Purity Test

Jim sent along this, slightly more racy, purity quiz. It comes from an adult personals site, but aside from a few of the questions, that doesn't matter. I'm afraid that after this one, no one will care about the previous one, but here goes anyway.

Have you ever . . .

1. French kissed (tongued)? Yes
2. Been on a blind date? Yes
3. Had or given a hickey? Yes
4. Engaged in foreplay? God yes
5. Read a pornographic book or magazine? Yes
6. Masturbated to a picture? Yes
7. Sucked an Member of the Opposite Sex's breasts or had your breasts sucked? Yes
8. Seen a pornographic movie? Yes
9. Gone coed skinny-dipping? Yes
10. Committed an act of exhibitionism (moon, streak, flash)? All three
11. Masturbated? Once or twice... an hour.
12. Purchased contraceptives? Yes
13. Engaged in foreplay for more than two hours consecutively? Maybe
14. Been shopping inside a porn shop? Yes
15. Showered or bathed with an MOS? Yes
16. Shaved your pubic hair? Yes
17. Committed an act of voyeurism? Yes
18. Had sex with a virgin? Yes
19. Had sex in a car? Yes
20. Had sex outdoors? Yes
21. Experienced a lap dance? No, oddly enough I suppose
22. Gone to a strip club or porn house? I don't know what a porn house is. I've been to a strip club. It wasn't all that exciting.
23. Performed a strip tease for an MOS? Yes
24. Met with someone for sex only? Yes
25. Had sex non-stop for an hour? Yes
26. Interrupted a couple having sex? Yes
27. Jerked off or fingered by an MOS? Yes
28. Jerked off or fingered an MOS? Yes
29. Photographed a MOS naked? Yes
30. Been naked in photos taken by a MOS? Yes
31. Given oral sex to a MOS? Yes
32. Done 69? Yes
33. Had sex in three or more positions? Only three?
34. Experimented sexually before puberty? Yes
35. Been caught masturbating? Yes, and I do mean caught
36. Masturbated with another person in the room? Yes
37. Watched another person masturbate? Yes
38. Watched another party have sex? Yes
39. Had sex in a public place? Yes
40. Had sex during menstruation? Yes
41. Gotten a woman pregnant, been pregnant? No (I wish)
42. (Arranged, had) an abortion? No, thank goodness
43. Have a child or children? No
44. Had a V.D. test? Common sense
45. Had a V.D.? Fortunately, no
46. Orgasmed three or more times in one night? Yes
47. Traveled over 100 miles just to get laid? Just to get laid? It's been a profound motivation, but not the only motivation. So I guess not.
48. Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse? Yes, I'm ashamed to say
49. Picked up a stranger for sex? Yes
50. Had sex with a member that you've met on [adult personals site]? No, because I don't use it.
51. Had sex with a MOS with an age difference of 10 years or more? Yes
52. Had sex with a MOS with an age difference of 20 years or more? Yes
53. Put an inanimate object up your vagina or anus? Yes
54. Had anal sex? Yes
55. Had sex in front of a third party? Yes
56. Had an alcoholic drink? Yes
57. Been drunk? Yes
58. Used alcohol to lower an MOS's resistance? No, unless I'm fooling myself about certain occasions.
59. Had an alcoholic blackout? Yes
60. Smoked tobacco? Yes
61. Smoked pot or hashish? Yes
62. Used LSD, PCP, heroin, or Mushrooms? No
63. Used cocaine? No
64. Used three or more recreational drugs in one night? No
65. Been arrested? No
66. Been convicted of a crime? No
67. Accepted money to remove any clothing? Yes
68. Gotten laid on the first date? Yes
69. Had a threesome? Yes
70. Had a foursome? Yes
71. Attended any of the orgy or swinger parties held by [adult personals site's] members? No, I wish
72. Rimmed a partner? Yes
73. Sought out a hooker? No
74. Engaged with a hooker or gigolo? I'm not sure how this question differs from the previous, but no
75. Had sex with two MOSes at the same time? Yes
76. Had sex with two different people separately in a 24 hr period? Yes
77. Videotaped yourself having sex? Yes
78. Accepted money to perform a sexual act? Yes
79. Gave or received sex with a strap-on? Yes
80. Slept with a married MOS? Yes, and that's not counting my Dad
81. Been engaged? Sort of
82. Been married? No
83. Had sex with a friend of a current boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse? Yes
84. Had sex with a relative of a current boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse? Technically, yes
85. Had sex with more than 10 different people in your life? Yes
86. Had sex with more than 30 different people in your life? Yes
87. Had sex with more than 50 different people in your life? I'm pretty sure.
88. Had sex with an unconscious person? No... not really
89. Been propositioned by a homosexual? What's a homosexual? Do lesbians count? My answer is probably still yes.
90. Accepted? Yes
91. Kissed a member of the SAME sex? Yes
92. Been masturbated by a member of the SAME sex? Yes
93. Been orally stimulated by a member of the SAME sex? Yes
94. Had sex with a member of the SAME sex? Yes
95. Lived in a threesome (sex with 2 others) for a month or more? Yes
96. Been involved in an orgy or swingers party? Orgy yes, swingers party I wish, neither for too long.
97. Engaged in bondage? Very mild, vanilla-type stuff
98. Engaged in sadomasochism for sexual enjoyment? Does a little roughness and spanking count?
99. Engaged in group (5 or more people) sex? Yes
100. Recommended [adult personal site] to another person? No

All of the "member of same sex" business is a little odd, especially since I can answer it about both sexes in many cases. But still, I score fairly high. Only 17 unqualified negatives by my count (and two of them were questions about using the adult site), and about 75 where I can say yes without qualification, which leaves only 8 where I hem and haw. I'm sure I could have scored better if I were more of a bad-ass, and some of those qualified ones were probably yes. But I could have had an 83% Impurity Rating or something, which puts me squarely in the Naughty category, I think.

So yeah. I've answered some of these questions previously. I've talked about some of the stuff. This is just a scorecard, I suppose.