Moment of Weakness

I am a big proponent of not shitting where you eat.  Huge.  I'm bad at following my own advice, but I try.

That said, if fucking a coworker is shitting where you eat (or dipping the pen in the company ink, but I don't have a pen so I'm not sure I can use that one) then what is fucking a customer?

Because a few nights ago, I did just that.  He was just so darned cute when he asked for help.  I helped him, we got to talking, he said he was just in town on vacation and did I know anywhere fun to go, I told him the back seat of a car was fun, he grinned but didn't say no or walk away, so I took my break early.  What can I say?  I'm so fucking horny these days.  And yes, that previous was an abbreviation, so don't accuse me of writing letters to Penthouse.  I don't go up to strange men and proposition them that boldly.

He was a little older than me but cute, brown hair with temples just starting to go gray, about as tall as me (which is nice, I have to admit), and he had a stubby nose which was probably the oddest part of his face and really the only part I remember that well.  But I wasn't really interested in looking at his face.

His car was tiny so we adjourned to my car, which is not the most comfortable place to do the nasty but which has seen much nasty done in its life so it's practical if not roomy.  Honestly, I was just going to give him head.  I figured he could use a good blowjob and I have to keep in practice.  But once I had his cock out of his pants, I really wanted something for me too.  And the fact that I wasn't going to get it pissed me off to the point that I was willing to try to get it even though I knew I wouldn't.

For the ladies (the few there are) or the gentlemen who enjoy that sort of thing, his cock was pretty decent for a random sample.  Nice large head, which I enjoy but which presented a few problems with deepthroating.  I guess I was a bit out of practice because in my prime I could have had his entire shaft down my throat in nothing flat.  He wasn't super long though, so I could get most of it in my mouth and let the head tickle my uvula without going for the full-on.  Anyway, I decided I didn't want him to go off without being inside me at least a bit.

He didn't have a condom (shocker: guys, carry condoms please) but come on, even at my lowest ebb I'm prepared (if for no other reason than to give Sveta a good example) and anyway, I decided that since the front door is being so finicky, he would definitely have to go around back.  If that's too subtle, I wanted him to fuck my ass because I haven't had a cock in there in too long, and it hurts less.  Yes, I know, that may be the first time that's been said.

When I climbed up, took off my pants and unbuttoned my blouse, and whispered, "Fuck me in the ass, big boy," he actually paused.  Which I guess isn't that surprising, because I really did say that, just like you're imagining it.

"In the butt?" he said, somewhat incredulously.

"I like it," I encouraged.

"I've never..."

"It's okay, sweetheart."

"Are you on the rag?"

Yep, he asked me that.  And honestly, at other points in my life I would have told him to pull up his pants and get the fuck out.  Hell, at a few points, I would have kicked him out with his pants around his ankles.  But... well, I was horny, as stated, plus I was feeling charitable because it wasn't like he'd been a total dick previously or anything, and I guess it's a fair question if a gal wants you to fuck her in the ass.  Probably not a good question to ask if a gal is asking you to fuck her in the ass.  The good questions are, "How hard do you want it?" and possibly, "Do you have some lube?"  Any others?  Feel free to chime in with your suggestions.

Anyway, I said, "No, I just prefer it and I thought you might enjoy it.  I mean, you're on vacation after all."  And then I giggled all coquettishly, because I'm shameless.

He laughed too, a nervous but genuine laugh, and said, "Okay, just remember I'm new to this."

I got the condom on him as fast as I could, sat in his lap, and eased that delightful big head of his into my asshole.  It felt wonderful, I won't lie.  And he seemed to enjoy it too.  But I was starting to feel really excited in a genital way, and that meant I started getting little tickles of pain through the pleasure.  Still, it was nice.  I backed down on him like a pro and pretty soon his pubic hair was tickling my labia, which only made things worse in the little tickles of pain department.

I wish I was turned on by pain, because this would be like two orgasms in one.  But I'm not.  No offense to anyone who is, but I've never really gotten off on it.  Humiliation, degradation, even a little rough stuff, but pain itself doesn't do it for me.

Anyway, my break's not long, so I didn't give him the scenic route or anything.  He had his hands around my breasts pulling me back to him and I didn't give him any pointers because I didn't want him to get any better and make things worse.  The squeezing on my tits was arousing enough.  I started rocking my ass, with his cock still buried in my butt, squeezing him a bit and trying to ignore my cooch as much as possible.

