Holiday Festivities

Hell, I'm only a month late. What's the world coming to?

So Christmas. Zoe had family entanglements for the actual holiday, which meant that, in a Christmas gift she didn't know she was getting us, Sveta and I got to go to my parents' house for Christmas. My brother was already there, which meant he'd gotten the formalities over with and could concentrate on pleasing Sveta, because she hadn't had a cock in ages. Not that my dad wasn't interested in pleasing Sveta too. But Sveta told him that he was to give his daughter a creampie or she would be very disappointed.

This was all arranged in advance, but when we got there Mike was fucking Mom. Because of course he was. He apologized but said that she'd needed one and Dad was saving it up for his girls. Mom was too busy cumming to apologize too, though she did afterward. We told them that was silly and that was that. As it was, Dad was sitting back and enjoying the view, so we got to help him enjoy it a little with some well-placed hands and lips.

Once Dad got hard enough to go, he cheated on me with Sveta for a while, just to warm up. Dad has the stamina of an ox, even now, and sometimes it's all we can do to get him to cum, so starting off in Sveta and then moving to me seemed like the best way to get Lexi her cream. Mike let me clean off his cock, so I got to taste Mom's pussy vicariously at least.

Then Sveta, having cum (cummed?) nicely thank you, hopped off and I bent over and let Dad have his way with my pussy while she sucked his cock a little. I was cumming when Dad thrust in the first time, which made me gasp and made my orgasm skip a beat, a sensation I always enjoy even if it is hard to achieve. Then he railed me for what felt like half an hour and may have been. I came a bunch of times. He finally flipped me over so we could be face to face while he pumped his cream into me. Delightful.

When I regained situational awareness Mike was eating out Sveta while Mom had decamped to the kitchen to get dinner prepped. I joined her, we chatted, Dad joined us, we all chatted, then dinner was ready and Sveta and Mike had reached a decent stopping point, so we all ate dinner. Then gifts. Nothing particularly of interest to the readers of this blog.

Then we had to go home so Mike sexed his big sister up good and proper, quickly and forcefully in my ass and then into my pussy to finish, which I let him do because he's the baby and he'd bitch and moan if I made him stop to clean off. I don't usually do ass-to-pussy as a rule but I break that rule all the time. Do as I say, kids, not as I do.

We went home and hosed off so when Zoe returned we wouldn't smell like a whorehouse after shore leave. Sveta basically showered and immediately passed out. I prowled around for a while and then did the same.

But wait, there's more. Part II will involve New Years Eve. But I so rarely post anymore that I'm breaking it up a little so you've got something to look forward to.

Oh, P.S. Sheri and Mari both called, we talked, everything is fine with them, they just couldn't get away for a visit this year.

TMI Tuesday - The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

As always, from the TMI Tuesday Blog. This week's is a good one. I bet the other people who answered have some interesting stories to tell, so you should head over there soonest and read them all.

1. What made the best sex partner you’ve ever had so good?

I'm not sure who the best partner I've ever had is. I mean, the easy answer is Sveta, but she's good in certain ways, whereas Dad or Mike or Sheri or Mari are good in other ways. And I've had them enough times that there have been good times and not so good times, so it'd be an average experience rather than one spectacular time. And then there are the spectacular times I've had, but they were possibly missing elements that make my regulars so much fun.

Let me just lay out a few things which make for a good partner and leave it at that.

Attentiveness: I don't mean that it's got to be all about me (though mama likes when it is, not gonna lie). I mean that they're paying attention to what you're doing. It's easy to get lost in the moment and your own pleasure, but a good partner never lets that get carried away. It really works best when both partners are paying attention, obviously. That way everyone gets maximum pleasure.

In people who have one, knowing how to use a cock: it really isn't about size, so much as it's about technique. Yes, sometimes size matters there, and great technique isn't going to make a tiny cock seem huge, but "big cock" isn't on the list of things which make for a good lover for a reason.

Giving good head: receiving head well is also nice, but being able to give oral well makes for a good time, in my book.

Not having the attributes I'll lay out in the next question: so I don't have to repeat myself.

And then there are just intangibles. Love makes for good sex, but it doesn't guarantee it. Novelty, for me, is a big turn-on, and I will excuse some flaws in exchange for novelty. Meeting one of my kinks of the day sometimes makes for gangbusters sex, but it's no guarantee either.

2. What made the worst sex partner you’ve ever had so bad?

Again, I'd be hard-pressed to pick a "worst" just because superlatives with subjective metrics are difficult. I'll just list some things which make for a bad time.

Selfishness: we've all been guilty of this at one time or another, but if it's a pattern, that partner is going to be lousy. This is sort of the opposite of attentiveness, and I know I said I wasn't going to repeat myself, but this one is a big one.

Lying there like a dead fish: I don't require much participation, but I like to feel like you're present in the room with me.

An overinflated sense of their own skill: this is largely guys, I'm afraid, and it's largely having watched a lot of porn and maybe having partners who either liked things I don't or who were too submissive to tell the guy he was doing it all wrong. Don't get me wrong; I can get into plenty of things if I'm expecting them, or if there's communication, but bragging before sex and then being mediocre makes the mediocrity worse.

Smell: This is a big one, and it's not that I want you to be freshly bathed. I have been put off by the scent of arousal from some people, I'm afraid. Too much fragrance of whatever sort can put me off too. I like clean, but there can be some musk. It really is something that sometimes the person can't help and it's just body chemistry. I don't know. I'm sensitive to smells.

Honestly, Kate's ex Roger dinged a lot of warning bells for me, and I should have never gotten into bed with him, but I wanted to be with her. He's probably the worst fuck I've had that I still remember well enough to mention here.

3. Who was the most physically attractive person you ever had sex with?

Sveta. No contest. She's a hotty. I'm not just saying that because she reads this blog. She'll deny this. She's a stone-cold fox and she thinks she's a 7 at best. But then she claims I'm stunning and I think I'm maybe a 3 most days. Self-image is fun, ain't it?  Anyway, while I have fucked some beautiful people, and I think my father and siblings are perfectly attractive, I have no idea how I lucked into Sveta because she's so far out of my league it's not even funny.

4. How was it?

Better every time. Okay, that's a lie. Sometimes it's amazing, sometimes it's incredible, sometimes it's just good, and occasionally we've had times which didn't work for whatever reason, though that's very rare. When it doesn't work it's usually either that one or the other of us is too tired or that we're trying something and it doesn't work. The former is easily fixed by snuggling and falling asleep, and the latter by stopping whatever weird thing we thought was a good idea and just sticking to the tried and true methods.

But no, it's not amazing every time. It can't be. Sometimes we just basically want to snuggle with sex. Sometimes one or the other of us is in need and the partner fulfills that need without really getting much themselves. Sveta claims she owes me about a million orgasms from the times when I wasn't really able to do anything more than pleasure her, but I'm not counting. That's just what you do when you love someone.

5. Who was the least physically attractive person you ever had sex with?

Probably the guy I fucked for money. I told that story somewhere back in the archives, but short version is that I am not cut out to be a prostitute, I didn't enjoy myself, and he was not attractive at all. He didn't smell too bad, if I recall correctly, or it might have been a deal breaker. Not that I was really in any position to break the deal. This is why sex work is work and workers need unions.

6. Why did you do it?

Because I thought it was a good idea at the time. That's the reason why I do a lot of stupid things.

7. How was it?

As I said, lousy.

I've had sex with men who weren't attractive at all, but I'm less picky about guys. Physical looks in men (or male-presenting people, I should say, I guess) might turn me away at the very beginning, but won't ruin my evening if we get over the initial hurdle and clothes are coming off.

I mention all this because it wasn't the fault of the guy in question that I had a bad time. It was that I'm not cut out to be a prostitute. He was, in hindsight, a perfect gentleman. Had there been no money changing hands, we might have gotten along just fine. My memory of his looks may even be unfairly tainted by the unpleasantness of the situation.

And I want to say that it wasn't because I think prostitution is dirty or wrong. I think sex workers are some of the finest people out there. I just can't do what I love for money. It ruins it for me somehow. Also, I was young and foolish. Maybe if I tried it now I'd feel better about it. But it was a me thing, not a sex-work thing.

Bonus: Describe a bad sexual experience you admit was your fault.

Oh, there have been more than a few. It's usually my fault for being selfish, which means that there are probably times when it was terrible for them but they didn't say anything and so I don't know. I've had enough experience that I can usually tell when someone's not having a good time, but if I don't care about them enough to listen... You get the picture.

That's not a funny story. The funny stories are better. I broke a guy's mother's favorite vase one time, being clumsy up against a wall. It was all on me too. Anyway, it kind of ruined the moment because she was dead and it reminded him of her, and even though we did eventually get back into it, I don't think his heart was in it. I came, and he dribbled cum into my mouth after a prolonged period of struggling to stay hard enough to cum. I guess it wasn't funny then, but remembering it makes me laugh inappropriately. I'm lucky it wasn't an urn. Can you imagine being covered by my lover's dead mother's ashes? I mean, that would have definitely ruined the mood for me.

I've farted/queefed at inappropriate moments and then laughed, which has put off some partners. Sex, for me, isn't a big thing, so I do laugh during sex, but for some people it's a much bigger deal and the fart/queef is bad enough, but the laughter is where they draw the line. I mean, it's only natural for farts/queefs to happen, guys. I've farted on guys' cocks before and it hasn't fazed them at all. But being unable to stop from laughing at it is something I've mostly grown out of, which is good because it makes some people upset, apparently. I do remember one guy who laughed right along with me. He was a keeper. I have no idea what ever happened to him, but I hope he found someone nice, because at the time I wasn't interested in anything remotely resembling a relationship with anyone. We had fun and then we parted ways, and I think he would have been happy to see me again, so I hope he found someone better than me and that he and his partner laugh at their bodily noises together in the bedroom.

