TMI Filler

1. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being the highest), how satisfied are you with your life?

When I'm with Sveta, 6.5. When I'm not, 5, tops. I'm not particularly happy with my life at the moment. Parts are terrific, and I'm not complaining, particularly because many of the reasons I'm not happy are my own fault. But satisfied?

1a. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being the highest), how satisfied are you with your sex life?

8. Always room for improvement, but basically the only thing that's keeping me from rating this a 9 (not a 10, because perfection is fleeting) is that I don't get quite as much as I'd like. Still, depending on the day, I might rate it a temporary 9.

2. What is the easiest way for you to reach orgasm?

Easiest? Clit stim. Doesn't produce the best orgasms by any stretch, but if I'm looking to get off quickly and easily or giving advice to a partner on the best way to get me off, my clit is like a joy buzzer. They won't be bone-shattering orgasms, but I'll cum.

3. What are 3 inevitable things about you?

What the hell is an inevitable thing? I guess it's inevitable that I'll wind up horny. It's pretty inevitable that I won't be satisfied with something (see above). And it's inevitable that I'll say something or do something wrong in most situations; the situations where I succeed at not fucking things up are usually the situations where people cut me some slack at being socially inept.

4. What is your favorite sexual position? (yes you have to narrow it to one)

I've answered this before, but missionary remains my favorite. I guess of the missionary positions they number, I prefer #7.

It's a close contest. This position gives nice depth while still allowing the intimacy and ability to lie full on me. I don't always wrap my legs around; sometimes I go through pretty much every permutation of face-to-face fucking you can have. But this position combines comfort and enjoyment.

4a. What is you least favorite sexual position?

Scissoring with a guy is no fun at all, particularly the way they do it in porn. There are some positions I've just never tried because they looked like shit.

5. Favorite body part/parts of the opposite (or same) sex?

Girls: the tummy, particularly the belly button. Close race there, since I enjoy the female body holistically. But that's my pat answer.

Boys: it's so hard to choose. I mean, it would be safe to say "the cock" because I do love penis. But I enjoy good hands in a man; I like to feel them rather than seeing them. If I had to pick a body part, I guess that's the safest generic.

6. Would you rather have you significant other (this can be a hypothetical SO) have sex with someone else or fall in love with someone else? [You have to pick one.]

This question is too easy for me. Sex. Definitely. I mean, honestly, the fact that the question needs to be asked says something to me about society's fucked up attitude about sex. I would so much rather have someone I love enjoy themselves physically with someone other than me, as opposed to falling in love with someone else. If they fell in love with someone else, that's it for me. Sex, even if you're a Puritan, you can get over. But maybe it's just me.

7. When you have a "toe-curling" orgasm, do your does curl up, or down?

They don't curl, they extend. I have terrific extension with my toes, to the point where I don't like wearing confining shoes because they may my toes claustrophobic. I have "toe-spreading" orgasms. But I guess they curl a bit up too.

8. Name three words that:

a) get you excited

"Eat this chocolate!"

b) make you squirm

In a good way? "Time for anal." In a bad way? "I just vomited." Yech.

c) make you laugh

"Exploding nuclear weasel." Tell me you didn't just laugh a little.

Bonus (as in optional): What is your most embarrassing sexual moment?

Do I gotta? Oh, right, I don't, because it's optional. Tee hee hee.

Just kidding. I get embarrassed easily, and it's not always pleasant for me to recall embarrassing moments, so I'm trying to diffuse the tension with humor. And it's not working. I guess the most embarrassing sexual moment I've ever had was the time I farted, a massive, brain-rattling fart, during the act. This wasn't with someone I knew either. And it wasn't a queef. We're talking full-on cheese. I didn't want to be in the same room with me. Sex came to a screeching halt. I know there are fetishists out there licking their lips, but neither I nor my partner were at all turned on. I apologized profusely, which is what I do in embarrassing situations, but it destroyed the mood. Yeah, best not to recall that.