When You've Got It

I am not a smooth operator. I promise, I may sometimes seem like I am, but I'm not. I edit out a lot of awkwardness in my stories mostly because it's just fluff that gets in the way of good smut, but also because, well, I'm vain and I like to seem like I'm more of a smooth operator than I am.

So when I tell this story, understand that.

The other day I was at work. It was a jazz band with a vocalist who happened to be a reasonably attractive young woman. I wasn't really doing anything with that information because she wasn't wearing anything particularly provocative and anyway I've been tired. They were rehearsing for the concert, and I was sitting in the booth and reading a book. And suddenly I was struck with this intense need to pee. Like, I know women have the reputation for being incontinent, but I'm usually able to hold my water, and this was like a 17-alarm fire.

I excused myself (my boss was in the booth too because hey, God wants me to have supervision) and waddled down to the dressing room because I wasn't sure I was going to make it anywhere else. They were all on stage, or so I thought, so it didn't seem like I was going to bust in on anyone.

Long story short, I managed to bust in on the singer changing into her concert dress. And by that, I mean that she was wearing next to nothing when I crashed through the door. Imagine my chagrin. Imagine, further, that I was about ten seconds away from pissing myself in front of this half-naked, more attractive than she had been clothed, girl. I apologized hurriedly and ran through into the bathroom.

Cue that scene from Austin Powers. You know the one. He's just been awakened from cryo-sleep and he pees for a good solid minute and a half. Yeah, that was me. I have no idea where it all came from. So yeah, that was nice. Didn't at all contribute to my utter awkwardness one bit.

I finished up, washed my hands, trying to take as long as possible, then finally had to ask, through the closed bathroom door, "Is it safe to come out now?"

She said it was. I was, in the back of my mind where I'm an utter perv, slightly disappointed. She had looked very nice, much nicer in underwear than in anything else. But when I emerged, beet-red still, she was wearing a very nice gown that showed off her figure without showing it off the way my perv-lizard-brain would have liked.

"I'm so, so sorry," I said, not able to meet her eye.

"It's really okay," she said, with admirable poise and magnanimity. "Just, next time, you know, buy a lady dinner first."

Now I said at the top I'm not a smooth operator. This was a setup laid down by the gods though. "I'd be happy to do that retroactively," I blurted out. I have no idea where it came from. Maybe I really am a smooth operator and I'm just too in my head about it. Honestly, that's probably true. In some instances I have been known to be very smooth. I just wish I could predict it.

She gave me a look. "Okay, after the concert you can take me to get something. I'm starving but I'm not eating before I wear this dress on stage."

Well hello. I'd like to say that I reacted to this reversal of fortune with the same poise and magnanimity, but I think I stammered something about it being a date and then hightailed it out of there like I had just farted in a crowded elevator and we'd reached my floor. Smooth, that's me.

I think I might have paid more attention to her microphone levels during the concert than I otherwise do, but that's not to say that I don't always give the same level of service to every person who takes the stage at my workplace, no matter okay who am I kidding I paid more attention and I usually don't give two shits as long as it's audible. Also, I resisted the urge to ask my boss to pinch me. He didn't even comment on my remaining blush when I came back. It was the dim lighting, I guess.

Afterward she didn't say anything to me for quite some time. I figured, okay, she's thought better of it. She was seeing friends in the audience and I was having to tear down the setup, so my mood soured a little and I wrote it off as wishful thinking on my part. And then when everyone else had gone except my boss and me, I saw her standing in the wings watching me work. She looked... approving? I don't know, she just seemed like she didn't mind waiting.

My boss was itching to go home and I was itching to go elsewhere, even if elsewhere wound up being dinner and awkward conversation and then driving home and bashing my head against the wall repeatedly for thinking anything could happen. I mean, it's not a spoiler alert to say that something happened, because I wouldn't bother telling the story, but at the time I didn't know that.

"I'll meet you outside," she said when she caught my attention. My boss is no fool, but he's totally fine with me getting some (because God may want me to be supervised but She also loves a lover, I guess), so he just gave me a grin, said, "I'll see you tomorrow," and let me clock out without comment.

The singer needs a name, so let's call her Gia. Gia was waiting outside as promised. "Shall we take two cars? Where do you want to go? Um..." Something like that, but somehow less put-together, escaped my lips.

"You can drive me back here, right?" Gia said. See, poised, magnanimous.

"I'll drive you home if you like." That's me, telling basically a stranger that I'll happily make them leave their car in the parking lot of my workplace so I can find out where they live.

"Okay."

"Oh, but you probably need to get your car..."

"It's no problem. I can get it tomorrow."

At this point you might be thinking that she was coming on to me, and if she was, she was doing it in the most subtle way I've ever seen. Nothing she said sounded like she was trying to communicate lust. It just seemed like she was being nice. Poised. Magnanimous. I chose those words almost randomly as I was writing this story, and yet they really do work.

