I thought I'd take a moment out of my busy schedule of decompressing to clarify comments that I made regarding simulated sex and its actual appeal. I was tired/drunk. Maybe I can be a bit more clear now. No, I am not doing this because someone complained. You're all great. I'm doing this because I'm in a tireless hunt for perfection, and I complained. Also because it helps to gradually zero in on a position.
Sometimes, sex on stage is really sex on stage. Very, very seldom. Incredibly seldom. If I hadn't been there, I wouldn't have believed it. But most of the time, sex on stage (or even foreplay on stage) isn't sexy at all. It can't be. You have to pay attention to lines and cues and blocking and so on, and there's never any actual coitus going on anyway. I've done various things on stage which, if they were real, would have been sexy as hell to me, but because they were just acting, they were mechanical. I think even most Method actors who believe in living their parts would agree that sex on stage isn't sex. It's like sex in porn. It's for the audience. If you're performing, you do things differently.
But sometimes things happen. I once had a love scene, not a sex scene but some heavy action, with a guy who was gayer than a Fire Island hooker. We were not into each other at all. If he'd been straight, we wouldn't have been interested in one another. But every night, his cock would get hard as a rock during the scene. The second time it happened, he apologized profusely, because he was a good actor and a good egg who wasn't interested in making things awkward. I knew he was gay, he was not closeted at all about it. For whatever reason, his body was betraying his mind. Similarly, I've been a bit dewy during certain scenes for no particular reason. The sex was still totally fake though.
However, despite the on-stage sex being fake and the two actors being actors and not people in love or lust, sometimes doing things onstage with someone makes an actor get the hots for them offstage. It can be normal or it can be creepy depending on various factors. I'm sorry to say that in my experience, it tends to be guys becoming smitten with gals, but that's not always the case. It's like any other crush, usually. You can sometimes sense it, but many times no one acts on it.
When people do act on it, it can be unpleasant. For one, if the feelings are in no way reciprocal and the object of affection isn't even interested at all, then all the unpleasant unrequited love stuff can happen, plus it can make the onstage stuff incredibly awkward. Either the affected (shorthand for the actor who has the crush) tries to make the onstage things more real, or becomes incredibly mechanical, and either way it's not good news.
Then of course, as in our present case, we have a crush which progresses to physical affection (i.e. they get it on in real life) which is common enough, and doesn't really require any onstage romance at all. Show romances are incredibly common. Theatre people are kinda slutty, I'm afraid. And all show romances carry the threat of awkwardness. But a show romance which mirrors an onstage romance has the potential to be really awkward, particularly if things don't go well offstage.
Last night, things didn't go all that well offstage. Pretty much everyone in the cast and crew knew that something had gone on between Simon and Andie, and Andie was obviously totally mortified that she'd done it. She definitely couldn't look me in the eye, not that I spent a lot of time trying to catch her gaze. I gather that after I went home, they fucked at least once more, possibly sans condom. But whatever the case may be, it was bad enough that she'd done it with him, but with me involved, I think she just wanted to crawl into a hole and die.
They're both decent actors, so it didn't affect their performances much, but they didn't speak at all backstage and if you knew, you could see the awkwardness onstage too. I knew, so I saw it stick out like a sore thumb.
And then, lo and behold, after the show, off they went together to his place. Weird. But not that uncommon. I didn't press on them; maybe before the run is over they'll have me in. Obviously, the show romance blossomed. I felt okay about that because it meant that hopefully the initial awkwardness was over, but bad because while I'm coming down from stress-horny, I still wouldn't sneeze at another threesome. Instead, I got to go home alone, wake Sveta up even though I shouldn't have, and talk with her too long, keeping us both up, although she only missed lunch, I had a matinee the next day.
We tried a little phone sex, but it wasn't happening. She sent me a picture from her phone I'm not going to share, but rest assured that she's beautiful even when she's tired. That helped. We wound up with her listening while I masturbated, which isn't really phone sex but worked out okay. We may try it again. I'm not changing my stance on phone sex, but it's something we can do. Her roomie wasn't there, thank God, but Sveta didn't know when she'd be back, so there could be no fun on Sveta's end. I felt like a tool, but she said she liked it even if she couldn't actively participate. I told her that she had, repeat had, to find a lover with a single, even if that lover was just someone who would let Sveta come over and masturbate in his or her room. She giggled at that, but I'm serious. She needs to find some college booty, of either sex. She'll regret it if she doesn't. Maybe I need to visit her and help her out, be her wingman, something. Or she's got to get a new roomie, one who's never there, or who wants to join in, or who has a cute boyfriend and is interested in sharing. Something. My poor baby is dying from lack of attention.
Anyway, I couldn't sleep, woke up early enough to get a send-off fuck from the old man (who was anything but old this morning, let me tell you; I was dying of sleep deprivation and he was a spring chicken). Didn't expect anything to happen, and I was mostly right. I did talk with Simon, who said that things were going better between the two of them, which showed. Still, she isn't talking to me. Maybe she's jealous. She should be, because I gave Simon some speedy intermission head. Not something I often do, but it's a smallish cast and we had a place to ourselves and nothing to do for ten minutes. I don't like being the other woman, but in this case, I'm not really. It's a fucking show romance. It's just a fling. Plus, I want to get with her too, so I'm cool.
But no love for Lexi. Managed to surreptitiously rub a small O out during a quiet moment, but I could have really gone for some cock. Still, I didn't press my luck in the theatre, and Simon and Andie left shortly after the play, probably to go back to his place. Ah well. I can't really believe I lost out to her. Maybe I haven't. Maybe I was too aggressive, and he prefers submissive. If he'd caught me any other week, he would have gotten much more of that, but this week, the beast has been in heat.
Came home, had after-dinner sex with Dad, and now I'm writing this because despite my exhaustion I can't fall asleep. Hope it wasn't too boring.
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