Last story: I was getting hot and heavy with this girl in college and we adjourned to my room for some alone time, and I was halfway up her snatch when my roomie Gwen came in without knocking, and I said, "Hey Gwen," like it was nothing, and the girl slapped me and left in a huff. I know it was my fault, but I've never been entirely sure what it was that did it. Was it that I left off pleasuring her to greet my roomie, or that my roomie came in without knocking, or that I didn't immediately spring to this girl's aid in hiding from said roomie? Or something else? I'll never know. I used to think about it a lot, and then I forgot all about it, but thinking about times when it was my fault dredged up the memory, so now you have to share it.

TMI Tuesday

Were you ever afraid to masturbate?

I'm not sure if "afraid" is the right word, but back when I first started dating someone who shall remain nameless, I thought that he thought that I was pure, virginal as the driven snow, and okay maybe not that but I was nervous about masturbating when I was at his place. I needn't have worried, as it turns out, but it was a bit like starting out living with someone and being afraid to use the bathroom when they're around: yes, we all do it, but we don't have to admit it.

If you had to choose between licking chocolate from your partner’s genitals or taking tequila shots from their navel, which would you choose and why?

The chocolate. I can't really drink anymore for various reasons, but I think my answer would always have been chocolate.

What is a current sexual food fantasy of yours?

It's not a fantasy, but a fun thing about candy cane season is being able to eat Sveta out with mint on my tongue. She gets so flinchy and giggly, it's adorable. I enjoy it when she does it to me, but I can't judge my own adorableness.

What is the craziest food you’ve eaten while fucking?

Craziest? I've eaten plenty of things while fucking. Some people would probably call eating one's morning breakfast cereal while being railed from behind by one's father because he woke up horny and he's got to get off before you're both late for work and school, respectively, pretty crazy, but I maintain that it would be crazy no matter what I was eating.

One time I ate ribs in just panties because I was wearing a very nice dress and I didn't want to get it messy and then I wound up fucking this guy at the picnic with sauce still on my hands, so he wound up with sauce all over his back. Fortunately we were near a creek, so washing up wasn't an issue. And even more fortunately his sister was curious, so I got to have her too. They weren't fucking, but he watched me take his sister downtown repeatedly while eating another rib. At a certain point he got up and pressed into me from behind while I kept my face pressed into his sister's cunt so she wouldn't get weirded out and want to stop.

I guess that was kind of crazy, but also what we were eating was kind of crazy. I was a little pissed that she wouldn't get a chance to taste me because his cum was dripping out of my pussy and it seemed like that might be a bridge too far. I don't think they ever hooked up, but I lost touch with them years and years ago, so who knows, maybe they finally did. They were both out of my league, really, but you'd be surprised what being willing to eat ribs in the alltogether will net you, as far as sexual partners go.

Favorite form of adult pajamas: Kimono, soft pant, romper or Winnie-the-pooh style?

Kimonos are the most fun to see others in. Me, I'm a soft lounge pants/sports bra kind of gal. That's my go-to if I'm going to be slumbering around others with whom I'm not intending to be naked. I might sub a shirt of some kind for the bra if I'm really trying to cover up.

What was your most memorable sexual experience in a car?

Again, superlatives are what you get when you don't ask me real questions. I'll just think of a memorable experience and if I've answered this question or told another story before, you can judge which was better.

I think the first time I gave road head while the guy was driving was pretty memorable, but that was because he came but didn't get soft. I've had a few experiences like that; the guy might not be ready to go again for a bit, but he stays hard after cumming. I think the excitement of the whole thing just throttled him up immensely. I got a nice healthy shot of cum on my tongue, then he drove the rest of the way to his apartment with his cock raging hard and sticking out of his pants, then we adjourned indoors (he did put his monster away before exiting the vehicle, even though it was dark) and he fucked me like he wanted to make sure I couldn't walk the next day. Great sex, absolutely stellar. But not in the car, so I'm not sure if it counts.

The first time I got road head while driving was pretty memorable too. It started out as road fingering, because we were looking for a secluded spot to lose some clothing but had already struck out in two spots, so my panties were somewhere in the back seat and I was so ready to go, and she was extremely persuasive, telling me, "Oh, you'll be able to concentrate on driving, I'm just going to stroke you a little, nothing much." Yeah, when she pulled her fingers out and licked them off, I just wanted to drive off the road right there, but we were on the interstate at that point and I couldn't do much of anything when she grinned and flipped my skirt up so she could get her head between my legs. It wasn't much, really, and I could have stopped her at any time by closing my knees a little, but I was getting so wet and I was younger and stupider. She couldn't get me off that way, just didn't have the angle right, but my God she could keep me close to the brink.

We finally found a parking lot by an abandoned filling station where there were cars going by on the road nearby but we were secluded enough and at that point I needed to cum so bad I was practically grinding my pussy against the car seat. The back seat was cluttered with clothing and body parts, and it was awkward and probably less fun than it would have been had we just found a bed somewhere, but at the same time every time a car went by she would pop up topless and wave and make me pull her back down to me, which increased the exhibition level to the red line.

Needless to say, this was a story about Sheri and me. We shouldn't be allowed to travel together, I guess.

Have you ever had sex when you suspected security cameras might be present but the passion was too hot to stop or care about being caught on video?

Well, I told a story featuring security cameras recently here but I managed to keep the passion to a minimum until we found a place where the cameras couldn't see. I've fucked in places which were probably under surveillance before, but nothing really stands out. I'm sure there's security footage of me doing the nasty because I didn't care. Maybe you've seen it online. If you have, let me know. I'd like to see it so I can try to work out when it happened, the context, etc.

Have you ever had sex knowing full well you were being filmed or pics were being taken?

After I found out that Kate's ex-husband was filming the two of us every time we hooked up, I kept doing it. That counts, I guess. I've also had sex while being filmed or photographed, which is where I've gotten some of the pictures I've shared on this blog.

When it comes to sex, to which do you most relate–being an exhibitionist or a voyeur?

Weirdly for someone who is as okay with having sex in front of people as I am, I'm also a huge voyeur, and I think I might enjoy that more, at least as far as porn is concerned. Watching in person just makes me want to join in. So I don't know. Both? Both is good.

Have you ever sneakily or overtly filmed or taken pics of others having sex? What did you do with the evidence?

I've done it overtly because that's what we were doing. I've never done it covertly that I can recall. That's a little sketchy, even for me. I'll watch others, sure (all the damn time) but recording it seems like crossing a line of consent.

The evidence is currently being housed in a crate next to the Ark of the Covenant.

Hot or not–having sex in front of people?

Extremely hot. Not as hot recently because I'm not feeling good about my body so I'm self-conscious, but it has been extremely hot.

Which part of your body do you think is the most sexy?

Right now, probably my ass. I'm not an ass man, but my ass is probably the nicest thing to have gained a little curve during the Quarantimes.

Which part of your partner’s body do you find the most sexy. What was the time you first saw it like?

This is cliché but Sveta has the most beautiful pussy, it gets swollen with arousal but remains cute and pink and tasty. The first time I saw it I wanted to be the guy who was going to fuck her that day. Lucky for me, I lasted and he didn't, and now I get to see it whenever I want.

Are you a fan of lingerie on yourself? Or on someone else?

I'm a fan of both, although I stretch the definition of lingerie. Lingerie on men I can take or leave, but on women, including yours truly, yes please.

Would you rather listen to a sexy voice telling you what is happening or watch a sex scene on mute?

I like sound. A good sexy voice can get me off, which is odd because I don't care for phone sex, really. But a well-narrated sex scene is probably sexier, on the whole, than a silent but visually pleasing one. I don't know though. I like pictures with my sound.

Tell us about a time you experimented with a fantasy and it did not go according to plan.

One of the first times I tried to drink piss (I don't know if it was the first first) I choked and almost vomited and that turned me off of it for a bit. It wasn't anything about the situation, it just went down the wrong pipe by accident. Definitely not according to plan.

Updates

What have I been up to, you may ask.

1) Sveta and I got married. Mostly for tax purposes, we like to say, and I'd be lying if that wasn't part of the calculus. Another part was that if either of us had to go to the hospital (which it turned out was prescient, about which more further down the page) it would be good to be married for the purposes of sorting through that kind of bullshit. And there was definitely an element of, "If we don't do it now, we may not be allowed to do it in future," which as yet has not turned out to be as prescient, but please don't relax on the LGBTQI-rights front.

It didn't really change our relationship, and we didn't want it to, but it was nice. I love her, she loves me, we're married, and it's still strange to say, "my wife," in conversation. Partially because I didn't think it would ever happen, partially because I figured I'd have to get straight-married. Lesbian-married is better because we both got to wear dresses.

The ceremony was nothing exciting. We had a wedding party afterward which didn't immediately degenerate into debauchery because the in-laws were there. Sveta's father was surprisingly supportive. Sveta's mother-in-law looked like she could spit nails. But anyway, the party was nice, just friends and well-wishes, and then some of us had gotten hotel rooms in the same hotel so we did wind up having a bit of a fun time for our wedding night. It's been long enough that I don't know that I can play-by-play it even if I wanted to, but Sveta finally got to fuck the members of the family she'd been missing on her card and when we finished with Sheri, Mari (yes, she came, and yes, she came), and Mike, there was a whole other party with some of our friends who showed us a very nice time as well.

