In the wake of yesterday's TMI, Jim asked me if I'd talk a bit about Uncle Sam. For those of you who haven't gone back through the archives (a daunting task, I know), Uncle Sam made an appearance early on and hasn't been back since because it's a hell of a trip from his house to ours, or vice-versa. Reading over it now, I'm struck by how crappy my writing was back then. Ah well. I've gotten a bit better at this.
Anyway, Uncle Sam lives in BFE with his wife Derdre (DEER-dree, not DUHR-drah, as some people pronounce it) and Palmer, who is Derdre's uncle or something, although I've never been solid on the familial relationship. Not that Sam and Derdre aren't in love or suited for one another, but Sam is definitely bi, and he's married to Derdre partially so no one thinks twice about him and Palmer being together a lot. Because Palmer is my uncle's gay lover. Pretty much gay, although he's been in my ass a few times.
I love them all. Sam's a joker, a few years older than my dad, and in private he's a goof, but in public he's a pillar of the community. Civic-minded, hard-working, and if his neighbors ever found out what he does behind closed doors, it's likely they wouldn't believe it. But he's in a place where people have different values; no one thinks anything of underage fooling around, many people implicitly condone incest if they don't practice it, or they at least turn a blind eye to it, a man marrying a woman many years his junior is nothing much, but there's no such thing as gays. It's weird. Uncle Sam's not quite as free of some of the trappings of his upbringing as Dad is; he didn't get out of his comfort zone, move away, start a new family. But that doesn't make him a bad man at all. He's a sweetheart, albeit a slightly white trash one.
Derdre is only a year or two older than Mari, which makes her really more like a cousin to us than anything else. Plus, she and Sam have an open marriage, obviously, since he and Palmer spend way more time in the sack than he and she do. Still, they love each other in their own way. And she's discreet about her extra-marital activities for the sake of public opinion. And she's a doll. I love hanging around with her; she's the cool aunt that all kids wish they had, I guess.
I previously said that Uncle Sam and I don't have a history of fucking, and that's true, as far as it goes. By that, I mean we've fucked, but so seldom as to be practically non-historical. I think I've been down to visit them twice since I was of an age to be able to participate, and they've been to visit us maybe four, five times. When I was a kid, we saw them a bit more, but now they blow into town travelling from point A to point B (Uncle Sam travels and really thinks nothing of driving up to see us, but it's not usually feasible). And my family travels seldom. We're not happy travelling.
I haven't seen Derdre in years. We talk on the phone sometimes, and she sends me great gifts (which is good because Uncle Sam can't give gifts to save his life; I've gotten totally ridiculous things from him before he let Derdre do the shopping). I have even less of a history with her; she and Sheri always used to go out and paint the town red, but with me, it's been mostly some mutual masturbation while we were watching Palmer stuff his cock into Uncle Sam's ass. Lucky for Uncle Sam, Derdre is a woman who gets off on watching gay guys go at it.
Sheri and Derdre (I never call her Aunt Derdre; it just seems weird to me) shared a guy in the back of a pickup truck once. I'm sorry I missed that. Mike's sorry it wasn't him. When he was still too young to fuck by parental fiat, Derdre gave him a blowjob. See, cool aunt. And of course, I've seen Dad and Uncle Sam team up on Derdre, because unlike Mom she's definitely okay with anal (which helps, I guess, when you're married to a bi guy). And she and Mari get along really well, to that point that I believe they've seen each other solo when none of the rest of the family were around. I'd fully expect Derdre to be Mari's matron of honor if she ever gets married (here's hoping). It makes me a bit jealous, I don't mind admitting, but it's okay. They're not really sexual, although they have had sex. They just are so close in age and Derdre relates to Mari in a way that I don't think any of the rest of us do. I don't know exactly why. That's just the way of things.
Even though I've had plenty of sex at Uncle Sam's place, most of my memories are of him and Palmer, because in the house, they're not shy. I mean, neither is my family, but both Sam and Palmer are outdoors types, and they have a big plot of land with no risk of being seen, so backyard fucking is definitely the order of the day. I got horribly sunburned once during a marathon session where Dad and Uncle Sam had a few beers and then bet each other than they could get me to cum more times without cumming themselves. Dad won, but only just. I was wiped out. That was the last time I was there, I think. And I suffered for it.
Anyway, up to a certain point, I could say with fair certainty that Palmer's cock was the biggest I'd ever had in the back door. Now I'm not totally sure, but he'd still be in the top five. It's only happened a few times, usually when there isn't anyone else around or Sam is too worn out or busy, but while he's pretty much completely gay, Palmer doesn't seem to have a real problem with fucking any ass, including mine. I have it on authority from Derdre (who I trust) that Palmer prefers men because he likes receiving as well as giving, but when he's giving, he only wants anal and doesn't care whose. And he cums like a firehose when he's had a cock in his own ass. But that's true of most guys.
Uncle Sam's house is a lot of fun, and if it were larger (it's tiny) I would totally consider visiting them by myself for a few weeks. Of course, I have no time for that and no money either, but it would be fun as hell. Maybe some day, I'll get to take Sveta there and introduce her around. She'd enjoy it. Derdre would love her; I've told them about her on the phone when they called last, and Derdre promised to send up something cute.
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