Friday, January 28, 2011

Flash Fiction Friday - Magic Box

He made the command word "Tumnus" because he was a cheeky fucker. "Tumnus" he'd say every night as I sat there on the bed, blanket held protectively around me like a lead apron at the dentist's. I guess I was afraid that the magic might spill out somehow.

Night after night, the wardrobe disgorged a plethora of playthings for our lust: blonde, brunette, redhead, all slim and wanton as whores, panting with longing. We used them until dawn, then ushered them, never satisfied, back into the magic box.

But one night, he said "Tumnus" in the low, seductive tone that made me quake, and the same girl, blonde and pale, was standing there as the previous evening.

"I won," she said, the first words any of them had spoken.


I wrote this exactly as it is, apart from one minor change of wording. I'm presenting it as an experiment: you can see what happens right as it happens, rather than after I've polished it. It's as close to live writing as I can get. Maybe it illuminates some of my process. All I know is that it worked out to 129 words exactly, used the phrase, and at that point I stopped.

I avoided the clichés in this one, I guess. I was a bit worried about writing it because the woman on the bed has an extremely distracting ass. I don't always go for satin panties, but those are gorgeous, and perfect for her form.

The pat response, if I were going to write more than one, would probably be that the man has come home to find his wife in bed, disrobed, disheveled, and he hears a noise from the wardrobe, opens it, expecting a man, but surprise surprise. Not much point in writing that for me, because the picture already tells that story. I like to take the exercise as something other than simply writing the picture. Not that there's anything wrong with writing the picture; it's like drawing a landscape. Me, I'm crazy and easily bored, so I only draw landscapes that aren't really there. This picture happened to be narrative already, so I wanted to subvert the narrative, I suppose. Or maybe I'm just contrary.

And now for something completely different:

When I was young, my mother read me all the Chronicles of Narnia, starting with The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe rather than in the chronological order some readers seem to fancy. They're fine books. I saw the BBC versions, which everyone criticizes as being low-rent, and enjoyed them immensely. But I avoided the more recent adaptations like the plague for various reasons.

My favorite has always been Voyage of the Dawn Treader. I love a sea story, and exploration and adventure, and I enjoy the hell out of Reepicheep. Plus it has a different feel than the books which precede it; it's all about heading to the endless East, the land of the rising sun. Yes, I know all the Judeo-Christian allegory, but I don't care; I'd like that to be heaven. It reminds me quite a bit of Gandalf's description of what comes after death in The Lord of the Rings.

And yet, while I've seen The Lord of the Rings, I haven't seen the most recent Voyage of the Dawn Treader movie. Part of that is reviews I've read, but part of it is that I don't particularly want a new experience based around that book. I've had my experience with it, and I'm happy with it. That experience didn't involve special effects or big screens, it involved a book and my mother.

I'm not making any decisions here at all; if you liked the new movies, more power to you, and I hope they continue to bring you enjoyment. I'm mostly pondering the somewhat nonsensical nature of experience. Wardrobes and Tumnus just made me think of this.

And now for something more completely different:

Flash Fiction Friday makes me a better writer. I could do it without posting it and it would be less egotistical on my part, but let's not discount the salutary effect praise has on one, although the praise should be tempered with realization that praise will only get you so far. Praise is good for motivation. Practice is good for stamina. And criticism, rough though it may be, is good for cutting away the dead wood. I think Flash Fiction Friday provides a nice balance of all three, and that's why I, as someone with a complete lack of celebrity, endorse it heartily. Flash Fiction Friday: Just Do It!

13 comments:

Dioneo said...

Wow, a magic wardrobe that teleports such playthings? I want that! It would be funny if one night he said "Tumnus" and Tumnus himself appeared for a date. ;)

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad you 'just do it'. Another enjoyable FFF read. Thanks!

Jubert said...

Nice one! Hope that you also check my blog.. I would suggest that you read my first post.. Thanks! =)

Anonymous said...

hehe magic box *giggle snorts* indeed! loved it Lexi :D

Over&Out said...

Best take on the wardrobe angle today, Lexi.

Sadly, I've said "Tumnus" aloud at least dozen times in the last few minutes. Nothing. No magic for me.

Max said...

I love it! I'm also wondering where one gets such a magic box.... :-)

Cheers,
Max

Naughty Lexi said...

@Dioneo: Fauns are supposed to be randy mofos, so maybe there'd be no complaints. And if you find the shop that sells magic wardrobes, you're duty-bound to tell me where the hell it is ;)

@TemptingSweets: Just keeping myself on my toes. Next week, maybe I'll do a first draft and then edit and post that too. It's not all about sex, is it? Okay, so mostly ;)

@Jubert: When I get the chance.

@Sephi: I can has dubble entendre?

@Oversexed Librarian: Why thank you, kind sir :) Try saying "Ia Ia Cthulhu!" three times in front of your wardrobe; sometimes that works ;)

@Max: You, me, and everyone else, Max ;)

Anonymous said...

That's the kind of magic that makes all else pale. David Copperfield try that one! It also begs the question of what kind of game is being played on the 'inside' of the box. :) Would love to see that story.

Naughty Lexi said...

@wordwytch: I think David tried that once and it got him into trouble ;) I myself am slightly curious what was going on inside the wardrobe. Perhaps PB will post a picture next week that lends itself to a sequel.

David said...

Lovely take lexi, I used to always imagine the idea of a magic pocket, whenever you reached into it a twenty dollar bill appeared. You take on the idea is much much better. Very good!

Naughty Lexi said...

@David: Sadly, most days I'd take the $20. If I were rich and lonely I'd probably go the other way (or maybe not; rich people seem to always want more) but as I'm poor and only somewhat lonely, $20 whenever I needed it would trump considerations of the flesh. With magic money, I could afford to be more romantic; with random sexy wardrobe women (and that's a great name for a band) I'd get into a rut eventually I imagine.

Dee said...

Okay. that was just awesome! I'm with Dioneo though, as I'd quite like Tumnus myself :)

xx Dee

Naughty Lexi said...

@Dee: Oh, Tumnus would not be kicked back into the wardrobe, believe me. I find the shaggy legs very sexy, if I might confess a deep dark secret.