2) My parents are okay. Mike and my sisters are okay. There have been some health things, but nothing major. Mari finally tied the knot with her long-time partner, though there was no corresponding wingding for that. I'm still not sure how much her partner knows about her family. She was very nice at the wedding but didn't show up for any of the more sexual festivities. It's Mari's life. I'm not judging. Much.

3) I had to have my lady parts removed. Well, a lot of them. The pain just got to be too much, and finally I found a doctor who would listen and not think I was making it up, and it turned out that yeah, the uterus and one of the ovaries needed to go. The operation went smoothly, the recovery went smoothly, and aside from some lingering psychological stuff which made me somewhat wary at first, I have been having pain-free orgasms in the quantities to which I used to be accustomed ever since. Of course...

4) Then COVID hit, so until I got my vaccination, Sveta and I were stuck with just each other as partners, which didn't put much strain on the relationship but did make me wish like hell I knew a magic spell to give one or both of us a cock temporarily. We had to stop seeing everyone. Even Zoe, who...

5) Zoe is still a thing in our lives. She has a girlfriend now, but we see her often enough, now that we're all vaccinated. I think she was a little crushed that I married Sveta, but she came to the wedding (this was prior to her getting a girlfriend) and participated in the after-after-party, wherein she got fucked seventeen ways to Sunday by a bunch of hot lesbians, which I think got her over her infatuation with me. Or maybe not, but she hasn't shown any signs of pining over me that I've seen. It's complicated. I wish it weren't.

6) Kate, Liam, and Kevin are also continuing to be seen by us. Let me try that sentence again. We see Kate, Liam, and Kevin as often as we all can spare the time. Kevin came out a few Prides ago, we were all super proud of him, and both he and his brother have found partners outside the home, though it doesn't seem to last. They're young. I won't start worrying just yet.

7) Anything else I'm forgetting? Pop a question in the comments, or email, or write it in fiery letters across the sky above my house.

TMI Tuesday

From the archives:

1. If you and your significant other played “sexual truth or dare” with other couples, would you rather watch your s.o. have sex with someone or would you prefer having sex with someone in front of your s.o.?

At this point, I'd probably take one for the team and let Sveta fuck.  I like watching her, and she'd likely get more out of it than I would, plus I'd get things out of watching.  She's fun to watch.  And if the whole time I was thinking, "You may have her now, but she's going home with me," who's going to know?

2. Would you rather watch your favorite porn with your sibling or read your favorite sexy erotica out loud to your parent(s)?

I've done the former.  As strange as it might be to say, I think I might feel awkward about the latter.  That's odd to think about, having never really considered it before.  So I'd happily watch any porn at all with any/all of my siblings.

Odder still, though I have watched porn with my parents, I'd still rather watch it with my siblings.  My mother's taste in porn isn't bad, but it's pretty vanilla.  My father and I like some of the same things, but neither of them are into the weirder stuff, whereas Sheri or Mike and I can watch strange porn and laugh about it.  Mari would be mostly into girl/girl, which isn't bad, but I like penises in my porn.  Girl/girl stuff just doesn't make me cum, though I like multiple naked women just fine.  I like to see penetration, I guess.  Strapons would probably work, but it's still not the same.  I don't know why.  Just my particular kink, I guess.  Mari also doesn't particularly care about watching lesbian sex per se.  She enjoys naked women.  If there are more than one of them, hey, that's just more than one naked woman.  But she's also the least into porn in general, although maybe Mom is right there with her.

3. To get sexually aroused, would you rather watch girl on girl porn or guy on guy porn?

As a continuation, you'd think that I'd go for guy on guy, but actually I don't find gay porn that arousing.  I mean, being in the room with gay sex is great, but it still doesn't make me cum.  At least with two girls I can ogle two girls.  But while I confess a slight preference for girl on girl, either will work in a pinch.  There are genres of both that I don't get into, but if the guys look good, I'm fine with that too.

4. Would you rather have sex with your boss, in an office conference room or masturbate at home knowing that your neighbor is watching?

My current boss and I would never have sex.  Ever.  He's gay, for one, but even if he was going to throw me a bone, while I like him, I am not at all attracted to him.  In the general question though, even if I would have sex with my boss given the chance, I would probably rather be watched masturbating by a neighbor.  I'm shy, but if I knew what was happening, I could get into the exhibitionism of it.

It's the consequences which really throw this question for a loop though.  Being watched by a neighbor is a bit creepy, and if the neighbor is creepy, I would worry a bit.  But fucking the boss is just never a good idea.  I've done it and the best you can hope for is that the sex is good and then you never see each other again.  And a neighbor talking about having watched you masturbate is embarrassing for them, whereas a boss doesn't have as much blowback, even if you don't assume the sex was entirely consensual.  So I'm sticking with my answer.  I never see my neighbors anyway, and if they watched me spank it and then gave me knowing looks, I'd deal.

5. Based on your current mood, would you rather try out new and kinky sex ideas or have romantic sex?

Romantic.  That is definitely not always true, but at the time of this writing, I just want a nice, sensual session with a trusted partner.  I mean, I get that frequently, but it doesn't mean I don't continue to want it.  And I miss some of my past partners with whom I was quite romantic, so if this is a genie/wish situation, I'd like to spend some time with them.

Bonus: Would you rather have three kids and no money or no kids with three million dollars?

This may sound very strange, but though I have a serious pregnancy fetish, I don't really want to have kids.  I mean, if it were possible I'd have them, I guess, but in the situation described, I wouldn't feel right bringing three children into a world where they would be poor.  Hell, given the way the world is currently going, I don't know that I would bring kids into it even if I were given the millions.  And I could really use the money.  So where do I go to collect the check?

Bang the Gong, Get It On

Okay, so we covered all the various permutations of threesomes at least cursorily, let's dive into my favorite sorts of action: the group that contains more than three people.

First off, I don't believe that a gangbang is really a gangbang unless it involves more than two guys.  I know, porn would sometimes have us believe that a gangbang is just two guys taking turns, but come on, that's just a MMF threesome with no DP.  I don't call it an orgy if it only involves four people, either.  I've got nothing against things that aren't gangbangs or orgies, but why devalue the terms.

I've told the story of my birthday gangbang, and frankly I've never had anything which was close to that as far as gangbangs were concerned.  After that many guys only concentrating on you, anything else is going to be small potatoes.  So I don't actively seek three-guy gangbangs, even if I'm happy to have three guys to myself.

I could split hairs.  A gangbang, for me, is one where there's one gal who's the center of the action.  I know that in many gangbang situations, there are other women to help out, but someone has to be the star of the show.  Also, a gangbang should, at its best, be somewhat serial in nature.  If there are only three guys, I can take care of all of them at once if necessary.  I'd like my gangbangs to involve too many guys to handle at once.  The traditionalist in me is even satisfied with one at a time in a line.  Sure, DP is great and sucking a cock while being fucked is great, but I can get that out of other things.  Part of the allure of a gangbang, for me, is that I'm being used by the line at the DMV.  I know many people don't feel that way, and that's totally fine.  And again, my opportunities for gangbangs of any kind have been limited.

I have some experience with three guys.  Sheri and I have been able to scrounge up three guys willing to fuck one or the other of us on a few occasions.  But it's not totally fair to the gal who isn't the center of attention, so on at least some of those occasions, it's wound up just being a general melee and that's totally fine.

When I was in high school, I got as close to organizing my own gangbang as I think I ever have.  Team spirit helps.  My high school didn't have a football team, so that cliche is out, but we had a basketball team and they had a JV squad.  I wasn't a cheerleader; the varsity guys got those.  Frankly, I was more in the league of the chess club.  I know, I seem like I should be Miss Popularity, but I wasn't.  Still, at a party I managed to talk four of the JV-est JVs into going to a quiet room and letting me suck their cocks.  Four is too many cocks for me to handle at once with my mouth, particularly if they're not interested in bumping together.

They were kind of drunk, so they weren't too self-conscious about pulling it out in front of their friends, plus I guess you see that kind of thing in the locker room.  But after a few minutes of round robin on the cock sucking, I said, "Hey, there's a bed; why don't one of you fuck me while I keep going with the other three?"  So the biggest man on campus in the group sat down and I pulled off my panties, let him clumsily paw at my ass for a few moments while pushing up my skirt, then sank down onto him.

He was all like, "Bro, she's so fucking wet right now," and they were all like, "Dude, I want to hit that too."  Or some such nonsense.  "Shit, I'm going to go off in a minute," he gasped right as I was just beginning to feel tingles.  So I hopped off, waggled my ass, gave it a smack, and bent over to suck him off, letting them fight over who was next.  The BMOC nutted in my mouth and I was being railed by another one, bigger and thicker, which made me cum, which made him pull out abruptly and pull my head over to take the shot, which pulled me out of my orgasm, which sucked.  But I just smiled, swallowed, then pulled off my shirt, lay back on the bed, and started fingering myself until one of the others got the hint and mounted me.

He lasted the longest, giving me a nice orgasm without breaking stride, though he did get all big-headed when he could tell he was making me cum.  I think there were high-fives.  He pulled out and the last guy popped in while he stuck his cock in my mouth to get finished off.  I don't know what the last guy was doing because I barely felt anything before he was out and wanting to cum in my mouth too.

And that was that.  They were pleased with themselves and went to go get another drink.  I was pleased with myself and lay there for a while stroking my pussy and wishing they had cum inside me.

