Friday, December 10, 2010

Flash Fiction Friday - Into the Ice

King Sol By Carolyn Weltman

And the brave one's blood grew cold and his breath froze in the icy places below the world. Now he stood alone and unbent before the throne of the Jotunn jarl and thumped sword upon shield, singing out a challenge. No bearded behemoth greeted him, but a pair of rime-maidens, blue and sharp as hoarfrost. His gaze ran down their shining bodies, from hair like winter's wrath over breasts peaked like twin bergs to hips full of snow-dappled promises. Numbly his fingers surrendered their grip on blade and buckler as gelid fingers caressed him. He did not struggle, shivering with desire, as they stole the heat from his soul's hearth even as they fueled his loins' false fire. Thus he passed from mortal ken into the ice.


I knew I wanted this to be about cold.  I don't know if PB chose the phrase purposefully, since I don't know anything about the picture other than what he gave us, but the combination of shivering and the blue tint and the weather was enough.  Boy I'm sure going to feel silly come Friday when everyone writes about cold.

At first, when I saw the title of the picture (King Sol) I was a bit confused and wondered if I'd completely missed the point.  Not that I was going to change my mind, just that I was reading something into it that wasn't there.  But while that may be true, King Sol works for me because I'd like to believe that this is a fragment of a myth concerning winter and the shortening of days, and perhaps King Sol, our intrepid (but rather overly-influenced by the lusts of his flesh) hero, is the sun and the rime-maidens are the approaching solstice.  Or something.  That's just a bit of fluff; I didn't think of that while I was writing the piece, but I'm post-facto rationalizing it.

After my Beowulf pastiche of a while back (go on, read it again, I'm quite proud of it) one might think that I've got a thing for Norse-Germanic myth, which would be semi-accurate.  I didn't do verse because this isn't Old English and I dislike repeating the same trick.  I'm also trying hard to be positive about Norse-Germanic myth because it gets co-opted far too often by asshole neo-Nazi shitheads.  And let's face it, there was a certain amount of sex going on in old Norse myth; maybe not as much as in Greek myth, but I couldn't see putting ice-maids into Greek myth because icebergs are pretty thin on the ground in the Peloponnese.

A confession: while I was looking for something else, I came across the word "gelid" which I knew but didn't remember and would probably never have used, and it clicked back into memory so I had to use it or lose it, but it feels a bit like I cheated and wrote by thesaurus.  However, the rest of the big words are all mine.  I love hoarfrost, and, like Coleridge before me (The Rime of the Ancient Mariner), I'm using "rime" with a bit of a pun, but in saying that I make myself look incredibly snobbish.  Informal poll: Anyone catch the pun?  Anyone get the pun in Coleridge?  Anyone know what the hell Lexi is talking about?

This was rather rambling because I'm rather scatterbrained presently, and I apologize if I've seemed boastful about using big words or puns or Beowulf or really anything that I've said.  In attempting to explain, I've just made things worse.  Just like always.

Anyway, to return to the topic at hand, I struggled with this, not because I didn't have an idea, but because I couldn't write the idea down.  Then I wrote it down but it was all wrong, so I cannibalized phrases from the original to feed the fires of innovation.  Then it wound up being too long, so I cut things.  I would have cut the required phrase ("shivering with desire" if you're playing at home) but even though it's basically three words the story didn't need, I left it in and cut some other three words because it's important to play by the rules (127 words, if you're playing at home).  I wound up changing most of what I cannibalized, so there's very little of the original still there.  And I wanted it to involve more sex, but instead you got some arcane words.  Quick, instead of an orgasm, I'm going to say, "brumal!"  That's that kind of thing that keeps them coming back for more.

But don't let all that make you think I'm unhappy with this.  Nor am I ever unhappy that I've thrown my literary bonnet in the ring for Flash Fiction Friday.  I doubt sincerely that you'd be unhappy if you tossed whatever hat you wear when writing into next week's ring.  We take all kinds: literary tamoshanters, literary porkpies, literary straw boaters, even the occasional literary giant foam cheese hat.

22 comments:

Lusting Lola! said...

Oh, Lexi, you crack. Me. Up! I loved the piece (even though I got lost your big words from time to time). I enjoyed the overall feeling.

Max said...

I love it! I also noted the blue tinge and the required phrase, but couldn't figure out a way to make it work.

Happy FFF! (And I'll undoubtedly be tossing my propeller beanie in the ring next week too. ;-))

Over&Out said...

Very different take on the image, and a great job with it, Lexi. Wonderful work using the colors of the image as much as the characters in it. In order to pass to the great hall after death, a warrior had to die with his sword in his hand. Better, I think, to die with it sheathed in a maiden's scabbard.

Drenchxoxo said...

LOL @ if you're playing at home. I spit coffee on those :)

You have such a wicked mind Lexi. I know I've mentioned this before but your rambling after the post are almost better than the story itself.

