Weird Stuff I've Used For Lube

 I was thinking the other day about lube and how I don't always have it even though I try to keep it everywhere. This put me in mind of a few lube-related stories.

The first time I got fucked in the ass without lube other than pussy juice and spit, I was ready for it to be difficult, but pussy juice actually makes a pretty decent lube. At least mine does. I should probably say, "the first time I got fucked in the ass on purpose without lube," because the first time I ever got fucked in the ass was with Mike and it was a total accident when it happened.

This was with an older guy, not old enough to be my father or anything but a few years older, and we were pretty hot and heavy the entire evening. He got his cock sucked to warm up, then he fucked me in my clothes in his parked car, then he still wasn't done and he asked me if I liked anal. Hell yeah I liked anal. But no lube.

Fucking in his car was kind of uncomfortable, plus it was nighttime now and we were parked on a deserted stretch of road, so we moved out of the car to the hood. He already had my panties off, but he got my skirt off too, then he lubed up his finger with spit and pressed that into my ass, then bent me even farther over and slid his entire length into my cunt. I came, hard. He felt that, and pulled out and pressed into my ass, which was nice and tight. I almost dropped out of the O, it was so intense.

The other thing I remember about that evening was that, as he was fucking my ass, pressing my face down on the hood of his car, another car drove by. The headlights illuminated us for a few seconds, but they didn't stop, so maybe they didn't see us. Or maybe they did and disapproved but not strongly enough to call the cops. I've always wondered what would have happened had they stopped and asked to join. I was wild back then and I probably would have left them, even if it was a busload of football players or something.

Had I been a bit older I probably would have had some lube in my purse. I usually do. But sometimes you get stuck someplace where your purse isn't. I was fucking a guy in the closet at one of my first jobs, and the room this closet was a part of got occupied, and we were stuck half naked in the closet until they left. He started feeling me up again, like the threat of discovery was turning him on.

Frankly it turned me on too. This was at an after-hours function. And when the activity outside the closet got sexy too, both he and I were raring to go. I came on his fingers twice before he even entered me, I was that wound up.

But this is a story about lube, or the lack thereof. In this case, I wasn't feeling confident in my ability to take him in the ass because he was really thick, but I really wanted him in the ass because, well, I'm a sucker for a challenge. The closet we were trapped in was more of a utility room, and yeah, there were some containers of various things, and one of them was hand soap for the bathrooms.

I do not recommend this course of action. Just take him the traditional vaginal way. But I'd already told him I wanted him in my ass bad, and he suggested the hand soap. Let's just say it worked but my ass didn't feel quite right for a day or so after. And cleanup was a pain. I didn't really bother, but he had to wash his cock off in the sink before he could put his pants back on.

I've used olive oil as an anal lube many times. You shouldn't use it with condoms, but if you're raw-dogging it like I do far too often, it's totally fine. As is baby oil, but olive oil lends a nice perfume to things.

Let me see... I used bacon grease (not hot) once because Mike wanted to see if it made me taste like bacon. It did. He tasted like bacon too. I used hands lotion a few times, but again, not a course of action I'd recommend.

Oil has a lot going for it though. It's not water based so you can use it underwater, or rather you can apply it and it won't wash away. I used to use baby oil before any beach escapades. I'd lube my pussy up nice and slick, slip on my bikini, and be ready to pull it to one side underwater and get fucked.

Have you ever used anything odd as lube? Let me know in the comments, or via email, or on Twitter, or whatever.

Status Update

I haven't much felt like writing recently because there hasn't been much to write about. COVID is still making it impossible for me to seek out strange and new experiences to tell you all about, and many of the not-so-strange and not-so-new experiences have been curtailed as well. I wasn't planning on this when I restarted blogging, let me tell you.

Sveta and I are fine. My parents and siblings are fine. But I'm at a bit of a loss, blog-wise.

If you've got questions, now's the time. If you don't, I don't blame you, because it feels like I've answered all the questions I could possibly come up with. I might keep doing TMI Tuesday even though I'm out of the backlog I had, so now I can't be choosy and only answer sexy questions. I'm not sure anyone really wants to know what my thoughts on sock colors are, or whatever other inane questions are likely to be included in the weekly TMI, but if you don't want to hear about that, I don't know what to suggest instead.

You can send me links to porn and I'll review them? Do you want to hear more day-to-day mundane stuff? I don't know. I really was hoping to have better things to write about by now. My vagina is going a bit stir-crazy.

1000

Holy shit, one thousand posts. About 500 ones worth reading, probably. About 250 that are really sexy and not just mildly. About 100 that people have seen enough times to make me feel like I might have done something good with this blog after all these years.

I don't really know what to do for a thousand posts. All my other milestones have been pictorial, but that doesn't seem like it's good enough for the big 1K. So I'm going to share a little picture, but also I'm going to say that we'll be celebrating 1000 posts for a bit, and if you've got any suggestions, please let me know in the comments or by email.

Without further ado, here's to 1000 in the can and in the snatch!

Taboos

 An anonymous reader has kindly asked me a question, which doesn't bring up any memories but is a good question nonetheless. I hope you'll all allow me to ruminate on it in blog form.

"Is it more interesting -- or sexier? -- to live in a world without taboos, where everything is permissible (and there's no shame in desiring what we desire, so long as everyone is consenting)? OR, does the presence of taboos add to the sexiness of breaking them?"

It's actually a number of questions rolled into one, which is nice and indicative of a question worth considering.

First, is a world without any taboos possible? I'm not talking likely, I'm talking possible. I'd posit that no, it isn't. Why? Well, I think taboos are in our very nature as humans. There are always going to be things we regard as beyond the pale, both individually and as a society. I'd argue that if taboos didn't exist, we'd have to create them because, "Everything is permissible," just won't work.

The questioner even presupposes a perfectly reasonable limit which is "consent." Now personally I agree 100% with this limit, and that's about where my limits are, but I worry that if the only limits were "consent" then people who get off on violating the rules would have to break that one. I don't know. Still, I think that there will always be limits to what is acceptable, sexually and otherwise.

But let's say, instead of, "Everything is permissible," we go with, "No sexual activity which involves the consent of all parties involved is taboo." Even leaving aside the idea that public sex would still be taboo unless you had the consent of everyone who was going to come into contact with it, there may be no societal taboos, but each individual would certainly be their own judge as to what they would consent to, thus making the most prudish person in the room the adjudicator of what is and isn't taboo while they're around. Obviously that's currently true, and if there were no societal norms prohibiting sexual activities, then many people would become less prudish, but still, the taboos would be there.

I'm trying not to write a philosophical treatise on this question, so lets get to the fucking: would I find it more sexy if there were no taboos? On the surface, for someone like me who does in fact get off a little on things being taboo, I wonder if that would be less exciting. But on the other hand, I'm a giant fan of sex as a perfectly ordinary activity that doesn't raise any more eyebrows than eating or sleeping. I think fucking while doing other things is sexy as hell, honestly. So there's that part of me in the mix too.

What it boils down to is "interesting," actually. I think a world with no taboos is more interesting than one with taboos because we could expand the boundaries of sexual activity. And there's nothing which says that one can't artificially impose limits on a limitless situation in order to benefit from the conditions limits bring.

I think part of the difficulty in answering this question is a lack of imagination on my part. I have a difficult time imagining a world where there are no taboos so I can't see the benefits to that situation. As far as it being more or less sexy than the current taboo situation, I think it might be an apples/oranges comparison. It's sexy in a different way. As far as it being more interesting, something beyond my scope of imagination would have to be pretty interesting, or else I'd be able to imagine it. That's my thinking, anyway.

At the end of the day, I wish we had fewer taboos not because it would be more or less sexy or interesting but because it would be better for the world. A world in which we don't have the taboos against talking about sex means a world where children are safer (despite my own upbringing, I'm not necessarily recommending that every child be raised my way, but I do think that sex ed is vital to the safety of children as well as their future happiness) and where adults are happier because they can talk about an activity which is literally vital to the continuance of the species. Couples would be happier, for one. And there are other taboos which if we did away with them, we'd see a similar increase in happiness and safety for everyone.

Who am I to let my kink for violating the rules get in the way of increased human happiness and safety?

I hope that was at least a mildly interesting answer to the question. If you didn't care for it, ask me your own question which will hopefully inspire a response you're more into. Comments or emails are the best way to ask such questions.

Random New Position

This is totally random, but I just saw a drawing of a MMF threesome where the two men were basically ass to ass, lying on their backs, and the girl was side-saddling both of them at the same time, and it's a style of DP I've never seen before, and have definitely not seen in real life. It seems like it would be awkward, but it's a position I haven't tried and you know how I am about trying new positions unless they just plain don't work.

I like side-saddle, even though it's hard to make work sometimes. And I could see having side-saddle both ways would be a lot of fun. Has anyone ever seen this in the wild, or done it themselves?

For that matter, are there any positions I've never talked about that you think I should be aware of? I may be aware of them, but maybe it'll jog a memory or something. Comment, or email at lexinaughtygirly [AT] gmail.com.

Update: apparently this position is called the King of Clubs DP, at least according to this fascinating guide to DP positions I found. Boy, there are more than I thought, and some of them seem achievable by people who aren't yoga masters or gymnasts. I'll have to keep them in mind.

Nobody Blogs Anymore

Um... let's see, I got some meds which are helping with my brain stuff and I had surgery to help me with my body stuff and it seems like we're coming out of the Quarantimes whether we like it or not so there's a decent chance I might have something to talk about, so I managed to fix my computer and sign back into my account and here I am, talking to shadows.