And then a random guy and girl, both drunk, stumbled in on my nudity.  He said, "Oh shit, she's in here jerking off," and his girl started drunkenly laughing and saying I was a slut, but then she saw that he was just staring and started getting pissed at him.  He tried not to look, but come on.  The most he was likely to have gotten was a sloppy blowjob, and here was this girl lying on the bed, legs spread, looking well-fucked, who was playing with herself and didn't seem to give a damn what they were doing.  She stormed off.  He looked like he was torn.  I just said, "Room for one more," and licked my fingers, and he was inside me quicker than a cat up a tree.

He was too drunk to control himself, so he came inside me and then said, "Fuck, I've got to go find her," or something slurry, and stumbled off.  And I went back to playing with myself until I had a nice O, then seeing as no one else had stumbled in, I cleaned up a little, put my clothes back together, and left.

Gangbang?  Yeah, I guess so.  Enjoyable?  Sure.  Could have been better, but I really shouldn't complain.

Other than that, I've had a few foursomes with three guys in my life.  I've been triple-teamed by Mike, Uncle Sam, and Dad.  I've been in bigger groups where three guys were paying attention to me at a time.  But as far as actual gangbangs go, it's just a matter of logistics.  When I hit some milestone birthday, maybe I'll get another as a present.  But they're tough to organize.

Okay, that's all for gangbangs, unless you've got questions.  Maybe next, I'll talk about coed groups.

Two Ladies

Shout out to Cabaret!

Okay, so having covered some thoughts on MMF threesomes, let's dive into another sort.  I don't have any experience with MMM threesomes (although I'd be happy to learn, not sure how other than watching one) and I've talked about FFF threesomes in the recent past.  So before I move on to larger groups (if I do; requests welcome) I'll tackle every guy's favorite situation.

Only it isn't.  I've talked with numerous guys for whom it wasn't a huge turn-on, either because they didn't want to share, because they weren't into it for whatever reason, or because they were worried about satisfying two girls.

Let's address those.  Firstly, if you're not okay with sharing, that's totally fine.  Whether you're sharing your partner with another man or another woman, some people can't do it.  And that's totally okay.  This is a no judgment zone.

Secondly, if you're worried about satisfying two girls at the same time.... that's probably a decent worry.  In a lot of FFM threesomes, it's on the guy to do the heavy lifting.  And I'm afraid that guys have some disadvantages there.  I can happily fuck two or more guys to completion, but a guy has only so many orgasms to give out.  So if your partners are both looking for you to cum for them, that can be difficult.

The way around that is to give the ladies what they want in other ways.  If foreplay is important when it's just a guy and his lady friend, then it's more than doubly important when there are two armies at the gates, as it were.  I've been with guys who only came once the entire threesome, but they got me and my lady partner off multiple times.  Sure, it's nice to get two, but I wasn't complaining.

But as I did with the previous post, let's just run down some of the computations.  First off, there's the fantasy: "I just want to watch you two fuck each other, then maybe, if I'm lucky, get to join in."  Lesbians or girls who express any tendency toward being down with another lady hear that all the fucking time.  Usually it's just watching.

And you know what?  It doesn't have to be creepy.  If all three of us are willing, I've got no problem with the guy wanting to enjoy the two ladies pleasuring each other.  Don't be a dick about it.  Don't ask people who are not into you to let you watch.  But if all parties are inclined, I've cheerfully let a guy watch me and a special lady friend in our amorous embraces and been totally fine with that.  It can be a turn-on.  Situations vary; I've had very few good times that way just being out with a girl and meeting a guy who wants to watch.  But if, say, that girl is your sister and you want to watch me fuck her brains out but aren't yet enlightened enough to join in, no big deal.  I get off on that, and you and she probably do too.

If you and your lady friend are looking for a partner for her to experiment with, hey, I'm down with that as well.  If you want to watch, I can totally see why.  I've been with women who were with their boyfriends (or husbands, on a few occasions) when we met, but after the negotiations were concluded, the man left and let us get to business.  On at least a few of those occasions, the lady would go back and tell the man all about it, so it was a bit of a cuckolding situation.  Sometimes it was something she was into, he wasn't really, but he was being supportive.  I get off a little on being with someone else's partner (because I'm a freak) so I was fine with that.

More frequently, if it's that kind of setup, we all three go back to whatever place we go back to, and the guy watches us.  It's like a performance, sometimes.  That can be trouble if the lady is shy.  I was with one couple where it became clear, after a while, that the guy was making the girl do this.  It wasn't that she wasn't into me, just that he was definitely calling the shots.  He started ordering her around, telling her to do various things.  Not terribly sexy if it hasn't been cleared with everyone beforehand.  Kate and her husband can get like that sometimes.  I know what to expect there, but unexpected long-distance domination of the partner I'm trying to get off is a turn-off for me.

But most of the time, it's just fine.  Sometimes the guy just watches.  Sometimes he pulls out his dick and masturbates.  I don't usually pay much attention after a point.  But sometimes, if the guy gets naked and is moving closer, I'll encourage him to join in.  And that's when we get the fun stuff.

Between committed partners, I've been basically a sex toy.  I remember one married couple, the guy much older than me, the woman probably older by a few years, where the deal was that the wife and I would get to play as much as we wanted, but he only fucked her.  I support boundaries, but lines get blurred, and I did wind up cleaning him off and getting him hard again, and he came in my mouth the second time.  But nothing in the pussy.  That was the deal.  I can work around that.

I've also been with a couple where it was the opposite: he could fuck me all the way, but she wasn't interested in anything but watching us and playing with him.  Again, lines got blurred and she did wind up sucking my tits while he fucked me, and she ate his cum off of my belly when he pulled out, but no kissing and I didn't really touch her.

I suppose I should have put in sooner that sometimes there's a "FFM" where it's the woman watching her man fuck me.  Fewer of those, but it happens sometimes.  I was with this very nice couple in college (well, I was in college and they were both on staff) where the woman was basically disinterested in sex, so she decided to let him have the sex he needed with other people, but she wanted to be there so it was like she was fucking him in spirit.  I remember they kissed a lot while he was inside me.  She stayed fully clothed and by his side the whole time.  You might think that was weird, but we had gotten to know each other beforehand.  It wasn't a random hookup.  I'd actually gotten to know her first, and we'd talked over drinks a few times about sex, and she finally asked me if I was interested in joining them, which I was, so I got to know him a little and they told me what the score was.  And I was down.

Sometimes arrangements go bad.  I'm not proud of myself sometimes.  He started seeing me without her, telling me that they'd decided that he had to get his alone.  And she seemed like that was okay at first, but then she got really jealous of me and told me she didn't want me to see him any more by myself, but he kept wanting to see me and saying she'd changed her mind again, and finally I had to tell her what was going on behind her back.  She got super pissed at me and we never really talked again.  And... well, I kept being his avenue to cheat on her, and they finally separated.  I think he was interested in something serious with me, but I wasn't interested in that, so he got pissed at me too and that was that.  Bridge thoroughly burned.

Moving on from that somewhat unpleasant experience (I mean, the sex was great though) there's times when it's me and a girlfriend (Gwen and I did this a lot) picking up a guy.  Or when a couple picks me up and they're both interested in all of it.  Either way, that's when we come to a guy really having to satisfy two girls, and that can be rough.  But often it's not.  There's something extremely sexy about being next to another woman while a guy swaps his cock from one to the other.  Or having a girl eat you out while a guy's cock is in you, pussy or ass, it's all good.  Or getting to suck a cock right out of another gal's pussy.

I guess, rather than going through a whole list of things which make an FFM work, I'll just say that if the guy is willing to try to give both gals pleasure, that counts for a lot.  Maybe one of you gets more penetration time, but it doesn't have to be a clinical calculation.  It's heat of the moment stuff.  Hell, I'm happy to tag along with a couple where all I really get to do is be the third pleasure wheel.  I've been with couples who were mostly fucking each other but where there were no lines to cross and I got plenty out of it.

I've walked in on couples more times than I can count.  At home it was pretty common, particularly when Sheri was still living at home.  That's not even counting walking in on Mike or Dad and one of the ladies of the family.  I've gotten more secondary action from Sheri's momentary conquests than anyone else, I think.  It's usually easier to pull off if the guy doesn't know we're related, but sometimes that doesn't matter either.  I mean, there are a lot of men out there who may not be into incest but are totally into fucking two sisters at the same time.

And there's my college years with Gwen, of course.  We had a special system which has never, every been copied: she'd hang something on the doorknob when she was in flagrante in our room, and I'd do the same (yeah, weren't we original).  But after we got to know each other better, that stopped happening as often, and I would walk in to Gwen fucking some guy a lot.  And if there was nothing on the knob and they were in there doing the deed, I'd come in and watch and join in if I cared to and the guy was okay with it, which most were.  Ditto for the reverse.  If you walk in and join, you're supposed to, by rule of honor, take a back seat to the gal who got the guy in the first place, but a few times that didn't happen.  I remember once, Gwen saw me come in, hopped off the guy, said, "Oh good, I'm glad you're here; I've got to take a break."  The guy started to get up, but Gwen just said, "Lexi is going to finish you up," and wrapped herself in a towel and headed for the bathroom while I stripped down and hopped on his cock like we were doing that bit from The Honeymooners.  "Mornin' Sam.  Mornin' Ralph."  Clock punched, time to go to work.  He was huge and I could understand why she needed a break.  Not really a threesome, I suppose, but it got me off.

