video which was some scene, I don't even remember what, with a couple fucking in a bedroom. I can't even remember whether there was any penetration shown. It revved me up because at that point anything sexual excited me a little, but I could tell it was all fake. Then Mom and Dad said, okay, that was the fake stuff, now who wants to watch the real thing. And they turned off the video and made love while we watched. It wasn't the first time they'd done that, but it was still exciting. It was love, not sex, and it just reinforced the idea that porn was fine and all, but it wasn't much compared with love.

So yeah, I think my porn problems stem from something other than my upbringing. But I tell you what: I'd rather bring my children up watching sex than watching violence. All my friends at school had seen all the latest Hollywood gorefests and had no idea what sex was, whereas I knew what sex was but hadn't seen Bloodbath on Explosion Island II: The Deadening. I'll leave it to the historians to figure out who was right there.

I know my experience in this regard is totally opposite to most people's. I do remember clearly the first time Sheri let me watch her secret porn with her. My parents were out of the house, and Sheri and I sneaked down to the basement and put in a tape she had which was a foursome, two guys, two girls. When they started doing anal and swapping partners, I was so turned on that I grabbed Sheri and kissed her, and the rest of the movie is mostly snippets and sounds in my memory. It was after my first time, but I was still fairly new to the idea of sex, and the images were really novel. It may have been the first time I saw anal sex, though I don't know that that's true; I think my parents may have covered that at some point. It was definitely dirtier than the porn we were allowed to watch.

Afterward, I felt a little dirty for having watched it, but I wanted to see it again. There was something enticing about the forbidden aspect of it. In hindsight, it was really mild porn, and chances are decent that my parents, at that point, might have let us watch something like it if we'd brought it up. But little rebellions are a part of growing up too. I rebelled a little, but nothing compared with Sheri. But we're different people.\

Anyway, that's porn for you. Now I'm going to find some nice porn and get off, hopefully more than once.

You Complete Me

With regard to my last post about things one can say which are sexy as Hell, it was brought to my attention that, "You complete me," is romance movie crap, which is true enough. The problem is, that's the way I feel about someone inside me. I feel completed in a way that fingers or tongue or toys just can't match.

I guess that's why I'm not a lesbian. Hell, it's why Mari "condescends" to make love to a man every so often. She doesn't find men attractive at all, isn't romantically interested in them either, and yet she enjoys a good cock now and then.

I'm not that far on the sexuality spectrum; there are guys who definitely turn my crank to look at, and I can be romantic with a man without feeling like something's off. But I am much more viscerally attracted to women. I don't mentally undress most guys, even guys who, on consideration, I'd find definitely attractive. I'm not that picky about guys. And what it boils down to is that I like to fuck guys because they have cocks. And I love cock.

I don't know what it is about being filled up with a penis, versus something which is exactly the same shape as a penis but isn't one. Really, a dildo can get me off perfectly acceptably, and in the hands of someone skilled, a toy is a far better time for me than a random guy off the street who might or might not be any good at using his penis. Many of them aren't. That's not knocking guys though; a lot of women don't know the first thing about how to get me off either, or how to get a guy off, or how to get themselves off. The state of sexual knowledge in the world is deplorable.

But leaving that aside, despite the fact that I am a devotee of lesbian sex in all its wonderful forms, despite the fact that I'd rather watch a woman strip off her clothes in preparation to join me in bed, despite being so completely okay with having sex with a woman that it's not even funny, a cock inside me completes me in a way that a woman can't. I feel bad about that sometimes. Other times, I'm happy because I don't want to limit my options; I'm happy to make love with both sides of the fence, gender-wise (as well as people sitting on the fence, or people who don't believe there's a fence at all, or anyone else who takes my fancy and is willing to give me a try).

That's a magic I can experience again and again, as opposed to some of the other sex magic I've talked about. The insertion of a cock into my pussy is magical. It completes me.

I remember when it was just a general sensation, the first few years of my sexual life. It was a feeling of completeness, but it just sort of flowed over me, like an orgasm used to before I trained myself to experience it more fully. Then, after a while, after I had more experience, penetration became not one but a series of sensations which all added up to completion. The first touch of the glans to my labia, the spreading apart as the initial penetration begins, the shifting as my muscles accommodate his girth, then the fullness as he bottoms out inside me. It's not a question of size, although some shapes are more conducive to certain sensations than others. And it's not necessarily an all-at-once thing; I've had very satisfying sex where it took quite a long time to get to the last step of the process. Completion doesn't have to mean finality either; there are all sorts of sensations after completion that are equally enjoyable.