But that's how I started this whole thing anyway. I never really did it for any reason other than to get off to being a verbal exhibitionist.

I'm doing this because I can, I guess. If it gets you off too, you're welcome. But don't expect too much right now. I'm just bored with picture books.

I'm going to try to get it together to do a brief update post on my life and what's happened since I last blogged, but if you want specific questions answered you'll have to ask them. I'm cutting back on correspondence because that really took a lot out of me, so if you've written me in the past and I never got back to you, I'm really sorry, try again maybe, or something. I don't know. I hate having to be all "boundaries" about this because I don't have any, really, but I also don't have the energy for long back and forths all the time.

I'm not starting over from scratch; the archive is still here and it's all still valid and so forth. But I am sort of wiping the slate clean a little. I don't know. This is probably a terrible idea.

But it's okay. No one reads blogs anymore.

Love you all, see you soon.

Incest vs. Rape

An anonymous reader was kind enough to pose the following question/comment:

I saw this in the NY Times yesterday and thought of you. I haven't read the book, only the review. A penny for your thoughts?

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/18/books/review-anonymous-incest-diary.html

First off, I haven't read the book either, nor am I likely to for various reasons not having much to do with the book itself.  So I can only speak to the review. But I'm happy to offer thoughts on the subject.

The issue, as I see it, is that many people don't have a meaningful understanding of consent.  Our sexual morality is largely informed by the idea that sex can only be moral under certain circumstances, and usually those circumstances don't have anything to do with consent.  People say that sex outside of marriage is immoral, or between two partners of the same gender (and my apologies to any trans people out there; I'm not implying anything, merely stating what other people seem to think), or between two people of different races (look up when the last anti-miscegenation law was repealed in this country; it may surprise you), or between more than two people, or between two people who are in relationships with other people, or between two people of different faiths, or any number of other permutations.

I believe one necessary precondition for moral sex is that the participants are consenting (it isn't the only precondition, but it is the first and most important). I won't go into consent here too much (for instance, consent isn't something which is given once, but must be continually given), but consent is something that must be present in order for a sex act to be moral.  Anything without consent is rape. I don't care if you're married. I don't care if you've had sex a thousand times before. If you have sex with someone who isn't consenting for any reason, that's rape.  There are things which are immoral even with consent, such as cheating, but sex without consent can never be moral.

So this book is a chronicle of rape and abuse to me, and in many ways it affects me more because of that than because of any incest.  And that the sex was also incest affects me too, because it makes me sad that we live in a world where the only way people see incest is as rape, however justified that perception may be.

There are other aspects of the story (as presented by the review) that are troublesome as well. For one, her age. For another, the incest. But if she had been whatever legal age was for her situation and had her rapist been a total stranger, it still would have been rape and that still, for me, is the main issue.

As far as the age factor... it's complicated.  I am not interested in joining NAMbLA, but I think the way we talk about and treat pedophilia is broken in this country.  I could go on, but if you think talking about incest is difficult, try talking reasonably about pedophilia without offending someone.  Let me just say that I don't think all child-rapists are pedophiles: they're rapists and they've found the perfect power imbalance to allow them to rape.  There are plenty of pedophiles who never act on their attraction.  Power, abuse, and exploitation know no age restrictions.  And the fact that we can't talk about it because even talking about it seems like tacit support means that predators will continue to prey and we won't be able to figure out a solution.

And above all that a line-in-the-sand age of consent gives children no agency and ignores differences between people to the point where it's just a convenient fiction.  Because we attach so much baggage to sex, we view sexual activity as something which destroys innocence and so by drawing that line, we protect children.  But if we saw it as just another thing you do, and parents could make responsible decisions (which is asking a lot, I know), then perhaps children would grow up with the same permissions for sex as they have for crossing the street or staying out to a certain hour, determined by their individual readiness rather than a set rule.  This is not to say that children should be able to seek out older strangers whenever their parents think they're ready and make all the pedophiles of the world very happy, but it does mean that sex, like all other aspects of life, would be something you'd grow into.  I'm also not calling on all families to embrace incest.  Maybe sexual play could be just another form of play, with children of the same age experimenting sexually as they experiment with other things (and if you don't think this already happens without adults knowing about it, you are very wrong).  This will never happen, but it does have some historical precedent.  And education about sex and consent would go a long way toward making sure that children were safe, even without strict prohibitions.

Plenty of people view those parents who let their kids experiment with alcohol or drugs or other things with parental supervision as fools.  I don't think the argument that "they're going to do it anyway" is good enough.  Simply letting kids do things they were going to do anyway isn't education, it's enabling.  Which is why education is so important.  It's not enough to say, "Well, kids, you're going to drink behind my back anyway, so here's a fifth of gin and stay in the house please."  You've got to teach them that drinking an entire fifth of gin, whether or not your parents know about it, is not a good idea.  And you can't spring it on them suddenly.  In the same way, saying, "Well, I bet if I don't give you condoms and tell you and your friends to go up to your room and be safe while you fuck, you'll just go do it on the streetcorner without protection," isn't enough.  Do all the kids even want to fuck?  Do they have any idea what they're doing?  Do they know what condoms are beyond "things you ought to wear during sex?"  Do they understand consent beyond, "They said yes so I'm going to do whatever I want?"  Parental supervision isn't just making sure they have a safe place to do unsafe things.

And here, I think my parents wish they could have done better.  Because while we had a very good sexual education, we still did plenty of things behind their backs they wouldn't have approved of.  Because nothing is perfect.  I doubt very highly that there's any way to make sex perfect, any more than there's any way to make children or parents perfect.  I just think that there's a different way to do things which would make it better.  You may disagree and I'll listen.  It's just my opinion, and I don't claim the moral high ground other than to say that if you think consent isn't a precondition for moral sex, I'm going to have a very hard time with any of the conclusions you draw.

Can incest be anything other than rape? I would argue that it can. There certainly is a power dynamic involved which could give one the belief that parents and children having sex cannot be fully consensual under any circumstances, and I appreciate that and don't believe that people who hold that view are bad people.  For one thing, the way incest is typically portrayed in the popular consciousness only reinforces that belief.  For another, sex between people of different power levels (boss-subordinate for example) is troublesome precisely because consent is in question when the subordinate cannot give consent because they are in a power imbalance.  It's all very well to say that a lower-status individual can give informed consent, but can they?  And is the status of parent sufficient to create that imbalance?  These are difficult questions with no easy answers, and most of what is presented is cases where the high-power partner was in fact taking advantage of the power imbalance.

People have a visceral response to incest, and I acknowledge that. It's a taboo.  People have a similar response to underage (whatever age we're under) sex as well.  Both of these reactions are probably justified in society, and both are understandable.  And if the story includes both, as well as abuse, then it's hard not to have those reactions.

But for me, the most important part was the rape.  The author was repeatedly and systematically raped by a man, and those around her supported this by allowing it. Whether she was underage or his daughter matters less to me than that he abused and raped her.

More than that, I can't really say about the book.  But you're probably not here for a book review or a discussion of consent.

My father has never raped me.  By various legal definitions, he certainly has, and one could argue that I was of an age where I couldn't give informed consent, that I was groomed and thus never needed to be abused physically or forced, but that it was rape all the same because of consent issues.  But legal definitions are hard and fast (no, get your mind out of the gutter, we're being serious) precisely because they cannot allow for exceptions or they fail.  There's a reason why we have judges to determine the spirit of laws, both at the highest levels and the lowest.  There's a reason why trials are about more than determining guilt or innocence before the letter of the law.  We acknowledge that the letter of the law is absolute but cannot appropriately define the vastness of human experience.

You may believe that some things are in fact written in stone, no leeway, no allowances, 100% right or wrong.  If so, I would agree, although we'd probably disagree about what those things are.  And being so close to the case, as it were, I'm not really in a good position to judge dispassionately, and so I'm probably not a good person to decide.

But I have been raped by a man other than my father.  And I have said no to my father, and my sisters, and my brother, and been respected.  Mari has, for years, said no to sex with both my father and my brother, albeit not in so many words.  She has withdrawn consent, and that has been respected.  My father has never used sex to punish me, and if he enjoys our sex life, I would hate to think he didn't.  I certainly enjoy it.  And I didn't stop enjoying it at a certain point, nor did I initially not enjoy it and later come around to enjoying it.  Am I a reliable witness?  No, of course not.  You could claim that my perceptions of the situation are colored by all sorts of things: I was pressured into it by my father's power over me; or I was abused but have repressed it in the same way that the author of this book clearly came to enjoy her abuse; or while I may now be able to give consent, I wasn't capable when I was younger and now the damage is done.  I know these arguments.  I live them.

At the end of the day, all I can say is that I was raised in a very sex-positive way, which happened to include incest, but I think I would have turned out similarly sex-positive had incest not occurred; I just would have had a lot of sex with non-family-members.  Is raising a child sex-positive wrong?  I don't think so, but that's my opinion.

Have I turned out messed up?  Do I have an unhealthy relationship with sex?  What is an unhealthy relationship with sex?  I know that I don't have the same relationship with sex that most people have, but I know plenty of people who are as sex-positive as I am, if not more so, and they weren't abused as children and came to it later in life.  But many people who police the morals of sex would lump us all into the same group, and maybe they're right.  Maybe sex really should be a horrible, shameful thing that we only do for procreation and no one enjoys.  I don't think so, and thus I don't think my attitude toward sex is immoral or unhealthy.

I am not a healthy person.  I am not a paragon of perfection.  If you expect that from anyone who holds different ideas about morality, you'll be waiting a long time.  But I have introspected and thought and examined and I can't find anything wrong with my upbringing in general.  Things happened when I was a kid which I acknowledge are probably not good things, and I've made plenty of bad decisions, but does that invalidate my childhood completely?  I would argue no.

