TMI Too Late

It's Wednesday now, or thereabouts, so I'm late, but I don't care. I tracked down what I believe to be the origin of this particular series of questions, but Max and Lola were where I saw it first, and I thought, what the hell, I've answered strange questions for less. I'm not really playing, just stealing; maybe next week I'll play and not lurk. Who knows. There's a limit to the amount of rounds-making I can do.

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?

I have no idea. I don't look in the mirror that often. I know, it seems odd, but I don't. Probably, "Jesus, what the hell is wrong with me?" or possible, "Damn, still not the fairest of them all." Okay, kidding. Seriously, probably, "Mgmfbgm." Or, "Blargle." It would have been in the morning.

2. If you could take a class for fun right now, what would you take?

Russian. I am trying to learn the language, but a class might help. Of course, I just don't have the time to learn it whether in class or not, and my memorization has suffered recently. It's a beautiful language, and I currently speak just enough to inform people that I speak very poorly and they should probably treat me like an idiot child. That's something, I guess.

3. What did the last text message you received on your mobile/cell phone say?

Done this one before. I do not text, for I have no way of so doing.

4. What was the last song you listened to?

No idea. Something on the radio of which I don't know the name or the artist. Obviously it didn't stick with me.

5. What was the last song you sang or hummed (cuz it's stuck in your head)?

The last song I sang was an old spiritual because that's how weird I am; I wander around work singing spirituals. In my head, I currently have a really tedious Green Day song about knowing your enemy on continuous loop. I don't know where it came from, and I hope it goes back there sharpish. Ooh, it's the all-Green-Day medley now: I wanna be a minority and know my enemy on holiday from the boulevard of broken dreams, and I'm hitching a ride to paradise. How alarming is it that I was able to spit out that series of things without really even thinking about it. I don't even like Green Day.

6. First thing you wash in the shower?

I generally begin with my hair so the shampoo has as long as possible to stay in. Sometimes I even leave off rinsing it out until after I've shaved. The longer the better.

7. When was the last time you masturbated in the shower?

Not this morning, but recently. It depends on the amount of time I have. I like fingering myself in the warmth when my morning hasn't gotten off to a good start, but that's usually when I don't have the time to do it. I don't usually spend a whole lot of time on it, but a quickie O is still an O. It gets the blood flowing. That's, of course, when I don't have someone with whom to shower.

8. What color is your couch?

We have several. They're all patterned. No leather; leather sticks to skin. I don't care how often I hear it; I never believe people when they say they enjoyed fucking on a leather couch. Sticky leather combined with warm bodies... yuck. We put things over the upholstery anyway because we don't want to damage it.

9. Have you had sex on your couch?

As if the previous answer didn't let on, yes, all the damn time. We have to clean our throws regularly.