So that's one take on completing. It's like a hole that has been filled (it's very like that, really, isn't it?). But on the opposite side of the coin, the idea of completion as an end, there are important things too.

I know some men who believe that it's the height of sexual skill to be able to get a woman off and not cum themselves. They deny themselves completion. Now I'm not saying that getting me off without cumming is bad; I'm pretty easy in that regard too. But if a guy never cums, I feel incomplete. I feel like something is missing. I'm not looking for instant ejaculation, but if the purpose of sex is for the woman to cum and the man not to, then something is very wrong.

I like to think that I made my partner orgasm. Obviously, the completion I enjoy best occurs inside me, but I'm really okay with any sort of completion. It's not the point of sex at all; sex isn't a race to orgasm for either party. Sex is completion, I suppose, physical, mental, spiritual, whatever you want. It's two (or more) people completing one another. But orgasms are part of sex. Not the sole aim, but an enjoyable part.

So if I say, "You complete me," I'm not being overly romantic. I really feel that way. Not always, obviously, although even a quickie with a total stranger can give me that physically-complete feeling. But sex is completion. And if that makes me a character in an albeit-twisted rom-com, I'm just going to have to live with that.

Catching Up With the Joneses

I remember promising, way back when, that I would have some updates on the cast of characters in my crazy little life. That was probably back in November when I was making promises I couldn't possibly keep. Or keeping promises I should never have made in the first place. Or going crazy. One or more of those.

Anyway, even though it's coming up on Christmas and I'll have a bunch of things to say on that score as well, here's the updates on various persons of interest.

Sveta is finally done with finals and home. Since it's an official leave of absence, she can't spend it all at my place, which is too bad. Still, we have high hopes for Christmas frivolity and joyousness. She's about as tuckered out as I am, poor dear; both our brains were tapioca when I brought her home from college, so very little happened worth reporting, which is why I haven't really reported it.

My parents are my parents. Dad's been working pretty hard too, as has Mom, so we've been seeing less of each other this past month or two. But we've got some time off all together, and looking forward to that. I have a sneaking suspicion that they might celebrate a bit more physically with Sveta and I this year; I have hopes of a three-way pileup on Dad, which isn't unprecedented but is certainly rare.

Mari is doing okay, but we never see her. That makes me a bit sad when I think about it. Still, she said she'd call and talk to us on Christmas for an extended period, since we've all got free long distance now. It makes me wish we had a speaker phone so we could all talk at once. I'm hoping she calls when Sveta is here so they can meet, even if only over the phone.

Sheri is still holding down her high-paying job that makes me hate her just a little bit for always wanting to quit. We had a tiff recently, nothing major but some unpleasant things were said and phones were hung up in a huff and so forth. These things happen. I don't mind admitting I'm jealous of her sometimes, but not because I want her to do poorly, more like I wish I were doing better. Ah well.

She's still fucking her boss, and probably has other bits of fun on the side. I sometimes worry a little bit about how profligate she is with her body, but she hasn't had any problems yet, and I'm hardly one to talk. Maybe I'm a bit jealous of all the action she gets, doing all the things I wish I had the balls to do.

Mike has a job. It's not a good job, but it's a job. He's of course not within easy travel of us, because God or karma has apparently dictated that my family will never be able to be together for the holidays again. Still, I harbor a secret hope that he might make the trip down, if only to take advantage of Sveta being here to get some hot teen lovin' while the getting's good.

I can't believe he doesn't have a steady girlfriend in his new digs, but according to him he doesn't have one. He claims not to have such high standards as I have, but I don't think that's true; I think he has lower standards for sex, but higher for relationships. But then he's never been one to get into long-term relationships at all; he's quite similar to Sheri in that way, except she doesn't even go looking for them, whereas his never work out. He claims he can't find a girl who wants anal. I told him he's not looking hard enough.

I've been invited to Kate's New Year's Eve bash again, with instructions to bring Sveta or Mike or anyone else I know who's fun. I was initially rather skeptical because I didn't really want to deal with the jerks who are Kate's friends again, but Kate said she would make it worth my while if I showed up. Not sure what that means, but it's tempting. We'll have to see on that.

Pam is showing. The last time I saw her, she had this adorable Buddha belly that I just wanted to kiss until my lips wore out. Sadly, it was not in a situation where that would have been okay, so I had to contain myself and whisper my desires in her ear, which made her giggle and blush. Still no word on plans for the future with Kirk, but they're not breaking up anyway, and he hasn't fled for the hills from responsibility. Maybe I'll invite them to Kate's party...

Oh, yeah, Gwen keeps making noises about me going to visit her. I haven't had time to think about it, but Sveta is on the way to Gwen, so I could go visit Sveta (and take advantage of her offer of a threesome with her boy toy) and then keep going to Gwen's. Could be fun, if I can ever get the cash and the time.