So, to return to the beginning, I feel sorry for this woman because she was raped by someone who should have loved her.  I feel that way about people who are raped by anyone they trusted or should have been able to trust.  And I feel sorry for her because if she had lived in a different world, maybe her father wouldn't have needed to rape her to get his jollies.  Maybe he would have, because unfortunately there are people in the world who don't need to transgress taboos to take advantage of power.  Many rapists don't want willing sex partners.  They want to have control.  And there are  healthy ways of expressing that desire which are shut off for most people (D/s for one), but even with those available, there are still people who can't have any limits on power.  There are people who never physically abuse anyone who still abuse their power and cause damage because they can and they enjoy it.  Power, abuse, and exploitation don't desire permission.

As I said, I have been raped.  It didn't affect me in the same way it affects some people because I don't have the same relationship with sex as many people.  But it was still rape, and it still hurt (not really physically, but definitely mentally).  And I have never felt that hurt with my family, not even at the worst of times, not even when we've been angry at each other (which, by the way, never involved sex; my family are passionate people and we yell a lot, but sex has never been about anger or power).  And while I could be lying to you and myself, I don't believe I am.  And at the end of the day, that's all I've got.  I know a lot about myself, I know my flaws and broken places, and my family is not one of them.  I don't know what else to say other than that.

That got long and wasn't sexy and probably pissed some people off, but you asked.

You Might Not Be Looking At Amateur Porn If...

I was going to make a flow chart, but it would have been huge and unwieldy.  Instead, in the style of Jeff Foxworthy, I'm going to make a list.  Just because one of these things is true doesn't make it professional porn, but the more of them that are true, the less likely you're looking at a unicorn and the more likely it was professionally produced.  I've got absolutely nothing against professional porn either; I just find it amusing when they play amateur.

You might not be looking at amateur porn if...

...they're having sex on the beach in broad daylight.
...they're having sex on the beach at night.
...everyone looks like they could be on some CW show.
...the pubes are shaved.  All of them.  Not a hairy ballsack in sight.
...the lighting is Golden-Hour quality.
...there's not a single pimple on anyone's ass.
...they go right to anal with no lube.
...it's a picture series, starting with an artful strip-tease in front of a neutral backdrop.
...you can see genitals more often than not.
...it's a handheld camera but the angles are all beautiful.
...the depth of field puts objects in the foreground into a soft blur, but the pussy is always in focus.
...her asshole looks perfect.  So does his.
...there's a timestamp on the photo but it's for a date which doesn't actually exist.
...there's a timestamp on the photo but it doesn't stay in the same place from photo to photo.
...no one is ever making a stupid face when the camera is pointed at them.
...they're in a house nicer than you've ever been in.
...they're in a hotel bedroom.
...they're in a dorm room and there are more than two of them.
...the furniture is straight from Better Homes and Gardens.  Literally.  No one has ever used this furniture before.
...they're fucking on a pool table.
...the woman looks 18 but her boobs are giant and fake.
...the high heels stay on throughout.
...there's nothing with a brand name on it except for adult brands.
...no one laughs, ever.
...everyone is constantly laughing/cheering.
...there are spectators who don't get naked, join in, or do anything but look slightly uncomfortable.
...they make a big point of saying over and over that she's his step-daughter.
...they actually fuck in the pool, rather than by the side of the pool.
...lighting or camera equipment is ever visible.
...you never, ever see the camera in mirrors.
...people are wearing balaclavas and Halloween masks.
...there is no queefing, even after vigorous, lengthy pounding.
...her makeup never smears, runs, or rubs off on furniture or bedding.
...they're doing watersports outside the bathroom.
...they're doing watersports on that Better Homes and Gardens furniture.
...she shows the camera the cum on her tongue before she swallows.
...the costumes look like they were borrowed from a movie set.
...they're doing watersports while still wearing those costumes.
...the man/men is/are old enough to be the woman's father.
...anyone loudly announces that they're cumming, but it takes them more than a second after the announcement to do so.
...no one sweats.
...there are cuts between camera angles but the action seems continuous.
...they're having sex in a public area and people are walking by.
...it's a cuckolding scene but someone other than the husband and the two partners is filming it.
...there are tribal tattoos on all the guys and they all look like they live in the gym.
...it's an interracial gangbang and all the black guys are hung like horses.
...it's in a basement but somehow they're getting dolly shots.
...they're posing/fucking in front of some spectacular vista.
...it's from Russia or Eastern Europe.
...it's supposed to be in a school.  Seriously, it's never really a school.
...the bondage gear costs more than your car.

Tight Like Prom Night

Another mini-episode.  Please ask questions.  Or something.  I don't know.  Is anyone even reading this?

This isn't a question, but rather a conversation I had with a friend made me ponder vaginal tightness.

As a lady interested in other ladies (as well as gentlemen, but that's beside the point) I get my hands on a fair number of lady parts.  I would like to stress, for the benefit of anyone who might see this while I'm running for political office (yeah, right) that this is entirely consensual (and that's all you'll hear from me about politics).

But I know there's been a fascination among men about "tightness" which has probably been going on for as long as there were virgins but which has been coming to the forefront lately, probably because of porn and unrealistic depictions of sex and women in mainstream culture.  If it's not "thigh-gap" it's "tight pussy."

Now, I don't possess a cock, so I can't speak for that, but as far as I'm concerned, while there is a bit of a thrill which comes from sliding a finger or two into a nice tight pussy, for the most part, in my interactions with the vagina, tightness doesn't really make much of a difference.

I think that most of what people mistake for "tightness" is actually "lack of foreplay."  Guys, if your lady is so tight that it takes force to penetrate her, you're hurting her and you're doing sex wrong.  A pussy should be able to accommodate a gamut of penises from the small to the large without much effort, provided they've been warmed up first.  The vagina is elastic, and most of them, when they're not prepared, are too tight.  Too tight isn't sexy, it's unpleasant.

Or if you'd like to look at it another way, if a lady is "too tight" for your monster hog, that's like trying to stick a pencil up your urethra.  Sounding might feel great, but you don't want it to be "too tight."

I imagine it stems from both a desire for the virginal and from a desire to think that your cock is massive.  Guess what?  Virgins aren't any tighter than anyone else.  Being a slut doesn't stretch your pussy out.  "Too tight," is just "unprepared," which many virgins are because first times tend to be nervous, speedy, rough, or all three.  They absolutely do not have to be.  First times can be wonderful.  Mine was, but that's because it was loving, slow, and while there were some nerves, there was plenty of prep.

Now, for the ladies, "too tight" isn't pleasant.  Taking something which is too big, I mean really too big, not just big enough to make you think, "Wow, that's going to be pretty big," is painful.  And the thing is, if everything's always "too tight" even with plenty of gentle, loving prep (read: he ate you out for an hour, you used a bucket of lube, and still he's not able to work his way in), that's a medical issue.  So aspiring to "tightness" isn't necessarily a thing one should do.

That said, some people want to tighten things up a little.  Not "too tight" but just maybe a little.  And that's fine.  But the more I read, the more I become convinced that there's very little you can do.  Sure, you can do your kegels and so forth, but abstaining from sex isn't going to make you tighter.  And most women don't need to be tighter.  Pussies are all different and they're all wonderful, and if you've got a guy who's complaining that you're not tight enough, chances are he might not be the guy for you.  I understand that childbirth can affect things, but sex will not make you loose and flappy.

Arousal makes the lady parts more elastic (it has to because the lady parts are pretty shallow and tight without it) but it also makes them swell up, so proper foreplay can help make things more pleasant for everyone.  And kegels... well, doctors now seem to be on the fence about them, but even if you do them, it's not going to make your pussy shrink.  You don't want it to.

Enough of a PSA, I think.

I have had "tight" and "not so tight" but I've never had "pencil down a well."  I don't have the requisite pencil, so maybe that's just me.  Ladies, if your man is complaining about tightness and being a jerk about it, find yourself a nice lady friend because she's unlikely to care.  I certainly don't.  And "tight" doesn't necessarily mean capacity either.  I've been with women who were quite snug, but who could take a baseball bat.  Just not first thing in the morning with no foreplay and no lube.  Everyone's tight without prep.  Guys, try jamming something up your ass without lube and see how tight that is.

Sorry, that was nasty.  I'm sure there are exceptions and that not all guys and so forth.  Just please, foreplay.  Foreplay.  Foreplay.

Swallowing

I've got a few mini episodes I'm going to post over the next couple of days because I've got to keep posting.  I'm sorry they're short.  And they're just Q&A.  But please ask questions because I need to have writing prompts.  You can comment (I read them all even if I don't say anything back), or email me at lexinaughtygirly[AT]gmail, or hit me on Twitter.  Or if you've got another suggestion for platforms where you can AMA, while I don't think reddit is a possibility, please let me know.  Anyway, on with the show.

Here's one I get in various forms.

"Lexi, do you always swallow?  Like, always?  Really always?  You say 'good girls swallow' but is that fair?  Aren't you judging people who don't like the taste?"

First off, I'm not judging.  Okay, I am, but I shouldn't, because while I think it's the bee's knees, semen isn't for everyone.  I've met plenty of women who don't like it or can't do it for whatever reason.

However, if you don't like the taste, my suggestion is to keep it out of your mouth entirely.  I know, he wants to nut on your tongue, but gently tell him that there are plenty of other sexy things he can do with his seed.  If you're going to wind up with it in your mouth, spitting it out isn't going to stop you from having to taste it.  Just don't wind up with it in your mouth.  That, at any rate, would be my suggestion.  I know there are women who aren't put off by the taste but get squicked by swallowing or who get indigestion when they swallow, and to them I say, "Sorry, you can still be a good girl and I'll try not to be judgmental about it in future."  Except I'll probably say, "Good girls swallow," without thinking about it.