And lastly, before I finish up this particular topic, there are times when you walk in on complete strangers and they invite you to join.  Rara avis, that one.  I was working somewhere, don't remember where, and I went into a back room to get something and there were two people I knew vaguely but had never really talked with that much going at it against a wall.  I think the guy was an actor and the girl was in props or costumes or something.  It was a party, I think, after hours, or after normal hours because theatre life has no hours.  I think I'd left the main party to do something work-related in the darker areas of the theater.  But she gasped, "Oh god, come here, he's so hot," or something like that, so I said, "Okee dokee," and came over and got drunken kisses from the cute prop girl.

He pulled out of her and I got on my knees immediately because he had a nice cock, not enormous but just pretty.  Cut, thick, veiny, with a big head and a shaft long enough that it tickled the tonsils when I deepthroated him.  They were both pretty drunk.  Not falling-down drunk, but drunk enough that they both instantly thought it was a great idea to have me join them.  Pretty soon she had my pants and panties down, my shirt up, and was sucking my tits like there was no tomorrow while I sucked his cock and he fingered her.  Then he pulled me up and pressed into me against the wall.  It had been a long day, so it was very nice to be filled like that.  They were kissing, then she basically pulled all of us down so my head was between her legs and he was fucking me from behind on all fours, and it was pretty hot and heavy from then on out.

We each got a load, separated by some very nice drunken girl-on-girl, and then we excused ourselves to go back to whatever we were doing.  But when I came back a few minutes later, they were back, or at least I thought they were back, until I realized that no, it was the cute prop girl, but the guy was a different guy, another cute actor.  What a whore she was, and I was loving it, because she called me over again and we had two FFMs in the same night.

So there's some random stuff about FFMs.  Drop me a request or a question and I'll write more.  I can be specific, if there's a story I've teased in one of these ramblings which piques your interest.

Sheri Q and A

Got a request on Twitter from @RyanHuddleston1.  You can totally talk to me on Twitter, guys.  It's amazing.  Not Twitter; Twitter is kind of silly.  But it's amazing that I actually pay attention to what people are saying to me on Twitter.  Something like that.

He asked for some Sheri stories... which I don't have prepared because I can't think of any worth telling right now.  So instead, I fired up the ol' IM (or whatever you kids are calling it these days) and asked her a few questions, hoping it might spark some recollections.  And then I lightly edited her answers and munged things around and so forth, and now, here, for the first time on television, Sheri answers some questions that I could think to ask.

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#1 - What's your favorite position?

Don't make me choose.  Okay, fine, doggie.  You mean with only one guy, right, because I can't think of the names of positions for three.  Or four.  But I really like doggie.  It's got a lot going for it.  It's easy to spank my ass.  He can switch to fucking my ass easily if he wants.  It hits good places in my cunt.  I don't have to look him in the eye if I don't really like him.  Kidding.  Mostly.

#2 - What kind of porn are you watching lately?

Been on a throat-fucking kick recently.  I don't like it that much when I do it, but watching those girls gag is sexy as hell.  Better if she's getting railed by another guy and they're fucking both ends really hard.  But that's just recently.  I'm cosmopolitan.

#3 - Who was the last guy you fucked?

This will hopefully be out of date by the time you post it, but a few days ago I had a gorgeous blond boy.  Very ripped, very stupid, but just so damn pretty.  Home from college, bless his heart.  I saw him chasing some chippies unsuccessfully and suggested that he'd have an easier time with me.  Those chippies didn't know what they were missing.  I blew him in an alley, but he lasted longer than I thought he would, so we went back to my place because I wasn't going to waste him on my mouth.  Once in the cunt, twice in the ass, I was walking funny the next day at work.  I might see him again.  So dumb though.  So very dumb.  Not one to keep, but I'll keep having a bit of fun with him while it lasts.

#4 - How about the ladies?

Trish. [Lexi note: Trish is my sister's coworker/lover.  Nothing serious; my sister doesn't get serious.  But they're a regular thing.] In the supply closet, actually.  We do it on breaks so it's not like anyone can complain.  I keep a double dil in my locker for us.  Last time was nothing special though.  We both were worked up and she whispered to me, "Supply closet in five," and we went.  No time for anything but a quick grope and gasp.  I think people could smell cunt-juice on us, but it's a shitty job and I don't give a fuck what they think.

#5 - Most interesting recent partner?

Shit, put me on the spot.  Okay, I was a guy's first a few months back.  Son of a friend.  She wanted him to get his dick wet before he was out of her house and she couldn't keep him safe.  As far as I know, there's nothing going on there like us [Lexi's note: she means incest] but he's a shy kid, real momma's boy, never dated, not many friends.  She wanted him to learn a few things.  I mean, you've been there too.  They're divorced and he doesn't have a strong father figure in his life.

She wanted it to be at her house.  I asked her if she was going to watch, which spooked her a little.  I said I was just kidding, I'd do it, blah blah blah.  I know the kid a little, I've met him before.  So I went over for dinner, then mommy said she had to run some errands and would he entertain me.  It took a while to get him to talk to me, but I just laid it straight out: "Your mom wants you to become a man in the privacy of your own home with someone who's going to help you out.  She's cool with it.  Might help you when you get to college."

He might have been shy but his eyes lit up.  Once I told him what the score was, he wanted to know if he could kiss me.  Hell yeah, kid, kiss away.  You can do other stuff too.  I told him we'd take it as slow as he liked, then we went up to the spare room because he didn't want me to see his room.  I think he's embarrassed of his furnishings or something.  Or he didn't want to get jizz all over his own bed.

I helped him take my clothes off, lay back, and told him he could touch or kiss or lick whatever he wanted.  He was in his undies and I could see the tent.  He liked playing with my tits a lot, liked sucking on them more.  But he really liked kissing me.  Sweet kid.  After a bit, I said I was going to suck him off, just to take the edge off, and he was fine with that too.  He didn't last long in my mouth but I told him that was fine, that now that he wasn't nervous we could keep going.

Then he asked me if I wanted him to lick me.  Sweet kid, like I said.  I said, "Hell yes little man."  No, I didn't say that, I was very respectful and gentle.  But I said I'd show him around, then gave him some lessons on pleasing a lady.  I told him that even if he was pretty quick on the draw, he could make it up to his lady by making sure she got hers, and the best way to do that is by going down town.  I think he was scared of it at first, but once he got to see the show, he liked making me moan.  I think he'll do all right with the coeds.

Then, God bless youth, he was hard again and I told him it was the big moment, let him choose how he wanted me.  He went with missionary.  Totally respectable choice, since it meant he got to see everything.  I helped him slip his cock into me and then told him that he needed to go slow with girls unless they said different, and I was saying different, so he could be as hard as he liked.

He was still gentle.  I had to help out with a finger or two until he got the rhythm.  He popped out once or twice, but come on, it was his first time.  When he almost jammed it in my ass I laughed and said that I didn't mind that but most girls would, so he needed to be careful.  His eyes got wide when I said I didn't mind, but he didn't do anything about it.

He lasted a respectable time, not long enough for me to cum but longer than in my mouth.  He gasped that he was going to cum and I just wrapped my legs around him and kept him there until he shot into me.  He liked that too.

Then we talked.  Told him some other useful stuff about sex.  Then we heard his mom come home and he was ready to run away, but I just yelled down to her that we were fine and she should make herself scarce.  I don't know. She could have been listening at the keyhole.  I think he's got a little kinky in him because once she said, "Okay, have fun," his cock jumped again and I told him to get ready for another.  Sucked him back hard, then when he asked if I wanted some of the same I said, "No hun, this is for you not me," and lay back again.  But he surprised me, asked me if I would do it from behind, and then when he was sitting back there, eyeing my butt, asked me sheepishly what I meant when I said I didn't mind.  He knew very well what I meant.  The kid's got internet.

I said, "Okay, I said you could do anything and it was for you."  So I helped him into my ass.  He was in hog heaven.  "Only with me," I said as I helped him in.  "Most girls need a lot more convincing."  Even after cumming two times before, my ass didn't let him last long, and he spent right into my butt with a cute little grunt.

He looked pretty worn out after that, so we talked a little bit more and then I pulled on some clothes to find mommy, told her he was a man and he'd done well, and was about to excuse myself when he came down and asked his mom, his mom if you can believe it, if I could stay the night.  She looked at me.  I shrugged.

We watched a movie, but halfway through I could see him eyeing me, so I whispered to his mom that he still had some needs, and she blushed a little.  I don't think she knew what she was getting herself into.  That's why she really should have taken responsibility for it herself.  But whatever.  He and I went back upstairs and I stripped down and told him to have at it.  He said, "I liked your butt, but I really want to kiss you some more while we do it."  So we fucked face to face again.  When I came, he was worried for a minute until I told him I was cumming, then he was pleased as punch.  I praised him a bit too much maybe.  He was getting off on getting me off.  But there are worse things.

He finished up after a while, then we finished the movie, then we went to bed.  I thought he might sleep with me, but he went to his own room and I got the wet bed to myself.  Whatever.  But after a few hours, he woke me up by sliding in next to me and said he didn't want his mom to know.  I told him she probably knew, but he said she was asleep.

We started out in clothes but that didn't last long.  He asked me if he could go down on me again.  Yeah, like I'm going to say no.  I came all over his face.  Then we just kind of made out for a while.  He wasn't a bad kisser, just timid.  I showed him a thing or two.  He just loved kissing me while holding my tits.

He couldn't stay hard though, and I said that was fine.  It had been a long day.  He looked sad until I told him I would make sure to get up early next morning.  Then he sneaked back to his room.  Wouldn't you know it, way too damn early he was back, sun just barely up above the hills, said his mom was still asleep and could I do it again.  I said yes.  What was I going to say?