Uncle Sam is doing fine too, although we don't expect to see him for a while. Indications were made that perhaps we might see him on his way to somewhere else in February. Dunno. Aunt Jenny is not doing well at all; we're worried about her. We were going to visit, but things went south. Maybe when Uncle Sam shows up, we'll all caravan to see Aunt Jenny. I think she'd like to see us, even if she's doing so poorly that she can't really enjoy it.

And that, said the cat, is that. Unless I've forgotten someone, in which case, let me know and I'll include them. These people, by the way, can all be found in the cast list over there on the right if you have no idea what I'm talking about, or you can click on the labels for most of them to catch up if you're so inclined.

Now, all I have left over from my extended period of business is filling everyone in on the brief moments of fun I had at work. But that'll probably have to wait until after Christmas... and then I probably will just keep on waiting until I forget about it completely.

Half of a Very Big Number

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TMI Good vs. Evil

No, it's actually about superheroes. Actually a decent one for me because I live something of a double life as it is.

1. If you could be a super hero or a super villain, which would you be and why?

I am totally not hardcore enough to be a supervillain. I might be able to pull off "antihero," but only a small dose of it. So superhero it is. I like helping people, and while my methods might rub some people the wrong way, heroes don't have to care about that kind of thing.

2. What's your super alias?

Naughty Girl, what else?

3. Name a friend as your sidekick, tell us who they are.

Oh, I'm not having a sidekick, I'm having a team. Mike can be Ass-Master, defender of sodomy rights; his symbol can involve butts in some way or other. Sheri will be The Loose Goose (the retro meaning of loose, not the physical meaning), capable of just about anything (I'm seeing a lot of leather and plumage in her costume, possibly with a retro feel to go in with the name). Mari has to be Lady Lesbos, the way Wonder Woman should have been were it not for the restrictive mores of the comic book genre. And Sveta may be the junior member, but she's no sidekick (plus how do you name a sidekick for "Naughty Girl"). The Squirt, small but deadly, with a cannon between her legs.

This is of course subject to any of them telling me there's no way they're going by those names and changing them. But it's my fantasy. I'm getting a real Incredibles-type vibe, only with more sex. Mom and Dad will undoubtedly need superhero identities too, but I'm too lazy to think of them right now.

4. What's your weakness(es)?

I need constant "recharging." Plus, I'm vulnerable to intolerance. And sometimes I go into a berserk-type rage where I must fuck everything in sight. That might not be a weakness.

5. What's your power(s)?

Orgasmic Shout (I'm usually pretty quiet, but when I get loud, it breaks things), Kama-Sutra-Crush (any position, I can come out on top), Blazing Gaze of Lecherousness (I can strip the clothes off of villains, sometimes the skin), Blinding Nude-Flash (my lily-white skin reflects the rays of sun or moon and concentrates them into a blinding flash), Cute Butt of Cuteness (it'll come in handy), Underwater Breathing (for those underwater sex scenes, plus what better way to convince someone to kiss you than to be down deep and need to share air).

6. Does your costume have a cape? Do you wear a mask?

Okay, do I need to spell this out? No capes! But I'm definitely having a mask. A small, cute one over my eyes, possibly in green. Since for some of my powers to work, I need to be nude or nearly, the mask adds color. I may incorporate a disappearing-reappearing costume or something. Plus, I'll need the mask to protect my identity.

Bonus (optional): Give us some back story on your character: Where did they originate? Do they have a secret lair? Does anyone know their secret identity?

I was born to destiny, raised to be super, and the tragic part of my upbringing is the misunderstanding of the world. I most definitely have a secret lair, where I go with the rest of the team to recharge and plan our next escapade of justice and truth (and sexiness). I pondered having a tragic past, but decided against it. The world is unpleasant enough.

Feeling a definite need to design my costume now. I'm not into cosplay per se, but if I had some of my team here, I would definitely indulge in a little.

A Long Trip (Figuratively and Literally)

In the wake of yesterday's TMI, Jim asked me if I'd talk a bit about Uncle Sam. For those of you who haven't gone back through the archives (a daunting task, I know), Uncle Sam made an appearance early on and hasn't been back since because it's a hell of a trip from his house to ours, or vice-versa. Reading over it now, I'm struck by how crappy my writing was back then. Ah well. I've gotten a bit better at this.