Second, I don't always swallow.

Cue aghast looks from my audience, who now think I'm a horrible liar and hypocrite.

I usually swallow.  I enjoy the taste (it is a slightly acquired taste, I'll admit, but I acquired it early).  Of course, I confess that I prefer other things than swallowing a load.  But if it's not going to be in my pussy or in my ass, I like it in my mouth.

That said, there have been a few times, maybe more than a few, where something wasn't right, biologically, or something.  I've been with a few guys where once or twice their cum tasted absolutely foul.  Supposedly diet can affect it, but I've also seen things which say that's not true, and I can't point to a culprit.  A few times I've been drunk and feeling a little queasy and it wasn't them, it was just my taste buds being fucked up.  But sometimes it just doesn't taste good.

Sometimes I swallow anyway, because hell, it's in my mouth already and as I said spitting isn't going to wash away the taste.  At least not for me.  I've had to go get something to drink after (not necessarily alcoholic, although that's happened too) to wash out the taste.  But sometimes the taste is so off-putting that I either spit without really thinking or I can't stand the thought of swallowing something that tastes that bad, so I don't.

I've been with a couple of guys who were always terrible tasting.  Without fail.  That's got to be personal chemistries not meshing or something.  I've been with a few guys who, no matter how clean they were, always smelled bad to me too.  Just a few: smell is a turn-off for me, not BO but smelling bad.  No pattern there either, but it happens.

When I was giving a lot of blowjobs to the exclusion of other activities (read: high school and college) I usually didn't make a scientific study of it, so I don't know whether a lot of those were always bad or just on that occasion.  If it's going to go further than head and he tastes bad enough I have to worry about it, some other option is on the table and most guys don't complain if you tell them to cum inside you rather than cumming in your mouth.

So no, I don't always swallow.  I make it a habit, but sometimes it's just not happening.  And I think at this point I've had more cum inside me and on me than in my mouth, although there was certainly a time in my life where that wasn't true, at least per capita (by volume I don't know, because I got a lot of semen from a few guys in my early years.

Poll

I've got this one going on Twitter too, but if you're not on Twitter or are lazy, feel free to answer here.

For the gentlemen: before you saw your first naked woman and found out the reality of the situation, where did you believe the vagina was located?

1) Exactly where it wound up being located
2) Higher on the belly than it actually is
3) Where the asshole actually is
4) Some other location

I ask because I read an article by a man saying that he spent his youth thinking the pussy was somewhere else, but he didn't specify.  I'm just curious what the kids these days think.  Also, ladies, if you happen to be able to answer this informal poll with a response other than, "Duh, I could look at my own," please chime in.  I'm genuinely curious where people think the pussy actually is.  There's no right or wrong answer, and I know you all know where it is now.  We're talking young and dumb.

If you answer on Twitter or here, give specifics.  I'm not going to shame you, I promise.  I was young and dumb too.

Golden Entry

Peter asks: "I believe you have talked about Golden Showers before but have you ever had anyone pee inside of you?"

Well, I talked about it a long time ago: http://lex-ploits.blogspot.com/2007/03/things-dad-wont-do-too.html

I was initially wary about "Golden" enemas or douches, but I got to really enjoying them after I tried them. That said, they're hard to pull off. I've only been with a few guys who could piss even semi-hard. I'd love to find a guy who could piss while truly erect because then he could be inside me and piss, but the pissing-in-pussy experiences I've had have all been from the outside, or right at the opening with just the tip awkwardly inside. I think biology is against me there though; the penis isn't supposed to be able to produce urine and semen at the same time, so the bladder gets cut off at a certain point no matter how much we both might want it to be different.

I was watching some porn the other day where they used a pair of salad tongs to hold the woman's pussy open so the guy could piss into it. I'd try that if I could find someone up for it. But it's just something which is harder to arrange and it can get awkward rather than sexy. I've talked about doing it on the blog, but I may make it sound easier than it actually is, so take me with a grain of salt there. And for all the times I've done it (which aren't that many) there have been many more times when it just wouldn't work.

The feeling is incredible when it works out though.  It can't be a "beginning of the evening" thing.  I've got to get fucked some first to open me up, otherwise all you're doing is pissing on my pussy. But when it does work out, it feels wonderful.

That said, I can duplicate the feeling with a hand shower attachment and a dildo.  I'd love to get a dildo which has a tube inside it which could be hooked up to water. But aside from the taboo turn-on, warm water and piss aren't different in feel and warm water is easier to arrange and clean up.  Plus the shower head sprays a lot more volume so it works all sorts of different areas.

And all that said, just having a guy piss on my pussy is a lot of fun too, and easier to work out logistically, so that's the majority of my experience.

Amen to That

I don't often repost articles, but this one caught my eye.

The Secret to a Good Date: Have Sex First

Read it.  It's worth reading.

Now, in fairness to the article, her point is that, if the date is going to lead to sex, you should have the sex then go on the date.  Which is totally true.  Who wants to fuck after a meal and dancing, or whatever you do on a date?  I mean, I'm fine with after, but the sex will be better if you eat after.  And then hey, have sex again after.

But she is mostly talking about going on a date with someone with whom you've already had sex, or at least it's not the first date.  And I'm behind her 100%.

But why stop there?  I think the ideal first date is sex.  What better way to figure out if there's anything worth pursuing?  Sure, you want to have the date part too, but why beat around the bush (pun unintended but welcomed)?

I fully support a Utopia where people meet up to have sex, then decide if they want to bother going on a date.  Plenty of my long-term romantic partners have started that way for me.  I wasn't necessarily planning it that way, but I've fucked first and asked questions later on numerous occasions.

And sometimes it doesn't work out.  Sometimes the sex is terrible.  Also, sometimes they don't want to start with sex, and that still tells me something about them.  I'm not saying that there's no place for "traditional" dating at all, just that maybe there ought to be a place for sex as a date.  Nor am I saying that I reject people who don't fuck immediately out of the gate, or that I won't give a second chance to someone who is bad at first-thing sex.  There are nerves.  It's like an audition.  The first time you have sex with someone really shouldn't be the best time, if you're planning on making a longer-term thing of it.

I do find that it cuts through a lot of the pretense and crap and gets right to the heart of the matter.  Are they patient?  Are they generous?  If they suck, is it because they're terrible, or because they're nervous because they really do want to be good for you?  Lots of things.  If polite small talk is our gold standard for finding out about someone, we need a new gold standard.  You can't really fake sex in the same way.

That said, there are plenty of other things in a relationship besides sex.  And despite what you might think, I don't put sex on a pedestal at all.  I think sex is just another fun part of human interaction, which is why I don't attach much significance to it.  Some of my best friends aren't very sexual, or aren't great lovers, or aren't quick into the sack.  But the people I get along with best are at least open about sex, even if it's being open about their lack of interest in it.  I don't really play video games or sports.  I don't knock those who do.  So if sex isn't your thing, we can still be friends, no biggie.

Plus, skipping first date bullshit and going right to the sex has the added advantage of skipping first date bullshit.  Plus, sex!  No more worrying through the entire date if you're going to get some.  You already did.

Anyway, I think the article is a fun read, if perhaps not a terribly deep read.  It's not philosophy or politics.  It's just sex.  Go get some.

Orgasms and Edging

So as I'm sure probably most of the audience knows, there's a thing guys do called edging, where you work yourself to the point of orgasm without going over, then let things settle, then do it again, as long as you have time or can stand it. Seems like something one typically does as part of masturbation, although that's just the typical, not the requirement.

I have some experience with guys who've tried it. If you're a speed shooter, it can prolong the inevitable, and on the other hand if you have a hard time going more than once it can lengthen the experience. It's harder to pull off while fucking just because it means a certain amount of down time, but when Mike and I have done it he's found other ways to pass the time between that are plenty of fun for me.

I remember we once spent a few hours on vacation when it was raining and we were stuck in the hotel room. He actually started first, but after the first time, when I noticed he was jerking off on his bed while i read watching cable, I told him not to waste it, and he said he wasn't and explained.

So I pretty much did everything I could to ruin it at first. I tried to suck it and he ran away, and that devolved into us chasing each other around the room naked, which, shockingly, is a good way to lose a hard-on. Finally he let me suck it back to life and then some, but he pushed me away as he got closer.

So I bet him he wouldn't be able to last one more time. I can't remember what we bet, but it was probably a mistake on my part if I wanted him to lose, because he got determined and not only lasted through another, but managed two more before he said, "Okay, want to see what it did?"

I would also like to admit that throughout, I was slinking around like a sexpot trying to tempt him, to the point that I was getting right in his face with my ass, then spreading my pussy and spanking myself.  It got me incredibly horny, and when he finally said he wanted to fuck, I came as soon as he put it inside me. Which was probably for the best, because he lasted less than a minute and then came hard.

There was a lot of it, but it was thin and watery. And that's been my experience with guys who have been teased for a long time or who have edged. The spunk volume goes up but the thickness goes down. Not that that's necessarily a bad thing. Volume and power of a cumshot in the pussy can feel wonderful. If you're ever in a cumshot distance competition for your soul with the devil or something, I'd recommend some edging to warm up.

The best thing I've found is to get the guy off once first, then do some edging the second time because the pressure is off, so to speak. Second cumshots, particularly shortly after, can be a little less impressive, and some edging can make up for that. But that's not always in the cards.

