Teasing

As I make clear over and over again, I love me some questions from actual humans rather than memes. Sure, sometimes the answers aren't interesting, or they're questions I can't really answer on the blog for one reason or another, but I jump at a good question. In the course of a conversation, I was asked a question which I felt warranted a response, so here goes (the question has been chopped up a bit because, as I said, it was part of a conversation and so needed context):

"You ever do anything like... [t]ease an older man, maybe in public [when you were younger]? Knowing he was looking at you when maybe he shouldn't and you just couldn't resist teasing him a little?" - p.s.

I'm shy. I really am. I know that I come off on the blog like I'm some kind of exotic temptress who oozes sex at all times, but you'd never know it to meet me. Most people have no idea I'm even promiscuous, and if they know that I've had a bit of experience, they sometimes can't rationalize it with how I appear in everyday life. I don't flirt all that much, unless I'm in my comfort zone or I don't give a shit. I'm not really all that great at picking people up; most of my past "conquests" have fallen into my lap, and I'm saying that to give myself as little credit as possible. As a seductress, unless someone is already trying to be seduced, I suck. If someone is trying, then I'm easy.

But balance that against the fact that I was a very precocious child. Yes, I was one of those annoying kids, and while I find them (and myself) just as annoying, I have a great deal of sympathy for them because it's hard. Most of my friends growing up were older than I, sometimes much older. Many of my lovers have been. I tend to come off as older than I am, or even look, and (not tooting my own horn, just stating the facts) I've always been well-educated enough to make people believe that I must be older than I look, never mind that, after a certain point, I started looking pretty much how I look now, only with a better, easier-to-maintain body (damn it).

So while I didn't flirt with older men when I was a teenager (well, not much) I did tease them, sometimes unconsciously. I went through a period after my parents decided that I was allowed to pick my own clothes, within reason, where I pushed the boundaries of "within reason" to their limits. I'm not saying I dressed skanky, I just dressed older. I got my aunt to buy me mini skirts that my parents wouldn't like and wore them when they weren't around. And of course, once I started having to wear a Catholic schoolgirl uniform, there wasn't much I could do that wasn't teasing, I'm afraid. Like all girls I rolled up my skirt, wore stockings, opened an extra button, all those things that were almost compulsory if you didn't want to be a total loser (which, I'm somewhat sad to say, was always somewhat borderline for me, even with my efforts).

As a walking embodiment of sex appeal for some people, I imagine that my mere existence outside the cloister of Catholic school was enough to drive some men to distraction. I noticed it on many occasions; I'd get long, longing stares if I went to McDonalds or walked down the street. And that didn't bother me; I was actually rather taken with it. Even before I hit that point, I'd occasionally notice a guy looking at me a little longer than he should have and get misty. I don't like creepy or stalking, but I really don't mind someone enjoying looking at me. If that makes me whatever that makes me, I guess I just have to live with that.

But beyond passive and accidental teasing... well, yes, I'm guilty of some active teasing as well. Mostly it wasn't particularly directed; I'd just know that people were looking and flaunt it a little. I was bad at swimming pools; wearing a bikini is as close to being naked as I usually got in public areas, and if I was feeling particularly frisky, I might adjust my suit a bit longer than necessary after coming out of the pool, or bend over to pick something up without bending my knees.

Sheri was a bad influence here too; on more than one occasion, in strange places, she'd get me into teasing some man whose gaze happened to linger. We'd start whispering, and then giggling and eying him, and depending on the circumstance maybe cross and uncross our legs to make our skirts ride up a bit. As we got older, particularly after Sheri decided that she was old enough to no longer care about age restrictions (which came a while before she actually was able to stop caring completely) she'd flaunt it much more and drag me along, "kicking and screaming."

I remember once we were in a fast food place sitting across from this guy who seemed pretty old at the time but was probably only in his twenties. He looked over at us over his girlfriend's back, and we grinned back at him, then Sheri planted a kiss on my lips and blew him one too. His eyes bugged out a little, but he stayed quiet, although we had an audience for the rest of the meal. I doubt he heard a single word his poor girlfriend said.

I've only been overtly sexual once or twice in a tease, at least in one which wasn't directed at someone I either had already had sexually or was planning on having. I'll tease by showing off a bit, but only a few times have I moved past showing off into doing something other than polite, shall we say. Maybe it's because I'm really actually shy about sex. I don't know; I doubt it. I'll give bonus points if the guy who's ogling me catches my eye and doesn't look embarrassed or look away. If you can be honest about the fact that, yes, you're ogling me, then I'm inclined to give you a treat.

The only time I remember specifically was sitting on a park bench wearing shorts (back when I still wore shorts) and leaving my legs spread maybe a bit too much. I wasn't thinking; it was warm and I was relaxing. I'm not prim and proper sometimes. Anyway, I noticed a guy in the grass a little way away looking at me. I was old enough to know that semi-deserted park plus guy staring might equal unpleasantness, but young enough not to have any evidence to prove that theory. I caught his eye, and he just looked back. Didn't leer, didn't grin, didn't do anything, just kind of looked and smiled slightly, like I'd caught him in the middle of smiling at something else and now his face was just relaxing. Pleasant enough.

So I spread my legs a little more, past "maybe a bit too much" and straight into "yep, that's too much" territory. These shorts weren't super skimpy, but in that pose they left very little to the imagination. He smiled a bit more, seeing me looking at him and spreading my legs but not getting ready to run. So I smiled back. Then I looked away, deliberately, like I was going to ignore him and let him do whatever he wanted, and then spread my legs a little more. I confess, I started to get a bit wet. Then, and this is the part where I slide over the line into evil, I "absently" reached down and ran my fingers over the seam of my crotch, like I was just scratching myself. I left my hand there, didn't really move it because I wasn't quite prepared to venture into public masturbation.

Finally, after a while, I squeezed my legs back together on my hand a few times (which felt fantastic and made me want to rip all my clothes off and jump any guy at all right about then) and then pulled my hand back out and looked back over to see how my audience was doing. He was still looking in my direction, and I nodded to him, just slightly, as I got up and walked somewhere else because I didn't want to put on a show any more, I wanted sex, bad.

Thinking back on it, I'm not actually all that proud. I don't tease much any more because it doesn't seem fair. I mean, I'll tease if we both know that it'll go somewhere eventually, but to tease without any hope is kind of cruel, to my mind. And while I like being watched sometimes, I get off less on it if I feel like I'm being malicious in some way. I'm just a big old softy.

Now, of course, I might get up after catching his eye and go over and strike up a conversation. Or I might let him look but not encourage him. Or I might, no matter how bad I feel afterward, spread my legs a little more, if only to give him a better view. There's no harm in giving someone what they want, is there? Okay, don't answer that.

Nothing particularly shocking in my testimony, but you never know, the next question might be a doozy. So ask, please. I don't have a cute little widget for questions because I don't like formspring, but comments are always on and email is a viable option as well. If you've asked a question in the past and I forgot about it, ask it again, and I'm sorry for being my usual scatter-brained self. If nothing else, I'll say, "Oh, I already answered that," and point you in the right direction.