Eggs

I remembered something worth sharing about the Quarantimes (Phase 1? I'm not sure we ever really finished the first iteration of it, we just... whatever).

Easter has never been a huge deal in my household, as I think I may have mentioned in the past. We used to go up to Aunt Jenny's for Easter but with her gone, it's usually very low-key. I've told some stories in the past about various fun activities we've tried, but mostly it's just an excuse to eat some chocolate and maybe fuck, in that order.

Sveta's family has always been more into Easter, and so for a few of the years we've been together, she's gone home, even though it involved going home. I obviously wasn't invited to some of them, and then after we got married, well, her step mom is a bitch and I can't stand being around her, so...

Anyway, all of that is to say that she was feeling somewhat disconsolate during the first Easter where we couldn't do anything but sit around the house, and then when another Easter rolled around and we still couldn't do much of anything, I knew I had to find something to entertain her. We had ham and traditional crap, some Easter candy, and then I unveiled my surprise; a stone egg pelvic floor exercise ball.

I've never been one for balls like that, but it was too perfect for Easter, machine-washable, pussy-safe, all that jazz. I couldn't find a squishy one I liked for cheap enough; that's what I really wanted to get, because it feels amazing when you squeeze one inside you. But the stone (I think it's either granite or quartz, not that I'm a believer in putting crystals up your vajay) one was pretty, cheap for some reason, and I enjoy the idea that we can put it out innocuously and people will probably handle it without knowing, because I'm a sick monkey.  Also some people will handle it knowingly.

I also, God help me, bought a pair of extremely cheap buttplugs with bunny rabbit tails on them.

Sveta was sufficiently amused by the ridiculousness of it all that she forgot about feeling bummed out that we were trapped indoors for a second consecutive Easter. She wanted me to try out the egg first, but I told her it was her present and she was the one who liked Easter so much so she got to be the first Easter Bunny.

Suffice it to say that she had a bit of a time handling both a bunny tail buttplug and a fairly heavy stone egg in her cooch, so there wasn't much hopping around at first. Hell, I couldn't really hop unless I held my hand over my nethers to do so. Not a practical exercise egg for most, I wouldn't say. But we had fun dropping it dripping out of us and then sticking it back up and giggling and dropping it again because we couldn't help it.

We gave up on the egg pretty quick but we did enjoy keeping the plugs in for a while, until I said something about fucking like rabbits and so I got to be the big buck bunny, pulled on a strapon and fucked my doe hard until she was begging for mercy. Then I was gentle tongue and fiddly fingers until she came, which popped the buttplug out. They're really much smaller than we're used to, but I figured it would be hard enough to work with the egg so I underestimated a little.

And then she ate whipped cream off my pussy while I came and came. That's as close as I can get to squirting, really. We don't usually stick the nozzle in, she just licks it off my lips and clit and that's more than enough.

If we're forced to spend another Easter alone, I'm thinking of investing in a wireless vibe egg. I don't really have the money, but hey, life is short.

Also, I'm sorely tempted, no matter how stupid the idea is, to shove hard boiled eggs up my cunt. Someone talk me out of it please.