I'm not a guy, so I can't judge how much more intense the orgasm feels for them. Some guys swear by it. Others don't. Anyone who wants to chime in, I'm happy to gather data. For myself, if a guy's not going to be a two-pump Johnny, and if he's capable of getting it up again in a session, most of the time I'd rather get him off twice than spend the same amount of time getting him off once. But sometimes it can be fun.

But that's not why I started this post. See, edging has always seemed like the province of gentlemen rather than ladies. For a lot of ladies, the orgasm isn't something you have to put off. Also, I think plenty of ladies do it but either not intentionally or without calling it edging. Either they make an evening of it with themselves or they've got a partner who has to work at getting them off and there are breaks for his pleasure, or something else.

But recently Sveta and I have been trying it deliberately. It's s not different for me though. For me, what we've been doing is getting me to the point where it hurts, then I get used to the feeling, then we work a little further. It's not stopping and starting, it's more a progression from light to heavy, with me getting used to it as we go.

It takes a while, so we don't do it every day or every time, and I've been getting stoned for it because that helps too. But I've been able to at least over some of my mental hangups about orgasms, which is why I've been having more of them. They still hurt, but they scratch the itch wonderfully, which helps keep me sane. And it's something I can do by myself too. Sometimes I'll get myself to a place where I'm ready and then Sveta will finish me off. Sometimes it's just me and a toy and some porn.

I won't say it makes the orgasms more intense. It does, but that's not because of the edging as much as it is that I'm able to get more aroused without it breaking me out of it with the pain, and I'm able to let myself go more fully.

Maybe it's not really edging. Maybe it's just practice. But it's helping and it was an excuse to tell some stories.

Typically we actually start out with anal play. I'll get a plug in and warm up for a while. Only when I'm dripping wet and feeling good will anything happen with my pussy. Then light pussy manhandling,  without any penetration or clit play. Then maybe a finger, slowly, then some clit action, then we see where it goes.

Still no multiples, and after the orgasm I have to stop, but that just means I can go after Sveta. And I don't want to edge her. I want to make her cum as hard as possible, so that may require some buildup, but I go after her with a vengeance. A reward for her efforts.

Sveta Update

I haven't been taking about Sveta as much. The reason is because... well, it's because things between us are going just fine, but there's rarely anything interesting to report. I offered to let her write something, but she said if she wanted to write a blog she'd write one of her own. But I do feel like she's become a supporting cast member rather than my favorite lady in the world, so to remedy that I'm going to devote a post to her.

Sorry if more of the same bores you. That "more of the same" is stories about a smoking hot girl should help. Also, not sorry if you're jealous I get to live with and constantly fool around with a smoking hot girl. Deal with it.

Sveta is doing just fine. She has a job which is okay and she doesn't hate. It's not a lot of money, but money isn't everything.

Her family... well, that's a long story and the short version is that she does get some support from her father, but her step-mother is still a bitch.

She's still working on getting her own tail more regularly. She's never picked up a girl herself. She says she still gets nervous about that. No problem. Not everyone is a seductress. But she has managed quite a few guys on her own. I told her she's welcome to bring them home and I'll stay out of the way, but she usually goes over to their places.

Just last week, she bagged a very cute guy. At least he looked cute from the pictures she sent me. I also told her that she was under no obligation to tell her prospective flings about me, but she usually does. It rarely hurts her chances. She sends me texts and pictures in flagrante all the time, which I love. This guy was older, graying hair, but pretty built, which I know because she sent me a picture of him taken from between her legs while he fucked her. She said he wasn't interested in anal, but hey, not everyone is. He did manage to make her cum twice, once with a nice round of fucking, and then again while they were waiting for him to be ready again with his tongue and fingers. He wanted to get a close-up of her orgasm and wasn't disappointed. Then he rolled her over and fucked her lying on her stomach, then on top of him, then spooning until he came.

Before that, she had a semi-regular thing with a guy about her age who's friends with me, so I knew he'd be good to her. We actually shared him once or twice, although it was really more like he and I were sharing her. I did get fucked, but in passing, and I directed him back to her after a few minutes. No point in wasting it on me.

They stopped it after a while because they both agreed that the relationship wasn't really what he wanted. It was totally amicable and she told him that he had a standing offer for meaningless sex whenever he wanted, but he got involved with another woman and that got serious. We're happy for him, even if we might occasionally miss the sex. He wasn't shabby and could get it up repeatedly. I know she misses him more than I do. Not great with his tongue but he could fuck her until she couldn't see straight.

And of course there's my Dad. We visit whenever possible, and he's always happy for Sveta to rock his world.

And then there's us.

Sveta is a trooper and she's helped me more than I can enumerate with my medical issues. She's very patient with me when I'm not feeling sexy, shoulder to cry in and so forth. But she's also eagerly trying to help me work through the issues by making love as often as possible at the drop of a hat. I think Sveta's coming to accept that I really do enjoy making her happy in bed even if I can't cum, so she's been reaping plenty of rewards.

As I've mentioned, ever since Liam she's been really into rimming, and if I'm not as into it as her, I love eating her ass because she gets so into it. Mostly I'll be going down on her and just move lower after I've tasted her pussy to my satisfaction, licking down over the base of her pussy and then tonguing her asshole. She tastes musky, but not entirely unpleasant. Not as nice as her pussy, which as you know is the sweetest little pink hole in captivity, but I can get into it.

I'm still hesitant about sticking my tongue in her asshole, which she actually finds funny. "You're not supposed to be scared of anything in sex," she'll tease me. "Now get in there and stick your tongue up my butt or I'll tie you up and make you." She's goofy. My goofy, beautiful girl.

And yes, she still gushes. I won't say squirts because it's not really a squirt, just a giant upwelling of juice. But if I really work at it my face gets soaked. We change the sheets a lot.

She's looking forward to our next play date with Liam and Kate, as well as meeting Zoe, and those are both things that are definitely going to happen.

Anyway, while she's not going to write a blog post for me, I will ask her any questions you have. I can't promise any answers, but I'll ask.

Wetting My Panties

I think I've talked about this before, but I'm going to talk about it again.

I love panties.  Bra and panty sets, certainly, but I love me some panties.  Where other women have shoes, I have panties.  I own way, way too many, some of which I never use.  For someone who spends a fair amount of her time not wearing panties for various reasons, I certainly own enough of them.

I know a lot of guys like thongs, and a lot of gals too.  Me, I've never really cared for them.  They have their place in the pantheon of panties, but for the most part I don't think I look that good in them.  I prefer bikini cut.  But there is a place for thongs, and that's when I really feel like having my panties pulled aside and a cock stuck in there.  I can do that with any set of panties, but the thong really lends itself to that approach.

I've gone out with a few guys who liked me in thongs, so I do own some.  And there is something enticing about seeing a thong above a girl's waistline, I'll admit.  I know people think it's trashy or slutty, but it turns my crank.

I dated a guy who might have been more into panties than I was for a while.  He wasn't a specialist; he liked all kinds.  When he was feeling dominant and I was going submissive, I'd pull out panties I got from the childrens' section of the store (well, Junior Misses probably, or whatever they're calling it these days).  I don't have many of those pairs left because they all got "ruined" in the act, and he kept some.  I'm not judging.  If I'd fucked me wearing them, I would have wanted a souvenir too.

But he liked to do the really rough stuff with thongs.  We weren't doing any hardcore BDSM or anything, but if I wore a thong it invariably wound up being ripped off me.

That's not what I'm here to talk about.  I got off track.

He also liked watersports.  It was a control thing for him.  He was never the submissive.  Had I been looking for a life-partner, I don't know that I would have tried to make it work, but I wasn't and at that point in my life I was feeling submissive.  So I never pissed on him, but I got a lot of piss on me in various ways.

Some of it was pretty standard stuff.  He'd strip me naked, take me to the bathroom, and make me pee so he could watch.  Sometimes it was just squatting in the tub and peeing, and then he'd stick his cock in my mouth and we'd go from there.  Sometimes he wanted me to get in awkward positions so I would pee all over myself.  Sometimes he had a glass and I'd piss in that and drink it.

He also liked to use me as his urinal.  I'd lean my head back over the toilet and he'd pee on my face.  In my mouth, my face, my hair, whatever.  Or he'd put his cock in my mouth and make me drink straight from the tap until he was empty and could get hard and get sucked.

But, and this is where the panties come back in, he also liked me to piss myself.  That's where some of the little girl panties got ruined.  Not that you can't wash out piss, but after a while, and frenetic activities that followed, they weren't much use any more.

We never did diapers, for which I'm grateful because I don't find them sexy either.  Uncomfortable.  I never wear pads, so diapers are just that turned up to 11.  But whenever the mood struck us (more him, but I wasn't being forced by any means) I'd pop on a pair of panties and stand in the tub and wet them but good.

And the thing is, it's sexy to me.  It's weirdly sexy to just let go and wet your panties.  Lord knows I wet my panties with pussy juice often enough (another thing which necessitates replacing them at intervals).  Rather than just a stream, it's like an upwelling which spreads warmth over my crotch and trickles down my legs.

Then he started wanting me to do it in public.  It started just outdoors.  We'd go for a walk somewhere secluded, me wearing a skirt, and at first he just wanted me to hike that up and pee for him.  Then he asked if I would wet myself.  We brought some things to clean up with and went to our usual spot.  I wore a nice short skirt and hoped I wouldn't wet that too.  It was a little hard to relax, honestly, because I didn't want to get piss all over my skirt.  But eventually, with some coaxing, I did it.  So that became the go-to thing whenever he wanted to see me wet my panties.  We'd clean up a little, I'd ditch my soiled underthings in a plastic bag, and on we'd go.  Or we'd fuck.  Whatever.  It was a little risky and thrilling and I enjoyed myself once I got past the nerves.

