Friday, November 19, 2010

Flash Fiction Friday - The Doorguard and The Demon

Hallway

The Doorguard

She stood there, wantonly naked, having come from his room, hair disheveled post-coitally, eyes somewhat vacant in that well-fucked sort of way. She wasn't looking in my direction, and I drank her in with my dilated pupils, the drugs making things swim slightly. I must have lost my balance; I put out a hand to steady myself and heard the stairs creak distantly. For a moment she seemed not to notice, and I sighed with relief, hoping not to spoil things, which of course shifted my weight and made them creak again.

"Hey, want to clean me up?" She asked without looking at me, so I wasn't even sure she was addressing the question to me or to another unseen watcher.

On my knees before her, tongue inside her, and she was lighting a cigarette, breathing smoke that joined the haze in the air. She tasted of him, and I wished I'd never given myself away, because all I really wanted was for her to leave and let me creep silently into his room where I could taste firsthand.

The Demon

Second-hand smoke and cunt-smells and the sweet stink of burned flesh. She answered my summons in the hallway with another shadow tonguing her. "Yeah? We haven’t got all day."

"I have another wish."

"Course you fuckin' do. They always do." She conjured another of her numberless black cigarillos from somewhere, put great concentration into lighting it as if dismissing my problem. "Let's hear it," she said finally, reaching down to press the head of her servant deeper into the space between her legs. "Fuck sake, do it like you mean it, bitch."

"Marietta. I want to bed her."

The queen laughed. "Course you fuckin' do." She sucked in a breath, either from pleasure or just to take in the smoke, I couldn't be sure. "Come here. Give us a kiss and we'll tell you how it'll be.”

The stairs creaked, her arms wrapped around me, pulling me, or perhaps just a part of me, close, and her tongue wormed into my ear and I forgot myself for an instant as the infernal knowledge entered me like a knife.


I had two ideas, and I decided to go with both.  I don't intend them to be connected in any way this week; they were both inspired by the picture.  I didn't use the phrase in the second one, but they're both under the limit words-wise., although the second one could have been much longer if I hadn't constrained it.

The first one was somewhat organic; I just wanted to write something about coming upon a naked woman in the hallway and giving her head.  Why not, right?  But after I wrote the first half, I realized that what our intrepid heroine was trying to tell me was that she really wanted something else.  The naked woman could have been coming from anywhere, but she was coming from a man's room, and thus, the end.  Sometimes characters will write their own stories.  I could have shoehorned things, but I chose to let it happen.  I know I would have preferred for it to be another way; it's not always about a guy.

The second was mostly because of the shadows and the fact that I can almost see a tail where the kneeling woman has her hand.  I've always thought that demons would probably appear with underlings doing unspeakable things to them, if they were looking to impress or intimidate sexually.  I enjoyed this one, not because I'm particularly into diablerie, but because I sort of like the character.  She has an accent like a character from a Guy Ritchie film, she smokes thin black cheroots, she refers to herself in the third person, and she has hot-and-cold running sex on demand, mostly just to show off.  I don't like evil, but it's a character who's fun to write.  And she doesn't seem to have to work hard on this guy; he's selling himself without any sales pitch on her part.  He's just an idiot.  I hope Marietta doesn't get hurt.

And the titles were basically just things which came to me, but put them together and you've got a title which should probably have already been written by R. A. Salvatore or similar.  Hence, my homage to silly fantasy titles.  Coming soon: The Minstrel and the Mage, followed in 2012 by The Warden and the Warrior, all part of the Eyeless God saga.

I'm thrilled that Flash Fiction Friday is back, the PB is back, and that the picture this week was so sexily inspirational (and thanks to Sephi for that).  You know you want to join in.  Course you fuckin' do.  They always do.  Heed the siren song.  Head over to Flash Fiction Friday.

12 comments:

Dioneo said...

Both were lovely, Lexi! The first perhaps had more of a story, but I'm more drawn to the poetry of the second. There are a number of great phrases: "sweet stink of burned flesh", "another shadow tonguing her", ...well I'm not going to list them all. Beautifully done!

Anonymous said...

I like when the characters write their own story. I'm glad you let them. ;-) Enjoyed both versions as usual. Happy FFF!

Naughty Lexi said...

@Dioneo: I'm glad you liked them both; I think I may like the second better myself. I don't want to toot my own horn though, so I'll just say that, if I ever have a demonic orgasm, I imagine it'll be something like the last line. How does one write about losing one's soul, really? Certainly better than I did here, but then I could probably have written 180 words just describing that and never even scratched the surface.

@TemptingSweets: You can't force things. I know it makes me sound like a schizo, but I enjoy writing where I have a character, put them in a situation, and see where they go with it. Sometimes it's collaborative; a character will decide to do something, which will make me think, "Oh, that's a good idea," and change things to make that idea stronger. Sometimes it's just not being able to herd the cats.

Drenchxoxo said...

Both pieces were fantastic.

Great line! "another shadow tonguing her"

David said...

Two great interpretations. You are full of lovely imaginings and naughty thoughts/words.

Nicely done.

Advizor54 said...

"I don't like evil, but it's a character who's fun to write."

That's why, this weekend, no one is going to see, "Harry Potter and but Fuzzy Bunny Picnic" We want to see evil incarnate, but at a distance. We want to feel the thrill of the serpent hissing in our ear with the false security that we are only listening for a moment.

Your story brings us that hiss in wonderful fashion.

Over&Out said...

Loved them both, but preferred the first...for reasons I'm not sure I can articulate. Perhaps it's because the receiver was not a queen bitch in the first...though the power aspect of the second was compelling as well. Good job.

The Panserbjørne said...

Thanks so much for joining us again after last week's hiatus, and please don't hate me too much for skipping out next week too. :)

These were delicious, though I think I prefer the first one. Less...disturbing. Although it's not exactly warm and fuzzy, either, is it?

Great having you, regardless. Happy FFF!

-- PB

Naughty Lexi said...

@Drenchxoxo: Everyone seems to like that line. I never would have picked it, but I'm glad it went down well.

@David: If I had to pick a summary of myself, yours would be right in the running :) Thanks for the kind words, hun.

@Advizor: Yeah, I guess you're right; why else would Satan be everyone's favorite character from Paradise Lost?

@Oversexed Librarian: Regardless of which one you liked better, I'm glad you liked it.

@PB: Hate you? No. Why would I hate you? You give me such joy for free; if one week I don't get my fix, it's only because I'm not paying for it ;) And I had a bit of my own fun last week, so maybe next week I will too. I'm not opposed to masturbation, even of the literary kind.

Anonymous said...

You are diabolical! In a good way, of course. It's always a delight to read your FFF.

Naughty Lexi said...

@Spring Flower: Guilty as charged ;) Glad I can be delightful.

Anonymous said...

Interesting take on both stories. I liked how they meshed. Thanks for an enjoyable read Lexi.