He didn't explode right away, so I sped up a bit, grinding down and then pulling up, until he got the hint and started thrusting up to meet me, and god damn did I want an orgasm right about then.  The stabbing was getting stabby-er, so I kept going, biting my lip.  Because it's still pleasure, you know?  And the pain builds a lot slower in my ass.  He tried to finger me, but I just pulled his hands to my hips and begged him to rock me harder.

Pretty soon he grunted and tried to pull out, but I just squirmed down and giggled and felt his cock spasm a few times as he filled the condom.  I wish he could have filled my ass or my pussy because it would have felt better, but ah well.

And I have no idea what his name is.  I know the first name because he did introduce himself, but I could give a shit about his last name.  And frankly, after he was done, I kind of wanted him gone.  He tried to invite me to his place, but I told him I had to go back to work.  He said he might come back and see me again, but either he didn't or he didn't know when I work and showed up to be disappointed.

When I got home, I let Sveta almost wear her tongue out trying to get me to cum.  It hurt like a motherfucker but I really wanted to get off.  But no dice.

Am I a bad person?  Yeah, a little.  I basically used that guy as a sex toy.  I could have given him more.  I don't feel guilty about it; I mean, he got to fuck a cute girl in the ass in the parking lot, so I wouldn't feel sorry for him.  I didn't force him to do it, believe me.

But mostly I was just disappointed.  Because as good as it felt, it wasn't enough.  My doctor and Sveta both want me to keep trying, and that includes not just trying by myself or with Sveta, but also trying to possibly recapture some of the sexiness I had before all this.  Which means that I'll keep trying.  If he had come back, I would have fucked him again, although maybe not in the car.  Maybe in the bathroom.  Horniness makes me incredibly kinky in a lot of ways.

More than that, though, I fucked a customer.  Probably not a great idea, employment-wise.  Kind of afraid I might do it again, repeatedly.  Thinking about taking a stranger into the bathroom and getting fucked bent over in a stall is making me incredibly horny.

Bukakke

Bukakke has never been something I particularly enjoyed watching.  There's a certain thrill to it, the idea of a whole crowd of random guys lining up to jizz on a cute girl's face, but frequently the presentation isn't sexy.  And the fact that it's usually Japanese and censored doesn't help much.  I think Japanese women are incredibly sexy, but the sounds that Japanese porn stars seem contractually obligated to make don't really do it for me either.

That being said, I think there's definitely good bukakke porn out there, including from our Eastern neighbors.  I just prefer gangbangs and creampies for my viewing pleasure.  Having a gangbang finish up with bukakke can be nice, but the girl has to be cute and I don't want to see minutes and minutes of her waiting patiently while unattractive men furiously wank out a tiny dribble of spooge.  I'm fine with a bunch of cumshots in quick succession, particularly if there's some fucking happening too.

But I've reversed my position on bukakke personally: I would love to try it.  I would love to have a huge gangbang more, and I would love to have a huge creampie bukakke even more than that, but it seems like the standard garden variety bukakke might be easier to achieve, and I can see the appeal of it happening to me.  I think this may be a continuation of my last post in that I would happily lie there as guy after anonymous guy spunked all over my body.  The addition of some help cleaning up would be nice, but I could also happily do one of those where the girl cleans it all up herself.

As I get older, the logistics of organizing a gangbang become more and more tricky.  But I might be able to get a few guys together to come in one at a time and cream all over me.  I wouldn't make them stand there in a group or hotswap me.  They could be completely secure in their masculinity.

Maybe I just need to put out some feelers to old friends.  Of course, most of my friends would want to fuck, but maybe they'd be willing to do a quid pro quo: some alone time with me in exchange for a sperm donation.  Whatever.  It makes me hot thinking about it.

Doctor's Orders

So my doctor suggested that I need to keep trying on the whole "can't cum without feeling like I'm being stabbed in the gut" thing.  I'm not sure whether I'm supposed to just get used to the pain or if "physical therapy" will actually help reduce the pain.  But whatever.

So, because it's hard to try to cum with a partner as part of physical therapy (not that I don't, but partners only have so much time to contribute and there's refractory periods and all that jazz to worry about too) I've been fantasizing a lot and looking at a lot of porn.  A lot.