Then he wanted me to do it in pants.  He said he wanted to see the wetness spreading.  So I just brought a skirt to change into.  That was an easier thing to get into; I was already doing it, so what difference did it make if I wet my pants too?  He liked that a lot, liked it even more when I peeled the soiled things off and was naked from the waist down, liked that so much that I didn't get to put my skirt on for a while because he bent me over and fucked me hard without me cleaning up at all.

Then he wanted all that, but in actual public.  I don't want this to seem like it was a one-way street; I got plenty from him too.  This was just his thing he wanted to do.  I wasn't sure.  But frankly, it sounded like it might be sexy fun.  So I wore dark pants (that's key if you don't want it to be super-obvious) and we went out walking in more traveled areas, and at a certain point, not in a crowd but with people around, he whispered to me, "Do it now, baby.  Pee your pants like a dirty girl."

It would tough working up the nerve.  I'm no stranger to risky sex or to strange sexual things, and I still had a tough time letting go.  But finally a dribble became a trickle became a stream.  I had stored up more than I bargained for and I couldn't stop the waterworks in time, and I wound up quite wet, and while it wasn't obvious at a glance, it wasn't exactly hidden either.  I had a huge wet spot over my cunt and ass and it extended down my legs.

And we walked around like that for a few minutes, with him surreptitiously putting his hand on my ass to feel the wetness whenever people weren't looking.  But it turned both our cranks hard, and we didn't last long before we both looked at each other and said, almost at the same time, "We need to get somewhere so we can fuck."  We didn't make it back home; we wound up, if I recall, in a copse of trees which probably didn't hide as much as we would have liked.  But my god the sex was hot.  The risk and adrenaline and wetness and wrongness of it all had me cumming like a freight train, and he spent a huge load inside me which joined the piss in my panties as we walked home.  I think I was probably walking funny, but no one said anything.

And at home (I say home; it was his place and I wasn't living there) clothes all were ripped off and we fucked again, rough and sweaty, right inside the door.  Then he took me to the bathroom, pulled my pants back up, and told me to finish the job, so I released and got even wetter, to which he added his own stream, and pretty soon I was pretty much soaked all over.  And as soon as he finished pissing all over me, he bent me over the edge of the tub and fucked me raw.  Hot hot hot.  And then he had more, so he just pissed all over my ass and then almost immediately, as I was still getting my breath back, was back inside me again.  Super hot.

I drew the line there.  He wanted other things, even further down the line, but I wasn't willing to wet myself in a crowd or in the library or any of the other places he suggested.  I think that sex might have been the apex of our relationship.  I didn't intend it to be, but I was also getting a bit bored with him.  I'm not particularly proud of that, but in my youth I was a sucker for novelty, and dating him, while it was never totally monogamous, cramped my style.  He wasn't open to having an MMF threesome, although we'd had several with another girl, and I really wanted some DP so we sort of drifted apart. It didn't happen all at once; we kept it up for a while, and the piss play continued to be hot, but eventually we both said, "I guess we need to see other people to get our needs met," and went our separate ways.  For a few months after that, if either of us were feeling particularly feisty, booty calls would be made, but I had already found someone else who was more inclined to my tastes.

We did stay in touch for a while.  He found a super-submissive girl who would do pretty much whatever he wanted.  I was happy for him.  I've never been a very good sub; I can play the part for a bit, but I chafe under a leash.  I remember the last time we met up, not knowing it would be the last time.  He wanted to piss down my throat.  That was the last time I remember choking on a cock, really choking.  He held the back of my head and I got his cock, not really hard but grown enough, into my mouth and down, and he let go and I just about threw up.  It wasn't unpleasant, but it kicked in my gag reflex.  He wouldn't let me up and I thought I was going to spew piss out of my nose and possibly eyes.  Not something I'm in a hurry to try again.  Golden enema or douche, absolutely, if I can find a rara avis who can piss hard.  But golden throat?  It kind of turned me off to watersports for a while, because the urine taste got mixed with bile and was just unpleasant.

I'm saying all this because Sveta and I have been experimenting with a little watersports ourselves.  It's been a while since I've done it, and Sveta has never, but we saw some piss porn the other day and both were turned on, so we talked about it and decided to give it a go.  Right now, we're just doing some peeing while mutual masturbation is going on, but Sveta insists she wants to taste it while she's eating me out, so it's only a matter of time.

Basically, I'm the luckiest woman in the world.  But that wouldn't make for much of a blog post, would it?

Two Ladies

Shout out to Cabaret!

Okay, so having covered some thoughts on MMF threesomes, let's dive into another sort.  I don't have any experience with MMM threesomes (although I'd be happy to learn, not sure how other than watching one) and I've talked about FFF threesomes in the recent past.  So before I move on to larger groups (if I do; requests welcome) I'll tackle every guy's favorite situation.

Only it isn't.  I've talked with numerous guys for whom it wasn't a huge turn-on, either because they didn't want to share, because they weren't into it for whatever reason, or because they were worried about satisfying two girls.

Let's address those.  Firstly, if you're not okay with sharing, that's totally fine.  Whether you're sharing your partner with another man or another woman, some people can't do it.  And that's totally okay.  This is a no judgment zone.

Secondly, if you're worried about satisfying two girls at the same time.... that's probably a decent worry.  In a lot of FFM threesomes, it's on the guy to do the heavy lifting.  And I'm afraid that guys have some disadvantages there.  I can happily fuck two or more guys to completion, but a guy has only so many orgasms to give out.  So if your partners are both looking for you to cum for them, that can be difficult.

The way around that is to give the ladies what they want in other ways.  If foreplay is important when it's just a guy and his lady friend, then it's more than doubly important when there are two armies at the gates, as it were.  I've been with guys who only came once the entire threesome, but they got me and my lady partner off multiple times.  Sure, it's nice to get two, but I wasn't complaining.

But as I did with the previous post, let's just run down some of the computations.  First off, there's the fantasy: "I just want to watch you two fuck each other, then maybe, if I'm lucky, get to join in."  Lesbians or girls who express any tendency toward being down with another lady hear that all the fucking time.  Usually it's just watching.

And you know what?  It doesn't have to be creepy.  If all three of us are willing, I've got no problem with the guy wanting to enjoy the two ladies pleasuring each other.  Don't be a dick about it.  Don't ask people who are not into you to let you watch.  But if all parties are inclined, I've cheerfully let a guy watch me and a special lady friend in our amorous embraces and been totally fine with that.  It can be a turn-on.  Situations vary; I've had very few good times that way just being out with a girl and meeting a guy who wants to watch.  But if, say, that girl is your sister and you want to watch me fuck her brains out but aren't yet enlightened enough to join in, no big deal.  I get off on that, and you and she probably do too.

If you and your lady friend are looking for a partner for her to experiment with, hey, I'm down with that as well.  If you want to watch, I can totally see why.  I've been with women who were with their boyfriends (or husbands, on a few occasions) when we met, but after the negotiations were concluded, the man left and let us get to business.  On at least a few of those occasions, the lady would go back and tell the man all about it, so it was a bit of a cuckolding situation.  Sometimes it was something she was into, he wasn't really, but he was being supportive.  I get off a little on being with someone else's partner (because I'm a freak) so I was fine with that.

More frequently, if it's that kind of setup, we all three go back to whatever place we go back to, and the guy watches us.  It's like a performance, sometimes.  That can be trouble if the lady is shy.  I was with one couple where it became clear, after a while, that the guy was making the girl do this.  It wasn't that she wasn't into me, just that he was definitely calling the shots.  He started ordering her around, telling her to do various things.  Not terribly sexy if it hasn't been cleared with everyone beforehand.  Kate and her husband can get like that sometimes.  I know what to expect there, but unexpected long-distance domination of the partner I'm trying to get off is a turn-off for me.

But most of the time, it's just fine.  Sometimes the guy just watches.  Sometimes he pulls out his dick and masturbates.  I don't usually pay much attention after a point.  But sometimes, if the guy gets naked and is moving closer, I'll encourage him to join in.  And that's when we get the fun stuff.

Between committed partners, I've been basically a sex toy.  I remember one married couple, the guy much older than me, the woman probably older by a few years, where the deal was that the wife and I would get to play as much as we wanted, but he only fucked her.  I support boundaries, but lines get blurred, and I did wind up cleaning him off and getting him hard again, and he came in my mouth the second time.  But nothing in the pussy.  That was the deal.  I can work around that.

I've also been with a couple where it was the opposite: he could fuck me all the way, but she wasn't interested in anything but watching us and playing with him.  Again, lines got blurred and she did wind up sucking my tits while he fucked me, and she ate his cum off of my belly when he pulled out, but no kissing and I didn't really touch her.

I suppose I should have put in sooner that sometimes there's a "FFM" where it's the woman watching her man fuck me.  Fewer of those, but it happens sometimes.  I was with this very nice couple in college (well, I was in college and they were both on staff) where the woman was basically disinterested in sex, so she decided to let him have the sex he needed with other people, but she wanted to be there so it was like she was fucking him in spirit.  I remember they kissed a lot while he was inside me.  She stayed fully clothed and by his side the whole time.  You might think that was weird, but we had gotten to know each other beforehand.  It wasn't a random hookup.  I'd actually gotten to know her first, and we'd talked over drinks a few times about sex, and she finally asked me if I was interested in joining them, which I was, so I got to know him a little and they told me what the score was.  And I was down.

