So Zoe came over this weekend and dropped the bombshell that it turns out that her girlfriend didn't know that Zoe was continuing to fuck me and Sveta and found out because Zoe told her when she was breaking up with her because Zoe is still convinced that she's in love with me. See. Complicated.
When Zoe started dating this other girl, we did meet her, but apparently Zoe did not, as she had claimed, tell her about us. She told us that girlfriend was okay if Zoe went out and got some from others, and maybe that's true, but Zoe never told girlfriend that those others were exclusively me (and Sveta) and that Zoe was basically seeing girlfriend in a vain attempt to stop being in love with me.
It should be noted that I knew that Zoe had some feelings for me, but we'd discussed it and I made it clear that while I love her, I am not in love with her. I have never really tried polyamory as such. Most of my relationships have been multiple partners but each with their own degree of love/affection, and only one was the main partner. Or there has been no main partner and it's been fuck-buddies all around. I don't think you need to put labels on love, and I do think you can love multiple people at the same time, but I've never tried living with more than one of them, particularly when I was married to one (well, obviously, since Sveta's my first and hopefully only foray down the aisle).
It should also be noted that Zoe is younger than Sveta, who is already too young for me. I am not complaining about attracting nubile young things to my sphere of fuck-fluence. I really am not. But she's young and it makes me feel guilty, particularly that she's tying herself to me, an old biddy, when she should be spending her youth going out and getting new experiences.
It should also, also be noted that she has no idea about my family, and I'll be honest, I'm not sure how she'd react. She knows I fuck around. She knows that Sveta and I aren't exclusive, obviously. But she's never even really met my parents. She met them at the wedding, and that's it I think. She's never read this blog (and never will unless things change drastically) And obviously I couldn't keep a secret that big if she were to become someone I really love and care about. I couldn't.
I don't know how I managed it with Sveta. She's one of a very few people I've ever told about my family life (present company excluded, of course) and she was not only okay with it, she wanted to join in. Further sign from the universe that she's perfect for me. I don't get that from Zoe. Maybe I'm just looking for excuses.
So, needless to say, she was prepared for me to be pissed off about this. Not that she loves me (we've talked about it, as I said) but that she was lying. And I told her straight out that I wasn't happy about that, but that I couldn't make her decisions for her, and that I just wished she'd been honest with everyone so no one would get hurt.
And then she said that being honest would have meant she got hurt, which I'm not totally sure I buy, but I accept as something she believes. I don't want Zoe to get hurt either. She doesn't want Sveta to get hurt, but Sveta was just like, "Whatever, not my circus, not my monkeys." So that went better than I expected. I talked to Sveta later to make sure she didn't have a problem with it and she said that she really didn't, but if Zoe thinks Sveta's going to let her muscle in on her territory, think again. It was incredibly hot that she got possessive like that. Not going to lie.
Anyway, that's neither here nor there.
So we talked some more and I tried again to make it clear that I didn't think that Zoe and I could have a relationship like that. That she should find some nice person, girl or guy, to be with who will accept that Zoe likes to sleep around a little, maybe join in. Sveta and I would happily do some foursome swapping with Zoe's significant other. And Zoe agreed and said all the right things and pretty soon was making out with me because I'm not good under pressure and she is hot.
She whispered in my ear that she wanted to eat Sveta out while I fucked her from behind, and I told her to say it louder because Sveta needed to hear, so Zoe got all red in the face and stammered, "I, um, wanna lick you while Lexi fucks me." Sveta giggled and pulled off her bottoms and spread her legs, and I had to leave that vision of loveliness to hunt down a strapon, but you can bet I was motivated to get into it as quickly as possible.
Sveta was already well on her way by the time I got back and pulled down Zoe's panties. Her cunt was dripping, didn't even need lube on the dil, and pressed into her slowly but firmly until I was all the way in, then eased back out, all the way, teasing her a little, until she was moaning into Sveta's cumming pussy, begging me to fuck her hard. So I fucked her hard from behind. Sveta got finished and went to clean up a little, and I felt like kissing, so I rolled Zoe over and mounted her missionary, something I don't do as often as you'd like, given my predilections for that position. We were making out hard, hands on flanks, on asses, on tits, while I slowly and firmly fucked her with my strapon, feeling the base rub against my clit, getting me closer and closer
Zoe didn't announce her orgasm because we were just too into each other, but I know she came at least once before I pulled the strapon off and started tribbing, our wet pussies rubbing together. Zoe likes penetration like I do, so this isn't something we do, normally, but over the course of the Quarantimes with Sveta I've perfected my technique and I really enjoy the feeling of closeness you can get.
I was all set to cum when Zoe moaned, "Oh fuck, I love you so much! I love you I love you Lexi fuck I love you." Or words to that effect. I almost stopped dead. She's totally not over me. But I was so close and I was so hot for it that I just let it slide, muttered, "Shut up and cum baby," and planted my lips on hers to keep her from embarrassing herself further. Well, not embarrassing. I don't know. Incriminating? Whatever.
I didn't cum as hard as I thought, probably got taken out of the moment, but I came and she came and we came and I tried to just ignore what had happened. We enjoyed the afterglow wrapped up in each other. I think she enjoyed it more than I did. I don't think Sveta heard her.
And the thing is, I realized that I'd never done that with Zoe. It had basically just been Sveta for the longest time. And I felt really guilty, which was part of the reason why Sveta and I talked after Zoe went home. And we wound up fucking, because as I said it was super sexy to see Sveta get possessive, since she's usually not at all possessive. We were pressed against each other, body to body, wrapped up in each other, sort of rubbing pussies across the tops of each other's thighs, and then when she got close I moved myself so her lips were touching mine and felt the warm rush as she came, which made me cum, and it was totally different and I don't know how to tell Zoe that.
I love Zoe like a sister, which is saying something, like a kid sister who I don't want to lose. But I don't love her like Sveta. I love Sveta in a way which I didn't think I was capable of for so long. She fixed that part of me. Zoe is a great lay, and she's a nice girl, and I just love her like that. But she obviously loves me in a different way, and someone's going to get hurt because of that.
Anyway, that's the latest in news about Zoe. You may hear more from her because she's one of the few people we currently trust enough to associate with in a highly physical way. But maybe not, because it might get boring to hear the same stuff over and over again. Feel free to drop me a line and let me know what you think.
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