His mom walked in on us as he was balls-deep in my cunt, hands full of tits, legs up over his shoulders.  She just took one look, blushed, and closed the door.  Breakfast was a bit awkward.  Nobody really said much.  I excused myself, although he followed me to the door like a puppy and kissed me like he was afraid it was the last time he was ever going to kiss anyone.

And then mommy didn't speak to me for a week.  I think she was pissed I corrupted him.  Serves her right for asking me.

I'd do him again.  Once the nerves wore off, he wasn't a bad lay, plus the thrill of doing it with his mom downstairs knowing what was happening.  Plus he was eager to eat me out.  I think if he can get over the first nerves, he's going to make those coeds really happy.

#6 - Worst sex recently?

I was drunk, he was drunk, he came all over my ass as he was trying to put it in, then he got really drunk defensive about it and we didn't go again.  He kicked me out and I left my panties in his bedroom.  I guess that counts as "sex" but it never got inside me and I got nothing out of it and lost a nice pair of panties.  But you know me.  I've lost more panties in strange places...

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Okay, that's all for now.  But if you've got questions you'd like to hear from Sheri, or Mike, or Sveta, or me, you can email me or comment or tweet.  Seriously.  If you ask a specific question I'll try to get the answer for you.  Or if you want me to ask these same questions of someone else, I can do that too.  You've got to ask.

Long Overdue

Okay, so first of all, I'm alive.  And I sorry.  Shit got real and then I couldn't handle it.  I have fun mental health issues which have nothing to do with anything except sudden inability to handle anything, which is why I didn't even bother to say goodbye.  As for why I would have had to say it were I mentally stable...

Thing is, first life got crazy and then crazier, and then... well, batten down the hatches. If you're the type who is squeamish about medical conditions, particularly involving lady parts (guys, we didn't make our vaginas complicated to fuck with your brains; if it were up to me we'd all have simple and foolproof genitals and fucking would be recreational for everyone). you may want to skip the rest.  I'm okay. I'm alive. I'm not back to blogging at the moment.

Turns out that the reason Sheri can't carry a baby to term(my sisters, for those who are newer to the party) is because she has a congenital problem with her ovaries and uterus. Turns out that lady-parts doctors aren't all rocket scientists or even particularly compassionate or caring. She only found this out recently because she switched doctors and her new doc actually took the time to ask her some questions about her conception/miscarriage woes. Yeah, I know, what a strange idea, right?

They did tests, lots of tests, before figuring out what might or might not be wrong, and what they seem to feel now is congenital defects in the uterus.  Before you jump to conclusions, no, this has nothing to do with too shallow a gene pool; my parents aren't related, to the best of anyone's knowledge.  It's a birth defect which can happen to anyone. Foreshadowing.

Sheri was crushed.  There's not much they can do; it doesn't threaten her health but it means getting pregnant is not likely and won't end happily in any case.  Which would explain why she's bare-backed it so many times and suffered no ill consequences. But once she found out, she practically forced Mari (my other sister, again for those who came in late) and me to get tests done.

Mari is fine. Her uterus is pretty as a picture, prettier even because it's just one pretty end of a pretty system on the whole.  She's not sure about kids, but if she ever wanted to have them, they say her chances of carrying to term are excellent.

Which brings us to little old me.

About 2 months before Sheri contacted me about her diagnosis, I had started getting achy really, really easily when having sex.  At first I thought it was just the roughness, deep penetration, what have you, but they happened even when I was being gentle as a lamb and merely petting myself (again, as a lamb).  When they first started I had had a rather exciting day, so I thought maybe I was just bruised.  I'm not as young as I used to be.

But by the time Sheri convinced me to hit a doctor, I was getting achy any time I got even the slightest bit excited, carnally-wise. In other words, my pelvis hurt when I was horny.  And the more aroused I got, the worse the hurt got, to the point where I was basically serving as a living sex doll for any sex partners I had, trying not to get close while trying to get them off.  I had obligations.  I wasn't about to let a little pain stop me.

Fast forward to now.  I'm not blogging because I have something wrong with my insides, likely my ovaries but they're not sure.  It's likely not related to Sheri's issue; it came on quite suddenly and probably isn't congenital.  But it means that arousal equals pain.  Not just penetration, not just actively seeking orgasm, but any sort of arousal.

Which is hell.

I'm not telling this sob story to feel sorry for myself or to get anyone else to feel sorry for me.  I just want everyone to know that I would be cheerfully blogging again except for the fact that even thinking about sex is mildly unpleasant right now.  I'm caught in a Catch-22: arousal hurts (it's not even the sex act that does it) but if I don't get off I get incredibly horny which also hurts, so I have to try to find ways to get off with as little arousal as possible and as infrequently as I can stand, which would be fine except that orgasms hurt like a motherfucker, which means that everything is a giant cluster and there's no fuck involved.

So looking at porn, reading stories, remembering stories, writing stories... it's all really not fun right now.  And if it were just a little suffering, I'd be okay with it, but I don't think I could write quality in my current state.  Even writing this is getting me antsy because of association.

There is hope that they'll be able to do something about it, but it might involve removing various parts of me which make babies happen, and until I'm convinced that that's the only way or they tell me that I wouldn't be able to get pregnant anyway (which is a possibility but hasn't been confirmed) I'm not going down that road.  I'm trying to stay positive.

Again, not a sob story to make you feel sorry for me.  I've found that my favorite thing is just to lube up gently and then have a cock inside me without any thrusting; it feels like sex but it doesn't hurt anywhere near as much (although thinking about it aches a little).  And I've not completely stopped having sex either; sometimes I put up with the pain and scream a little when the O hits.  The pain isn't crippling, it's just not sexy.

So don't feel sorry for me; I'm sorry I can't share with you right now.  As soon as that changes, I'll try to be better about posting.

I love you all.  If you have questions or comments, you can send them my way in whatever way you like.  In lieu of any sympathy for me, get-well-soon cars, etc. I ask that you please find someone you love and make them happy in my honor.  Or make yourself happy in whatever way you see fit.  Love to you all, and I'll see you on the other side of this, because I'm not going without good sex for the rest of my life, even if it means I have to pull every reproductive organ I have out and have nothing but anal, or have them install a new pussy in my abdomen, or something.  I have not yet begun to fight!

Head

I said in the last post that I missed giving head for the sake of it, and that's true. I'm not sure why, and I'm not totally sure when I stopped doing it as much. Maybe because I enjoy penetration and creampies so much, I stopped blowing guys just to give them a blowjob, but did it to get them ready to fuck me. Most recently, Dad has required a certain amount of oral action to get it up at all, and I'm not going to waste my dad's erection. I don't know.

And now I'm not sure I can get back into it. Part of the reason is the above; I don't want to waste an orgasm on anything but my cunt. That's brutal economics here. Plus, I have fewer opportunities to just give someone a meaningless blowjob. Usually, if I'm going to blow somebody these days, I'm invested enough in it that I want to fuck them.

I may not miss blowjobs as much as I miss the titillation of random blowjobs. Not totally random, but blowjobs which were just spur-of-the-moment, with guys who were pretty much strangers. Not that I'm some kind of blowjob fairy or anything, but I did give a few blowjobs to guys in my day.

When I was young, that was pretty much the only way to get play from most guys. It was almost expected in my school; you went on a date, if you liked the guy you might give him a handjob, if you really liked him and wanted to see him again you gave him head, or (and this doesn't make me proud, but it's true) you gave him head because you wanted him to like you because he was popular, or because he could do something for you. Yes, high schoolers trade sex for favors. It's not pleasant. In my case, it wasn't as bad because I didn't really view sex as some big deal, but for other girls, it really messed them up.

Also, nobody fucked on the first date. Maybe Sheri (I love her, but she was widely regarded as the school bicycle) but not even me. There were rules. Unwritten, confusing, and contradictory, but you were really loose if you gave up the poonanner on the first date. But if you wanted to fuck, you'd have to blow the guy on the first date, unless he was a total loser.

It's making me slightly annoyed to talk about this, because I really hate high school and I find the whole thing ridiculous. But even I, iconoclast though I was, had to follow some rules because the guys followed them. Even if I were just trying to steal a guy away from some popular bitch to prove a point or make her miserable (not proud, but it happened once) I still had to abide by some rules.

And of course, in middle school, boys didn't have sex. I might be able to get a boy to let me touch his cock, but he wasn't about to fuck me, mostly because most boys that age, at least in my school, hadn't the first idea of what to actually do. I'm pretty sure they would have tried to fuck my belly button, given the chance. But I could get blowjobs out of them sometimes.

And, let's be honest, sometimes I would give head because I was just being friendly. Like I said, it didn't matter that much to me. I didn't feel dirty about it; it was something I did, like kissing. Not for everyone, but it was friendly.

In college, I had a tougher time. I know that sometimes I make my college experience out to be some wild party, and it wasn't, but it also was a tough time in my life. I was rebelling against things, I was doing really stupid things, I was basically not giving a shit. And I wasn't even doing it in a structured way, the way Sheri does it. She's wild and crazy, but she's not doing it to run from something. She likes doing things, and she doesn't care about propriety, but it's not unhealthy for her, at least not as unhealthy as it was for me.

So yes, I gave anonymous blowjobs. Not glory hole, but I would meet a guy at a party, take him to a quiet place, and suck him off for no reason other than that I wanted to taste his cum right then. And then I might never see him again, or at least not see him socially. And the strange part is, I miss that. Maybe I'm feeling depressed about life again. Or maybe it's just the thrill of it.