Sometimes arrangements go bad.  I'm not proud of myself sometimes.  He started seeing me without her, telling me that they'd decided that he had to get his alone.  And she seemed like that was okay at first, but then she got really jealous of me and told me she didn't want me to see him any more by myself, but he kept wanting to see me and saying she'd changed her mind again, and finally I had to tell her what was going on behind her back.  She got super pissed at me and we never really talked again.  And... well, I kept being his avenue to cheat on her, and they finally separated.  I think he was interested in something serious with me, but I wasn't interested in that, so he got pissed at me too and that was that.  Bridge thoroughly burned.

Moving on from that somewhat unpleasant experience (I mean, the sex was great though) there's times when it's me and a girlfriend (Gwen and I did this a lot) picking up a guy.  Or when a couple picks me up and they're both interested in all of it.  Either way, that's when we come to a guy really having to satisfy two girls, and that can be rough.  But often it's not.  There's something extremely sexy about being next to another woman while a guy swaps his cock from one to the other.  Or having a girl eat you out while a guy's cock is in you, pussy or ass, it's all good.  Or getting to suck a cock right out of another gal's pussy.

I guess, rather than going through a whole list of things which make an FFM work, I'll just say that if the guy is willing to try to give both gals pleasure, that counts for a lot.  Maybe one of you gets more penetration time, but it doesn't have to be a clinical calculation.  It's heat of the moment stuff.  Hell, I'm happy to tag along with a couple where all I really get to do is be the third pleasure wheel.  I've been with couples who were mostly fucking each other but where there were no lines to cross and I got plenty out of it.

I've walked in on couples more times than I can count.  At home it was pretty common, particularly when Sheri was still living at home.  That's not even counting walking in on Mike or Dad and one of the ladies of the family.  I've gotten more secondary action from Sheri's momentary conquests than anyone else, I think.  It's usually easier to pull off if the guy doesn't know we're related, but sometimes that doesn't matter either.  I mean, there are a lot of men out there who may not be into incest but are totally into fucking two sisters at the same time.

And there's my college years with Gwen, of course.  We had a special system which has never, every been copied: she'd hang something on the doorknob when she was in flagrante in our room, and I'd do the same (yeah, weren't we original).  But after we got to know each other better, that stopped happening as often, and I would walk in to Gwen fucking some guy a lot.  And if there was nothing on the knob and they were in there doing the deed, I'd come in and watch and join in if I cared to and the guy was okay with it, which most were.  Ditto for the reverse.  If you walk in and join, you're supposed to, by rule of honor, take a back seat to the gal who got the guy in the first place, but a few times that didn't happen.  I remember once, Gwen saw me come in, hopped off the guy, said, "Oh good, I'm glad you're here; I've got to take a break."  The guy started to get up, but Gwen just said, "Lexi is going to finish you up," and wrapped herself in a towel and headed for the bathroom while I stripped down and hopped on his cock like we were doing that bit from The Honeymooners.  "Mornin' Sam.  Mornin' Ralph."  Clock punched, time to go to work.  He was huge and I could understand why she needed a break.  Not really a threesome, I suppose, but it got me off.

And lastly, before I finish up this particular topic, there are times when you walk in on complete strangers and they invite you to join.  Rara avis, that one.  I was working somewhere, don't remember where, and I went into a back room to get something and there were two people I knew vaguely but had never really talked with that much going at it against a wall.  I think the guy was an actor and the girl was in props or costumes or something.  It was a party, I think, after hours, or after normal hours because theatre life has no hours.  I think I'd left the main party to do something work-related in the darker areas of the theater.  But she gasped, "Oh god, come here, he's so hot," or something like that, so I said, "Okee dokee," and came over and got drunken kisses from the cute prop girl.

He pulled out of her and I got on my knees immediately because he had a nice cock, not enormous but just pretty.  Cut, thick, veiny, with a big head and a shaft long enough that it tickled the tonsils when I deepthroated him.  They were both pretty drunk.  Not falling-down drunk, but drunk enough that they both instantly thought it was a great idea to have me join them.  Pretty soon she had my pants and panties down, my shirt up, and was sucking my tits like there was no tomorrow while I sucked his cock and he fingered her.  Then he pulled me up and pressed into me against the wall.  It had been a long day, so it was very nice to be filled like that.  They were kissing, then she basically pulled all of us down so my head was between her legs and he was fucking me from behind on all fours, and it was pretty hot and heavy from then on out.

We each got a load, separated by some very nice drunken girl-on-girl, and then we excused ourselves to go back to whatever we were doing.  But when I came back a few minutes later, they were back, or at least I thought they were back, until I realized that no, it was the cute prop girl, but the guy was a different guy, another cute actor.  What a whore she was, and I was loving it, because she called me over again and we had two FFMs in the same night.

So there's some random stuff about FFMs.  Drop me a request or a question and I'll write more.  I can be specific, if there's a story I've teased in one of these ramblings which piques your interest.

Tag Teams

@DehuddRyan has asked (see, I respond) for some ruminations on group action, and while I could fill books with that kind of thing, I'm going to break out a few things I've been thinking about.  Firstly, the cherished and far too rare MMF.

Most guys aren't comfortable with the MMF.  I know, shocker.  Well, actually, I wish it weren't that way.  But for many guys, the threesome is exclusively the FFM.  Two chicks, one dick, and then he doesn't have to see another guy naked.  Which is sad.  No one's asking you to go gay, guys, although for whatever reason it's perfectly acceptable for a guy to ask two gals to lez out at the drop of a hat.

But I don't ask my multiple male partners to make out with each other while I sit and watch.  I mean, if they want to, I'm totally down, but I usually have other things in mind.  So no worries if you happen to be out with a friend and I approach you.  I'm not going to make you blur boundaries.

More that that, though, even guys who are comfortable sharing are often uncomfortable sharing in a way which might lead to accidental contact of skin with another guy.  It's just the world we live in.  So many of my MMF experiences have been of a strictly, or at least largely, tag-team variety.  I get DP pretty infrequently.  And I get it; it's too much like you're fucking another guy.  And I also know that a lot of good guys are squicked out by it and I'm not judging (well, much).

The bottom of the pole, as it were, is the strictly tag team.  And that's fine and dandy with me.  I prefer partner swapping if there are others involved, like say another girl and we swap guys, and that's happened plenty of times.  Some men are too shy to even have sex in the same room as another couple, so I'll take what I can get.  But if it's just me and two guys, and one is just sitting by the sidelines waiting his turn, well, I'd like about fourteen more guys on the sideline too and turn it into a gangbang.  I'm old-school: a gangbang isn't a gangbang unless there are more than two guys involved.

It's okay though.  I remember once, meeting two guys and finding them completely okay with the idea of sharing, but then when we got back to their hotel room finding that they were going to argue for what seemed like forever about who was going to get sloppy seconds while I sat there feeling awkward.  Finally I said, "Look, why don't we play it by ear?" and then pulled both their cocks out and worked on them in tandem until they forgot they were arguing and wound up sharing me in more ways than I think they planned.

I've also been with guys who were clearly alpha and beta dogs.  It's not always the same though.  You might expect the alpha to go first, but oddly enough, frequently the alpha will be giving the beta a gift or something, and he'll be like, "Okay, show my bro a good time."  Nowadays I would probably think long and hard about that, but in my youth, I was down.  I remember at least once where one guy basically sat back and jerked off while watching his friend fuck me seventeen ways to Sunday, then let me finish him in my mouth.  To each his own.  Maybe he liked watching but didn't want to admit it.

Then there's the constant swap.  That's not two guys at the same time, necessarily, but it takes a bit more comfort with each other.  There might be blowjobs that go back and forth, and then one guy fucks me for a while, the other hops in, then they swap back out.  That, to me, is the true tag-team.  I even fucked two guys while we were all just having a great time, laughing and telling jokes, and at a certain point it became a joke for them to tag each other in when they would swap.

Then there's some more involvement on both sides.  Maybe I give them head together, and then I keep sucking one while the other plows me.  And I'm totally fine with that, although depending on the skill of the guy fucking me the blowjob the other guy gets might be sub-par.  Still, if he gets a turn in my pussy or ass after they switch out, it's just prep work in my mouth anyway.

There are plenty of permutations.  I've sat in a guy's lap while blowing his friend, I've been spitroasted many times (and even Eiffel Towered a few in my college days when I would fuck people who thought that was a good idea), and although it's not my thing I've sucked balls and given a rimjob while on my back being pounded.  As long as I'm between the two of them, it's not gay, like The Lonely Island has pointed out.

Then there's the ever-elusive DP.  I've been with a few pairs who clearly had it on their minds from the get-go, including two guys who straight up asked me if I was interested in it while we were still in the negotiation stage before we even got to the locale where the act would take place.  Sometimes it happens organically, like if we're all enjoying ourselves in a semi-involved way and, while I'm riding one guy, I invite the other to hop in there.  I've had a few rejections.  Sometimes I can tell that they're not comfortable with it, sometimes anal isn't on the table, but sometimes even if they haven't seemed like they were comfortable with it I've offered anyway because the only way to find out is to ask and they were too shy to admit it.  And sometimes that works.  I remember one pair who seemed totally shy around each other, but once juices got flowing and I was reverse cowgirl on one partner with his cock in my ass, I said to the other guy, "You want to stick that big cock in my pussy?" and he grinned sheepishly and then came and did it, by God.  Props to trying things outside your comfort zone.

