Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Everything/Nothing

Suppose we take the proposition that a lack of sleep leads to a lack of energy.  And suppose that a lack of energy leads to a further lack of interest in anything fun.  And suppose that sex is included in those things which are fun.  And suppose that a lack of interest in sex implies a lack of sex itself.  And suppose further that both a lack of interest in sex, a lack of energy, and a lack of having sex lead to a lack of blogging.  Thus:

! sleep -> ! energy

! energy -> ! interest(fun)

sex ∈ fun

! interest(fun) -> ! interest(sex)

! interest(sex) -> ! sex

! interest(sex) && ! energy && ! sex -> ! blogging

Thus:

! sleep -> ! blogging

Lexi hasn't been sleeping, thus Lexi has nothing to blog about.  QED.

There, now you know symbolic logic.

I haven't been sleeping well, my mood is poor, most of my sexual opportunities are limited by location and energy, and basically if I were to blog right now, it would be both poorly-written and boring (viz the preceding and forthcoming words).  Basically, all I have the energy for is to watch sitcoms and desultorily masturbate.  Seriously, I've been wetting the wanton weasel (which really works better for boys, but I'm going to use it anyway and laugh, haha) extremely perfunctorily; I just want to get off and go back to not having to exert much effort at all.

I could excuse all this by saying that I'm in a moment of down-time and I'm just decompressing, except I'd rather decompress more effectively.  It's not making me feel any better.  And I like to sleep more, rather than less, when I can sleep in.  Starting very, very soon, I shall be hip-deep in shit again, and I really wish I could get my body to cooperate and let me have a decent night's rest for a few days.

I also cannot blame feminine issues.  Basically, I'm just suffering from the fnahfnahs.  I'm almost glad no one is around to see it, but on the other hand, I can't help but think that if certain people were here, I wouldn't be suffering from them.  One never knows.  My god would I like to go back to bed right now.

7 comments:

Max said...

You have my permission to go back to bed. There, that's settled. ;-)

Anonymous said...

I feel for you. I have been overly tired and underly sexed. It's not by lack of desire, just lack of energy. When I get tired and horny, I jack off more. When I jack off more I have trouble cumming and I go longer...way longer. This makes me stay up later and I get less sleep. When I get less sleep I don't work out. When I don't work out I can't sleep.

I don't know how to put that into your symbolic logic, or if it even follows any logical progression.

I think I will order more Ambian and break this cycle.

I hope your exploits improve, you make me horny reading your blog.

Naughty Lexi said...

@Max: I would so totally go back to bed if I didn't know that I'd only be up again in a few hours, if I could sleep at all. Whine whine whine, that's me. But thanks for permission :)

@Kenny: Yours sounds like less of a logical progression and more like a downward spiral. I suppose there's elements of that in mine as well. I hope my exploits improve too, and not just because I want to have them; I do genuinely like telling everyone else about them too.

Anonymous said...

Hope you're able to get some sleep and all the good things follow as a result. Love the limericks below, btw.

Anonymous said...

Have you tried warm milk? Apparently, the heating of milk releases magnesium, a natural sedative. If that doesn't work, a couple of Benedryls knock my ass out pretty good when I'm insomniating to the point of frustration. Best of luck to you, dear, in your quest for rest.

- Papa Bear

Dioneo said...

But Lexi, you're missing the key step:

follow(sex) -> sleep

Or wait, maybe that's only man logic.

Naughty Lexi said...

@Dioneo: Teehee :) Sadly, that logic just leads to the death-spiral: !sex -> ! follow(sex); ! follow(sex) -> ! sleep; thus !sleep -> ! sex -> ! sleep; ! sleep -> ! sleep, tautology.

@TemptingSweets: Me too, me too.

@Papa Bear: Ew, warm milk, blech :P Maybe I should try hot cocoa. Still, I've never found a sleep aid which works consistently or well for me. My system laughs at Benadryl.