I've never been that into bukkakke, but I do like a circle of cocks, waiting to be sucked. Not that it was a regular occurrence, but it happened a few times when parties got drunk enough. I remember staggering home one night, reeking of sweat, vodka, and jism, and only later realizing that I didn't have any clothes on. I hadn't fucked anyone, but I guess I didn't want to make a mess. My tits were covered in cum. I'm pretty sure that at least five guys had let me suck them off onto my chest, and I know that there was a cheering section. And despite that being a really, really bad idea and self-destructive and all that, I think about it and get turned on.

I like the taste of cum. I always have. I still think that I could have happily sucked Dad off even before I was allowed to have sex, and it might have made the waiting more bearable. But as the years went by, I just liked cum inside me more and more, to the point where that's pretty much all I want now.

I guess it's like erogenous zones though. Foreplay can't just be about tits and pussy. If you concentrate on one pleasure center, eventually you'll wear it out. So I think that I'll enjoy blowjobs more. Maybe give more of them to people I'm not planning on fucking. Just be friendly.

This was a ramble through various things, not all of them completely pleasant, but thanks for sticking with me, if you did.

Five

Five years ago on this day I started this blog with this post. Go back and read it if you'd like, relive the memories (not that I imagine there were many people who actually read it the first day it was up), whatever.

Now, five years later, it's a bit different. I'm not 20-something (gasp). I have fewer stories to tell, and I get off less on telling them than I used to because I've run out of the exciting ones and most of the ones that remain are more banal, at least to my mind. I have less time and energy.

I'm not stopping. But I'm reevaluating. And I'm having to slow down a bit because, let's face it, blogs are no substitute for real life.

A lot of very nice people (well, a lot relatively speaking anyway) have said that they don't care, that they want me to continue as I have been, even if I'm not constantly telling exciting stories. They like the blog, and that touches me. Several have gone so far as to say that they wish I would branch out into more fiction, the way some of my fellow bloggers do. Hell, a few have even said they'd read something I wrote even if it weren't erotic at all.

Basically, I love each and every one of you, and I hope you'll bear with me as I try to sort things out a bit. And if things change in a way you don't like, I hope you won't hate me for doing what I have to do. I'm not saying that it's not my blog to do with what I please, but it pleases me to please you in some way. Without you, I wouldn't be blogging, I'd be masturbating. And that's not as interesting.

Flash Fiction Friday is wonderful, and I wish I had the ability to do it every week. Lately, things have conspired to stop me. I could see doing fiction, but it would be a different blog then, and I'm not sure I shouldn't just start a different blog if that's what I'm planning on doing. There are also concerns of paranoia; every day this blog is up is a day that I worry, just a little, that it will hurt someone I love. In hindsight, I'm not sure it was a good idea to start blogging as I did; I should have been more circumspect. And now I'm faced with the choice: do I continue as I have and worry more and more, or do I stop and disappoint people?

I'm thinking about things. That's where I am. I wrote this in advance, just in case I wasn't able to make it online on the actual anniversary, so rest assured that I'm thinking about things.

To keep this from being overly depressing, here's an old snapshot I dug out of the box. I'm not sure when or where it was taken, but it was a happy time. I'm in there somewhere. I'll leave it to you to figure out where; it shouldn't be difficult. Simpler times, simpler pleasures. It's perhaps more graphic than usual, but I'm tired of teasing, I guess.

Teasing

As I make clear over and over again, I love me some questions from actual humans rather than memes. Sure, sometimes the answers aren't interesting, or they're questions I can't really answer on the blog for one reason or another, but I jump at a good question. In the course of a conversation, I was asked a question which I felt warranted a response, so here goes (the question has been chopped up a bit because, as I said, it was part of a conversation and so needed context):

"You ever do anything like... [t]ease an older man, maybe in public [when you were younger]? Knowing he was looking at you when maybe he shouldn't and you just couldn't resist teasing him a little?" - p.s.

I'm shy. I really am. I know that I come off on the blog like I'm some kind of exotic temptress who oozes sex at all times, but you'd never know it to meet me. Most people have no idea I'm even promiscuous, and if they know that I've had a bit of experience, they sometimes can't rationalize it with how I appear in everyday life. I don't flirt all that much, unless I'm in my comfort zone or I don't give a shit. I'm not really all that great at picking people up; most of my past "conquests" have fallen into my lap, and I'm saying that to give myself as little credit as possible. As a seductress, unless someone is already trying to be seduced, I suck. If someone is trying, then I'm easy.

But balance that against the fact that I was a very precocious child. Yes, I was one of those annoying kids, and while I find them (and myself) just as annoying, I have a great deal of sympathy for them because it's hard. Most of my friends growing up were older than I, sometimes much older. Many of my lovers have been. I tend to come off as older than I am, or even look, and (not tooting my own horn, just stating the facts) I've always been well-educated enough to make people believe that I must be older than I look, never mind that, after a certain point, I started looking pretty much how I look now, only with a better, easier-to-maintain body (damn it).

So while I didn't flirt with older men when I was a teenager (well, not much) I did tease them, sometimes unconsciously. I went through a period after my parents decided that I was allowed to pick my own clothes, within reason, where I pushed the boundaries of "within reason" to their limits. I'm not saying I dressed skanky, I just dressed older. I got my aunt to buy me mini skirts that my parents wouldn't like and wore them when they weren't around. And of course, once I started having to wear a Catholic schoolgirl uniform, there wasn't much I could do that wasn't teasing, I'm afraid. Like all girls I rolled up my skirt, wore stockings, opened an extra button, all those things that were almost compulsory if you didn't want to be a total loser (which, I'm somewhat sad to say, was always somewhat borderline for me, even with my efforts).

As a walking embodiment of sex appeal for some people, I imagine that my mere existence outside the cloister of Catholic school was enough to drive some men to distraction. I noticed it on many occasions; I'd get long, longing stares if I went to McDonalds or walked down the street. And that didn't bother me; I was actually rather taken with it. Even before I hit that point, I'd occasionally notice a guy looking at me a little longer than he should have and get misty. I don't like creepy or stalking, but I really don't mind someone enjoying looking at me. If that makes me whatever that makes me, I guess I just have to live with that.

But beyond passive and accidental teasing... well, yes, I'm guilty of some active teasing as well. Mostly it wasn't particularly directed; I'd just know that people were looking and flaunt it a little. I was bad at swimming pools; wearing a bikini is as close to being naked as I usually got in public areas, and if I was feeling particularly frisky, I might adjust my suit a bit longer than necessary after coming out of the pool, or bend over to pick something up without bending my knees.

Sheri was a bad influence here too; on more than one occasion, in strange places, she'd get me into teasing some man whose gaze happened to linger. We'd start whispering, and then giggling and eying him, and depending on the circumstance maybe cross and uncross our legs to make our skirts ride up a bit. As we got older, particularly after Sheri decided that she was old enough to no longer care about age restrictions (which came a while before she actually was able to stop caring completely) she'd flaunt it much more and drag me along, "kicking and screaming."

I remember once we were in a fast food place sitting across from this guy who seemed pretty old at the time but was probably only in his twenties. He looked over at us over his girlfriend's back, and we grinned back at him, then Sheri planted a kiss on my lips and blew him one too. His eyes bugged out a little, but he stayed quiet, although we had an audience for the rest of the meal. I doubt he heard a single word his poor girlfriend said.

I've only been overtly sexual once or twice in a tease, at least in one which wasn't directed at someone I either had already had sexually or was planning on having. I'll tease by showing off a bit, but only a few times have I moved past showing off into doing something other than polite, shall we say. Maybe it's because I'm really actually shy about sex. I don't know; I doubt it. I'll give bonus points if the guy who's ogling me catches my eye and doesn't look embarrassed or look away. If you can be honest about the fact that, yes, you're ogling me, then I'm inclined to give you a treat.

The only time I remember specifically was sitting on a park bench wearing shorts (back when I still wore shorts) and leaving my legs spread maybe a bit too much. I wasn't thinking; it was warm and I was relaxing. I'm not prim and proper sometimes. Anyway, I noticed a guy in the grass a little way away looking at me. I was old enough to know that semi-deserted park plus guy staring might equal unpleasantness, but young enough not to have any evidence to prove that theory. I caught his eye, and he just looked back. Didn't leer, didn't grin, didn't do anything, just kind of looked and smiled slightly, like I'd caught him in the middle of smiling at something else and now his face was just relaxing. Pleasant enough.

So I spread my legs a little more, past "maybe a bit too much" and straight into "yep, that's too much" territory. These shorts weren't super skimpy, but in that pose they left very little to the imagination. He smiled a bit more, seeing me looking at him and spreading my legs but not getting ready to run. So I smiled back. Then I looked away, deliberately, like I was going to ignore him and let him do whatever he wanted, and then spread my legs a little more. I confess, I started to get a bit wet. Then, and this is the part where I slide over the line into evil, I "absently" reached down and ran my fingers over the seam of my crotch, like I was just scratching myself. I left my hand there, didn't really move it because I wasn't quite prepared to venture into public masturbation.

Finally, after a while, I squeezed my legs back together on my hand a few times (which felt fantastic and made me want to rip all my clothes off and jump any guy at all right about then) and then pulled my hand back out and looked back over to see how my audience was doing. He was still looking in my direction, and I nodded to him, just slightly, as I got up and walked somewhere else because I didn't want to put on a show any more, I wanted sex, bad.