Anyway, Uncle Sam lives in BFE with his wife Derdre (DEER-dree, not DUHR-drah, as some people pronounce it) and Palmer, who is Derdre's uncle or something, although I've never been solid on the familial relationship. Not that Sam and Derdre aren't in love or suited for one another, but Sam is definitely bi, and he's married to Derdre partially so no one thinks twice about him and Palmer being together a lot. Because Palmer is my uncle's gay lover. Pretty much gay, although he's been in my ass a few times.

I love them all. Sam's a joker, a few years older than my dad, and in private he's a goof, but in public he's a pillar of the community. Civic-minded, hard-working, and if his neighbors ever found out what he does behind closed doors, it's likely they wouldn't believe it. But he's in a place where people have different values; no one thinks anything of underage fooling around, many people implicitly condone incest if they don't practice it, or they at least turn a blind eye to it, a man marrying a woman many years his junior is nothing much, but there's no such thing as gays. It's weird. Uncle Sam's not quite as free of some of the trappings of his upbringing as Dad is; he didn't get out of his comfort zone, move away, start a new family. But that doesn't make him a bad man at all. He's a sweetheart, albeit a slightly white trash one.

Derdre is only a year or two older than Mari, which makes her really more like a cousin to us than anything else. Plus, she and Sam have an open marriage, obviously, since he and Palmer spend way more time in the sack than he and she do. Still, they love each other in their own way. And she's discreet about her extra-marital activities for the sake of public opinion. And she's a doll. I love hanging around with her; she's the cool aunt that all kids wish they had, I guess.

I previously said that Uncle Sam and I don't have a history of fucking, and that's true, as far as it goes. By that, I mean we've fucked, but so seldom as to be practically non-historical. I think I've been down to visit them twice since I was of an age to be able to participate, and they've been to visit us maybe four, five times. When I was a kid, we saw them a bit more, but now they blow into town travelling from point A to point B (Uncle Sam travels and really thinks nothing of driving up to see us, but it's not usually feasible). And my family travels seldom. We're not happy travelling.

I haven't seen Derdre in years. We talk on the phone sometimes, and she sends me great gifts (which is good because Uncle Sam can't give gifts to save his life; I've gotten totally ridiculous things from him before he let Derdre do the shopping). I have even less of a history with her; she and Sheri always used to go out and paint the town red, but with me, it's been mostly some mutual masturbation while we were watching Palmer stuff his cock into Uncle Sam's ass. Lucky for Uncle Sam, Derdre is a woman who gets off on watching gay guys go at it.

Sheri and Derdre (I never call her Aunt Derdre; it just seems weird to me) shared a guy in the back of a pickup truck once. I'm sorry I missed that. Mike's sorry it wasn't him. When he was still too young to fuck by parental fiat, Derdre gave him a blowjob. See, cool aunt. And of course, I've seen Dad and Uncle Sam team up on Derdre, because unlike Mom she's definitely okay with anal (which helps, I guess, when you're married to a bi guy). And she and Mari get along really well, to that point that I believe they've seen each other solo when none of the rest of the family were around. I'd fully expect Derdre to be Mari's matron of honor if she ever gets married (here's hoping). It makes me a bit jealous, I don't mind admitting, but it's okay. They're not really sexual, although they have had sex. They just are so close in age and Derdre relates to Mari in a way that I don't think any of the rest of us do. I don't know exactly why. That's just the way of things.

Even though I've had plenty of sex at Uncle Sam's place, most of my memories are of him and Palmer, because in the house, they're not shy. I mean, neither is my family, but both Sam and Palmer are outdoors types, and they have a big plot of land with no risk of being seen, so backyard fucking is definitely the order of the day. I got horribly sunburned once during a marathon session where Dad and Uncle Sam had a few beers and then bet each other than they could get me to cum more times without cumming themselves. Dad won, but only just. I was wiped out. That was the last time I was there, I think. And I suffered for it.

Anyway, up to a certain point, I could say with fair certainty that Palmer's cock was the biggest I'd ever had in the back door. Now I'm not totally sure, but he'd still be in the top five. It's only happened a few times, usually when there isn't anyone else around or Sam is too worn out or busy, but while he's pretty much completely gay, Palmer doesn't seem to have a real problem with fucking any ass, including mine. I have it on authority from Derdre (who I trust) that Palmer prefers men because he likes receiving as well as giving, but when he's giving, he only wants anal and doesn't care whose. And he cums like a firehose when he's had a cock in his own ass. But that's true of most guys.

Uncle Sam's house is a lot of fun, and if it were larger (it's tiny) I would totally consider visiting them by myself for a few weeks. Of course, I have no time for that and no money either, but it would be fun as hell. Maybe some day, I'll get to take Sveta there and introduce her around. She'd enjoy it. Derdre would love her; I've told them about her on the phone when they called last, and Derdre promised to send up something cute.