Anyway, you don't need to hear too much about dinner. I found out she was between boyfriends, that she was bi, and that I could manage not to say anything too awkward about how nice she looked almost naked. Yes, I do have some restraint. I managed to compliment her choice in underwear as things wore on, and she even blushed a little, which would have terrified me but things were going fairly well at that point. I paid the check because I'd said I would, even though she tried really hard not to let me, saying it was just a joke, that she could pay for hers, etc. What can I say? I'm not an old-fashioned man.

Then I drove her home, and it seemed perfectly natural for her to give me a goodnight kiss, which I'm afraid I returned rather enthusiastically, which made her enthusiasm ramp up, and pretty soon she basically had to invite me in, breathlessly I fear. Once we got into her tiny little apartment, she responded with a cute little nod when I asked her if I could kiss her again, and we did that for a while, just kissing. Her hands stayed well above the equator, so I tempered my expectations, but I also tried to move slowly.

When Gia admitted that her bisexuality was mostly theoretical, I can't say I was surprised, but while stumbling into dressing rooms on the verge of pissing my pants is not my element, intimate situations like this are definitely my element, so I slowed to a crawl and told her that I was in no hurry and if she just wanted to leave things as they were I was totally cool with that.

When I say that her response being, "No, I kinda want to show you my underwear again," was the sexiest thing, maybe you'll understand just how sexy enthusiastic consent is. No, there's no way to capture in words the way she nibbled her bottom lip a little and her eyes lit up, but trust me when I say that she wanted more, and that's a huge aphrodisiac.

"If I'd known I'd be showing mine off, I would have worn something more interesting," I said by way of diffusing the tension. She laughed. Honestly, it was the first time she'd really laughed, and it was worth waiting for. She had a gorgeous voice (which I told her during dinner) and her laugh was low and musical.

"God, I was so nervous that you were joking," she said.

"Are you kidding? I thought you were probably joking and I'd made a huge mistake," I said.

"I wasn't, and you didn't," she said.

Things proceeded pretty smoothly after that until it was time for the bras to come off. Well, mine was off because I wasn't nervous at all, but Gia was, though she liked being stroked through the fabric. She had pale tan skin, dark soulful eyes, a very nice package even just considering the parts you ordinarily see, and her hips have a nice curve, complimented by small but perky breasts. She finally giggled and pulled off her bra, and her nipples were just begging to be kissed, so I did that for a while. Longer than a while, actually.

"God, you're getting me so hot," she said, and I guess she threw her inhibitions out the window because she was out of her panties and lying back, legs spread, begging me to eat her out. Her pussy was bigger than I expected, full and plump, with delicate little tan lips that peaked out from her pubis. Very tasty, and though she had explained at a certain point that she was dying for it, she was pleasantly easy to get off the first time, and she didn't push me away until I'd raised some hairs on the back of her neck.

Then I moved up and kissed her. I find that's often best, when it comes to neophyte lesbians. If they don't mind tasting their own pussy on my lips, they won't have a problem with tasting my pussy. She seemed to be interested in sucking my nipples, and then she got her hand between my legs and started rubbing at my still-covered slit until I had soaked my panties with desire.

"Forgive me if I'm no good at it," she said, but it wasn't like she was nervous, just wanting to make sure I understood.

"You're doing fine." Encouragement is key.

She pulled my panties off and we had a bit of awkwardness trying to readjust our positions on her tiny little bed, but we managed it. I'll leave out all her compliments of me. Suffice to say that she was enthralled by my pussy. With a little guiding influence she settled into basic but serviceable cunt-licking, even getting a finger involved. I came and begged her not to stop and came again, bigger this time.

Then we spent a fair amount of time just snuggled up and making out, body to body. Finally Gia looked at the clock and sighed. "I've got work really early tomorrow. I don't want to kick you out if you want to sleep here..."

"Let me get you off one more time before I go," I said. Always leave them in the afterglow if you can.

She wasn't hard to convince. "You eat pussy better than any guy I've ever dated," she said, which I include not to toot my own horn but to decry the sad state of male cunnilingus in this day and age. I was already back between her legs, giving her a little workout with two fingers arching up into the roof of her vagina, stroking and licking her clit with my tongue. A nice sized clit, pretty sensitive but ready to play. I enjoyed her. She enjoyed me.

Afterward, I was super tempted to spend the rest of the night there, but it didn't seem fair. We exchanged numbers even though we had both been fairly clear at the outset that she wasn't looking for a long-term commitment. Maybe fuck-buddies? I can deal with that. She's not that far from where I work. Maybe she just wants some companionship until she finds her next boyfriend.

Then I left, drove home, and told a drowsy Sveta all about it. She was a little jealous that I got all the girls. I have no idea how. This story should have ended up totally differently. I would absolutely love to coach Gia through some more advanced sapphic wanderings though, if she's up for it, and Sveta could certainly be involved at some point. Who knows?

I promise I'm not establishing a lesbian commune. Things just happen to me sometimes, and then I share them with you all. When you've got it, share it.