Thinking back on it, I'm not actually all that proud. I don't tease much any more because it doesn't seem fair. I mean, I'll tease if we both know that it'll go somewhere eventually, but to tease without any hope is kind of cruel, to my mind. And while I like being watched sometimes, I get off less on it if I feel like I'm being malicious in some way. I'm just a big old softy.

Now, of course, I might get up after catching his eye and go over and strike up a conversation. Or I might let him look but not encourage him. Or I might, no matter how bad I feel afterward, spread my legs a little more, if only to give him a better view. There's no harm in giving someone what they want, is there? Okay, don't answer that.

Nothing particularly shocking in my testimony, but you never know, the next question might be a doozy. So ask, please. I don't have a cute little widget for questions because I don't like formspring, but comments are always on and email is a viable option as well. If you've asked a question in the past and I forgot about it, ask it again, and I'm sorry for being my usual scatter-brained self. If nothing else, I'll say, "Oh, I already answered that," and point you in the right direction.

Playing Catch-Up

This weekend and start of the week has been rather confused and blog-free because of various reasons. I had some computer hiccups which were annoying rather than fatal but underscore the joy of computation. I was busy, and tired, and sick, not necessarily in that order. I was lonesome too. And I was profoundly un-sexy throughout I'm afraid. I couldn't even muster mild smoldering.

The drama of the previous week has receded into memory, as all players attempt to pretend that nothing happened. I'm fine with that; keep me out of it, I say. It did result in a few days of tension, which only exacerbated my somewhat-tense condition. Then I think I may have gotten either heat stroke or dehydration from working in a building which has, charitably, "air conditioning." I'm very sensitive to temperature, I'm afraid, and I dehydrate at the drop of a hat. My throat bugged me too. I'm not saying all of this for sympathy, just as a report. Please don't be sympathetic. And if you're going to be, my favorite online sympathy gift is questions to answer or porn, remember that.

The big news was that I loaned my car to Sveta (who can drive, despite it perhaps seeming like she can't because I never talk about her driving, but doesn't have a car) so she can drive to see Ernst. I wish I could have gone with her. She's sending me little snippet emails every so often suggesting that the getting is good, and she's getting plenty. "His cock is so tasty," was the last one I got, some hours ago. Damn it.

This was all part of a big plan, involving Sveta lying to her parents and arranging with me to get a car, which I let her have because my parents are sympathetic sorts who are suckers for romance, so they said I could borrow their car during the times I need to have a car this week, and other times I can live without it. I just hope she doesn't break down on the road home; my cars have been known to do that in the past. Once I broke down in the middle of nowhere on my way back to college after surprising my family for Thanksgiving. Yeah, that was fun.

In other news, I got a fun email from Sheri, who is, of course, still crazy. She sent a picture which she said I could share, just in case people have gotten tired of looking at me.

She's still working the job she's sworn she's going to quit for the past five years it seems like, and doing quite well for herself. Still the irrepressible scamp, despite being a button-down businesswoman now. I don't get it; I bet everyone in our youth was convinced that I would be the businesswoman and Sheri would be either living in a commune somewhere or in jail. Okay, maybe that's a bit harsh; I just can't fathom my crazy sister being in an office. Of course, it doesn't help that she's screwing the boss seventeen ways to Sunday. I'd say it was getting serious, because this is one of the longer relationships she's had, except for the fact that he's married, they always meet on the sly, and she's fucking other people at the same time. Her sex life makes mine look positively Puritanical by comparison.

Maybe I'm feeling a bit jealous. She's got a good job, all kinds of sex, a life which really should be blogged, and money. I've got very little of any of that at the moment. The solution is probably to seek out some excitement, and I keep meaning to do that. Maybe I will. Sheri's not lording it over me or anything; she wants me to have a fun time too, which is why she keeps inviting me to come to her place and have a threesome with her boss. Because that wouldn't get her a promotion at all, would it?

Anyway, the prolonged silence isn't anything but life. I'm alive and okay, for the most part. Don't worry about me.

Nipples

I had a question, or rather a series of related questions, which just begged answering.

"So I was wondering - speaking as a young girl who became sexually aware and aroused at a relatively early (flat) age, when did you discover your nipples? [W]ere your nipples a playground before your breasts developed? Did they become more sensitive during their development? What's the back story on your front story? What's YOUR take on [nipples]? On yours, and your preferences for others?" - p s

Basically this is an invitation to ruminate on nipples, but I'll try to stay focused.

From a very early age, I knew nipples were for nursing. I think all girls go through a phase of wanting to be mommies, and it seemed natural at the time to try out nursing as well, because after all, that's what they were for, right? I don't remember a lot of this; I'm just putting it together from vague recollections. Anyway, I know that I tried to get Mike, when he was still a baby, to nurse on me, but since I wasn't giving milk it didn't work out well. But there was definite sensation there, and I must have filed that fact away for future reference.

Of course, once I was introduced to sex, I wanted to know all about it, so nipples were a part of the information I wanted to learn. But even when I started masturbating, I didn't do a whole lot of nipple play because I was too focused on the main event, so to speak.

I think the first time I genuinely enjoyed my nipples was with Mari. She had breasts at that point, while I was still pretty flat, and she taught me how to suck on her nipples, then turned around and did it to me. Up to that point I hadn't really experienced nipple play, just some idle stroking and wishing I had breasts. But after that, I was all about getting my nips taken care of. They've never been my biggest erogenous zone, but they are definitely a zone I enjoy.

Mike went through a period of fascination with nipples, and I reaped the whirlwind on that. I've never orgasmed when I could feel it in my breasts; I'm not sure anyone really does, but one hears stories. But having a breast sucked while being penetrated is lots of fun, and until Mike hit his growth spurt he was at just the right height, compared to me, to do that. Dad couldn't really manage it; the best he could do was cup my breasts in his hands and roll the points between thumb and forefinger while his cock was inside me, which I also enjoyed but wasn't quite the same.

I guess my nipples may have become more sensitive as I became older, to a point, but the reverse is also true; I don't think that my nipples are as sensitive as they might have been the first time I really played with them. It might not be physical; the sensations just aren't as novel any more, perhaps.

As far as my take on nipples, I enjoy mine just fine. I like oral love, with a lot of tongue and a bit of suction, rather than pinching or nipping. Not being into pain, I'm obviously not into clips and so forth. But there's more to the breast than just the nipple; I like to be cupped, with my nipples in the center of the palm, with just a bit of pressure, maybe a bit of rocking up and down. I like kisses all over my breasts, and between them as well. Licking is also appreciated. Teasing around the nipple with just the tip of the tongue... well, that might get you a gold star.

I have fairly perky nipples but not ultra-puffy. For the size of my breast, I guess they're about normal. They get hard, but while I might make jokes about cutting glass, that's more hyperbole than fact; I've been with women whose nipples get way harder and pointier than mine. Still, they'll show through shirts. They're pink, just like my cunt, a pink which might not show up on darker skin but which stands out just fine on me. If I'm flushed, they get deeper pink, but only just noticeably, at least I'm told.

As far as nipples on other people, I like nipples that go with the breast. If you've got bigger breasts, you can get away with bigger nipples. A little puffy is okay, but sometimes women have breasts that look like they're the Giza plateau (only without the Sphinx, although I suppose that could be a metaphor for other cat-named things), and that's not my favorite. A clean demarcation between nipple and breast is nice, but not a deal-breaker. And I do like perky nipples, higher on the breast, but that's just me being shallow. It might seem like I'm describing my own nipples, and in a way I am; I'm pretty happy with mine, although I'm jealous of larger breasts and if I were to somehow get larger breasts I'd probably want slightly larger nipples to go with them. But I like tan nipples or brown nipples or basically any nipple that fits in with its breast. It's a difficult thing to describe; the aesthetic of nipples is complex in my mind.

I enjoy playing with other women's nipples a lot, to the point where I'll do things to them that I wouldn't want them to do to me. Only if they want that, of course, but I've done a wee bit of nipple torture with a few people, and I'm always happy to use my teeth gently, which some people seem to enjoy. I will definitely pinch if asked. But that's not just women; I've been with more than a few men who wanted a bit of nipple action, and I am happy, very happy, to give them the same treatment. In my somewhat limited experience men seem to either not be into nipple play or like it fairly rough (understanding, of course, that my definition of rough is lowballing it a lot).

Dad doesn't care about nipples; he'll let me play with his, but it's not his main thing. Mike goes through phases; sometimes he likes a bit of nipple nibbling, other times he doesn't. I'm given to understand that when the kids were young, throughout the period where Mom had us all and after we were weened, she was nipple-play-crazy. Breastfeeding didn't dull her interest in it at all. Mari likes to give and receive, and she's very good at both. Sheri is too rough, but she likes it when I'm rough back. Sveta and I like each other's nipples a lot, although neither of us are nipple-obsessed, and we both like about the same level of attention, so it works out well.

Beyond that, I went through a period of lactation fascination before I realized that it wasn't lactation so much as pregnancy. But I did hope, for a while, that I might be one of those people who lactates all the time. Now I'm not sure what I was thinking; it sounds embarrassing for those poor women, really. But I tried hard to get milk to come out. What can I say; I was young and dumb.

Hopefully that's enough information on nipples, but if not, or if you've got a similarly stimulating question, I can be reached via comments or by email at lexinaughtygirl[AT]gmail.com, which all you humans should be able to handle. If you really can't, I think my profile page has an email link built into it. I like questions, and while I don't like formspring, surely people can make the extra iota of effort and ask in some other way.