If I can swing it, I try to get the guy who seems less interested under me before I ask.  That way he has things on his mind and is in less of a position to argue.  I'm not saying I force anyone, and I've had a few partners who, even underneath me, their cocks buried in what I can assure you is a very enticing pussy, say, "Hey, wait, I don't want his dick touching me," when I offered.  One guy even pushed me off of him and got all defensive about how I was trying to make him gay.  What can I say?  I was less discriminating than I should have been there.  He got his clothes on, still spouting bullshit, and left, and I figured his friend would leave too, but his friend kept apologizing for the asshole and I said, "Hey honey, it's not your fault," and we would up having a very nice rest of the evening together.

I have to say, I enjoy two guys who are totally comfortable with each other the best.  That doesn't mean they necessarily do anything more than share me, no DP, but if they're not either shy or awkwardly trying to one-up the other because they're scared they're not as good as the other, that's usually for the best.  I've had a few very good experiences with guys who were down for whatever happened and weren't afraid of each other.  That's the only times I've ever had DP in more exciting ways than me sandwiched, either cowgirl or reverse, one cock in pussy, one in ass.

When I was younger and more limber, I had standing DP with two guys.  One held me up with his hands under my knees while the other straight up reamed my asshole.  I won't say it was the best; I think somewhat more vanilla DP gives a lot more opportunities for pleasure and less risk.  But I enjoyed it.  Then I hopped off and flipped around and we switched for a moment until the previous holder took me from the other guy again, facing away from him, his cock in my ass, and let his friend fuck my pussy with the same force.  I came so hard that I popped his cock out of my ass and he came all over my butt.

I've also had double vaginal, but never double anal.  Double vag is tough.  I'm tight (not bragging; most women are too tight for it to be easy) and the second guy kept popping out.  It was a bit like taking the biggest dildo I've ever had.  There was some discomfort.  But the feeling of fullness you get from being stuffed like that is hard to beat, even if it is a little uncomfortable at first.

And lastly, there's that rare Sasquatch peeking around a tree, the duo who are so comfortable that they'll play with each other.  I've had bi guys in pairs, and that's fucking awesome.  I've told some of those stories.  But I've also had guys who weren't bi when they took their clothes off, but got really comfortable and started exploring.  Usually it's just kissing or touching.  I had two of the most stereotypical bros in the world jerk each other off onto my tits once.  I may have goaded them on a bit, but they were into it after a few seconds.  I like to be between a pair of guys and notice them looking at each other lustfully, not at me.  Like I said, I'm not going to just sit back and let them make out while I watch, but it's fun to be sandwiched and then have the two guys start kissing and stroking each other while they fuck me proper.

To skip back to the beginning, the polar opposite of that I've had once too.  I went back to a hotel with two guys once, and as soon as I started making out with one, the other said, "Okay, call me when you're done," and I thought I was going to lose one partner for the evening.  But lo and behold, as soon as my current paramour had finished, he stuck his head out the door and called the other guy in, who, with no prompting or introduction, pulled off his clothes and entered me while I was still lying back basking in the afterglow.  Which would have been odd enough, but they kept swapping like that.  I think they each came inside me three times, one after the other, one guy always in the other room.  I think the first guy waited in the hall, but after that, they waited in the bathroom until the other finished.  And at first it felt a little odd, but then I started to get into it.  It was kind of clinical and anonymous (which was helped by the fact that I didn't know these guys at all).  And I can get off on that.

Next time, continuing the theme, I'll talk some more about groups maybe.  But questions and requests are still welcome on Twitter, email, or in the comments.  Don't make Ryan do all the heavy lifting.

Ushering

Sheri's answers made me think of my own experiences with ushering boys into men.  Or something like that.  I figured I'd just ramble on about that for a while.

The worst virgin I ever had was still better than the worst sex I've ever had.  I don't hold it against virgins, even if they've got some experience in other arenas.  Usually they're so eager that's it's tough to be good.  I'm speaking of guys exclusively here; gals are a different matter.

I've had more than one premature ejaculation, which is why I usually warm things up orally first, because once the rocks are off to start, they usually have more staying power the second time.  But sometimes you want that first spurt to be inside you, and it doesn't work out.  I had a boy cum in his pants just kissing me once.  It was awkward for him, but I just shrugged it off.

I think that's the key to properly introduce a virgin to sex: you've got to be generous.  It's not necessarily going to be the longest or the greatest, but it's an honor, at least as far as I'm concerned.  I compliment and give pointers.  As I've gotten older, I've gotten better at it.  When I was younger, the virgins were thicker on the ground and they were usually a bit more selfish too, for some reason.

Taking a guy's virginity has a different feel when you're roughly the same age.  Even when I was pretty experienced, there were still plenty of partners who'd never done it before, and sometimes they wouldn't tell me, but you can sort of tell.  I'm not saying you can always tell, and sometimes it's hard to say whether they're really virgins or just have only done it once and probably with someone who had no idea what they were doing either.  These days, the few I've had have been either more willing to admit it or have come to me specifically because of it.

And there's absolutely not shame in virginity.  Really.  Whether you're saving yourself for marriage or just haven't had the opportunity or just haven't felt like it, there's no shame there.  A lot of people feel ashamed of it but I think it's often more shame about something else.  I mean, if you've wanted to have sex but no one has accepted your offer, you start to wonder if something's wrong with you.  Or you might be ashamed of breaking whatever vow you've made to stay a virgin.  But you shouldn't feel ashamed of being a virgin.  Whether you're 13 or 43, sex is fun, but it's not all there is in life, and not having had sex, even if you've masturbated millions of times, isn't shameful.

I've had a few virgins who were breaking promises.  I find that, frequently, those promises were promises they made because they felt they had to, not because they really wanted to.  Parents, schools, religion, and even just society seem to make it out that virgins are pure and people who have sex are sullied in some way.  So just as there's no shame in being a virgin, so too there's no shame in losing your virginity.

I've been happy to offer myself as a way for virgins to switch from one state to the other.  I'll do it again, I'm sure.  I'll probably be ancient and still available for virgins, if they'll have me.  But it doesn't make you a man to have sex either.  It's this social rite of passage, but that's silly.  Sex is something you do because it's fun or you love someone or for various other reasons including procreation.  But being a man (or a woman, although I'm not really talking about them here) is how you act, not what parts of you have contacted what parts of another person.

I've been the first girl for a few gay guys.  Maybe I should say bi guys.  Some of them were bi, and cheerfully had sex with both women and men, but some were just curious, had sex with me, and then went back to having sex with men.  Curiosity is healthy.

Let's see... the oldest virgin I've ever had was in his thirties, I believe.  But maybe that was just the greatest difference in ages.  He was deeply ashamed of it.  It twisted him up inside.  I felt more like a therapist than anything else.  I'm not sure how much I helped him, because he was convinced that he was terrible in bed, kept apologizing.  I think, although I'm not sure, that part of the reason he was still a virgin when I met him was that he wasn't attracted to women his own age.  Which is also kind of sad.  I feel for people who are only attracted to things they can't have.  Yes, this means I have sympathy for pedophiles.  There are a fair number of them living among us, and most of them would never hurt a fly.  It's just how they're wired.  I'm not defending them doing anything about their urges, but it must be difficult to be that way.

Some tips for any virgins in the audience:

Grateful is great, but don't feel like you have to overdo it.  Even if I were doing you a favor (and I'm not always; sometimes I just want to get laid and you happened to be a virgin) you don't have to be any more grateful than you should be if anyone has sex with you at any time.

Express your gratitude in actions, not words.  Telling me you're grateful is fine, I guess, but even better is being a considerate lover.

If you can't last, there are other things we can do.  It doesn't have to be a one-time thing.  Sex is more than just pumping for five seconds, rolling over, and going to sleep.  I'm not saying that to shame you either.  I'm saying that because if you can't last, lots of the other stuff can be a whole lot of fun too.  Enjoy yourself.  Don't be in a hurry to lose it.

This is a tip for everyone, but listen to your partner.  If she (or he) knows you're a virgin, hopefully she'll tell you what to do a bit more than normal.

Sure, getting your dick wet the first time is great.  But what's even better is making someone else happy sexually for the first time.  That's why sex is better than masturbation.  Getting yourself off is something you've probably done before, but getting another person off... that'll make you feel like a million bucks.

Porn lies.  I love porn, but don't believe it for a moment.  Real sex isn't like that.  It's way, way better.  Being surrounded by a living, warm, wet, breathing human... yeah, there's no shame in going off too soon if all you've ever done is stroke your cock with your hand.  I don't have a cock, but the first time I stuck my finger in a pussy, you can bet I knew that a real pussy is different.

Some tips for anyone who finds themselves deflowering someone:

Slowly.  They may want to rush, but slow it down.  Make it an experience, not just a moment.  That's really the best thing you can do.

Get naked with them.  Sure, the back of a car or an alley or a dark closet is sexy, but the first time, maybe try to do it up proper.

Don't worry about them being quick on the draw.  Again, this is addressed to those who are making a boy a man.  If a gal is quick on the draw, that's great and keep going.  But if a male virgin goes off too soon, like I was saying to them, there's always round two.

Don't be surprised if they can't get off.  This is an odd one, but it's true: sometimes the nerves and the buildup are so much that even the most hot-to-trot virgin can't keep it up.  Keep at it.  Explore other things.  Make them feel good, even if you can't get them off.  They'll remember their first time inside you whether it was orgasmic or not, I promise, if you make it good for them.

And lastly, you should be grateful too.  They're giving you a gift.  Yes, there's too much baggage on that gift, but even without it, they've picked you to be their first.  And that's special.

Yeah, that's about it.  Any questions?  I'm on Twitter, email, and I would be on Facebook were it not for the fact that Facebook is a wretched hive of scum and villainy.  Please, drop me a line.  I'm dying to answer questions.