Impressive as usual.

Naughty Lexi said...

@Lusting Lola: I don't use big words to be pretentious, I hope everyone knows; I just like fun words. It gets me in trouble. Glad I could crack you up.

@Max: I seem to have been the only person who wrote about cold, which surprised me because I figured everyone would. Further signs of my mental oddities, I imagine. I was going to include propeller beanies in the tally, but giant foam cheese hats amused me more, and rule of threes and so forth, so don't feel slighted that I left out your hat of choice ;)

@Oversexed Librarian: How true. I always thought "The Ride of the Valkyries" would have been more interesting if one were riding the Valkyrie rather than her horse ;)

@Drench: Not wicked, just naughty ;) I have to do something to shore up my stories, so why not write some rambling stuff after then to ensure that everyone thinks I'm crazy ;)

David said...

Very well done lexi, completely different take and great imagery. Bravo!

Lusting Lola! said...

Lexi, I know you don't use big words to be pretentious. I love your vocabulary (my husband does, too). It's one of the many things we love about your blog. That, and your oh, so, naughty nature. But that goes without saying.

Anonymous said...

I always love all your very creative stories.

Naughty Lexi said...

@David: Thanks hun :)

@Lusting Lola: Just wanted to make it clear that I don't hate people who don't understand my big mouth (or get my puns apparently, since no one has yet said they did). Hell, I make up words too, so no one can be blamed for not knowing what the hell I'm saying sometimes ;)

@TemptingSweets: I'm happy to keep posting them :)

Anonymous said...

Lovely and inventive take on this. I thought about Invictus Sol, which is coming up soon, but glad I didn't take that path.

Enjoyable as always. Your afterthoughts are always fun too.

Naughty Lexi said...

@wordwytch: Not entirely sure what Invictus Sol is, other than, according to Wikipedia, a later Roman god. So I couldn't have been inspired by that. Probably for the best, if you avoided the topic; I'm willing to take your recommendation on it :)

Vesta said...

A really interesting interpretation. I think it is great that you used the sense of cold as a way into the scene. I hadn't thought of that at the time.

Naughty Lexi said...

@Vesta: There I was thinking that I was being really obvious and having to inject all this other mythic stuff to keep myself from being totally unoriginal, and it turns out that cold was original in and of itself. I could have written something simpler. Damn ;) Still, glad you enjoyed it.

France said...

Funny girl!! I liked the FFF story; it's always interesting to learn a few words or just how your mind works!!

Naughty Lexi said...

@France: A few words, yes. How my mind works... I'm not sure that's such a good idea ;) Glad you enjoyed it.

The Panserbjørne said...

Week after week your pieces are above the crowd; week after week the commentary fascinates; week after week I am so, so very glad you still choose to join us each week.

Far more lit'ry than I could ever manage, but deliciously so, rather than impenetrably so as so many pieces of "classic" lit tend to be for newcomers. Fine line you're walking there.

-- PB

Naughty Lexi said...

@PB: I keep a close watch on this heart of mine; I walk a line. No, wait, I should say something less Manson-y. Except flattery turns my pretty little head to goo.

The Panserbjørne said...

Hell, I would have thought that was Johnny Cash. :)

Anyhow, you're deserving of the flattery.

-- PB

Advizor54 said...

As a proud wearer of a literary big foam cheese hat I'm always impressed at your literary references and the ability you have to adapt your style to the topic at hand.

That being said, I missed the Coleridge reference. All I know is that he was from Vermont which makes all of his poetry suspect.

See you next week!

Naughty Lexi said...

@PB: It is Johnny Cash, but that particular part of the song was quoted (creepily) by Charles Manson in an interview I watched once, and then realized I'd been hearing it sampled in a song for years. So it's a bit tainted.

@Advizor: Okay, because you gave me an excuse, Coleridge (and just what's wrong with Vermont?) was making a pun on rime/rhyme. It's the "rhyme" of the ancient mariner, but since rime can also refer to the patina of old age and woe which this ancient mariner wears (not to mention the ice which is in the tale), it's a pun. Get it? No, it's not a good pun. And my pun is similar, except instead of "rime-maidens" one should think "rhine-maidens" a la Wagner, who wrote quite a bit of this type of stuff. Not a very good pun either. I only brought it up because I like The Rime of the Ancient Mariner and the word "rime."

The Panserbjørne said...

I was in a college honors lit class once where the teacher let me bring in Iron Maiden's "Powerslave" album and a boom box so we could listen to their rendition of "Rime of the Ancient Mariner". Me and the other metalhead guy in the class were headbanging away; the teacher and the rest of the class didn't quite seem to know what to make of it. It was awesome.

-- PB

Naughty Lexi said...

@PB: That song bears slightly more resemblance to the poem than Holy Diver bears resemblance to a priest in an aqualung, but I have only one thing to say about that: RAWK! ;)