Lately the idea of being tied up in a bathroom stall has really been appealing to me for some reason.  I figure there should be a stall in the men's room right next to the toilets and urinals which is the "get your rocks off" stall.  Actually, because I'm so deprived and depraved, it could be a "do pretty much anything you want to Lexi" stall.

Maybe a guy just needs to piss, so he comes into the stall and there I am all trussed up.  He just unzips, sticks his cock in my mouth, and I have to drink all the piss.  And then, like a good bidet, clean him up afterward.  No shaking required, no post-mictural dribble, just Lexi the toilet slave.

Or maybe he'd like to stick a funnel up my ass and give me a golden enema.  Or just piss all over me.  Whatever.

Then of course there would be the guy who has 5 minutes for coffee and a wank and sees my stall instead, so he heads in and fucks my face like a Fleshlight and cums down my throat.  No mess to clean up, and I guarantee I'm a better choice than a stealthy bathroom jerkoff session.

Of course there's always the chance that he'd like something more than a blowjob.  There I am, tied up and bent over and he can fuck me seventeen ways to Sunday, pussy, ass, whatever.  Since I'm tied up, I'm seeing the need for a bathroom attendant who could clean up afterward.  Sure, Lexi the bidet could suck his cock clean after he shot his load inside me, but maybe the attendant could do that too just to make sure, and she could also eat out all the cum to make me nice and sanitary for the next guest.

Yes, I'm even thinking, because as I said I'm deprived and depraved, that scat would be on the table in this scenario.  I would totally rim a guy to save on toilet paper.  I'm a filthy whore slave in this scenario.

This is not something I would ever actually want to do in real life.  That's what makes fantasy so awesome.  I frequently fantasize about things I've never done, or could never do, or would never do.  Give it a try sometime.

As for me, I'm going to go back to following my doctor's orders right now.  If anyone has any toilet fetish porn they'd like to share, leave it in the comments.

I'm Still Here

Having problems, but still alive.  More bulletins as I can handle making them.

Update

A helpful link from an anonymous reader:

http://money.cnn.com/2015/02/27/technology/google-porn-blogger/index.html

Basically:

"We've had a ton of feedback, in particular about the introduction of a retroactive change (some people have had accounts for 10+ years), but also about the negative impact on individuals who post sexually explicit content to express their identities," wrote Jessica Pelegio, Google's social product support manager, in a post on Google product forums. "So rather than implement this change, we've decided to step up enforcement around our existing policy prohibiting commercial porn."

So... I guess I'll stop my destruction of all my images and wait and see what happens on March 23.

As I'm still violating Blogger's TOC, maybe I'll disappear.  If that happens, look for me to pop up elsewhere or not, I guess.

I've taken down a bunch of images already as well as crushing my site design into a fine powder, which annoys me.  If things go as this says they will, I'll do a redesign.  The images will probably stay gone though.  Don't worry; I have others.

Doing It

No, not that.

I'm going through and removing all the pictures from the site.  I don't know how long it will be before Blogger decides that anything sexual at all must go, but until then I guess I'll keep writing.  I'm going to leave up everything I can even if it makes no sense without the pictures because there are comments and text to be saved.  I'll try to mark where I've taken pics out.

Why?

Well... I don't know.  It gives me an excuse to read through the archive.  If I still go private after all this work I'll be pissed off, frankly.  But I know a lot of people have enjoyed my stories and...

I could just start up another blog from scratch, repost some stuff, that kind of thing, but part of me wants to go down fighting.

Looks Like We're Done Here

Soooooo... Blogger has changed their TOS and I can't have naked pictures.  I could go back, I suppose, and remove all pictures from my blog, but I'm not sure I really care enough to do so, nor am I sure that would fix things.  This might be it for me.  I don't feel like moving to WordPress and having the same thing happen over there, and rest assured it probably will at some point.  I'm not really surprised by this.

I'm not really complaining.  It's just kind of sad.  Ah well.

If you want you can email me at lexinaughtygirly on gmail (you're smart enough to know how to do that, I hope) once this blog goes private, as has been stated it will.  I don't know what that means, exactly.  Not sure I care.

Love you all,
Lexi