Early

I didn't get much sleep last night, not for any reason other than the usual insomnia. Had to wake up to do some things, and now my brain is trying to convince me that it would be a delightful idea, not a bad idea at all, to just lie down for a minute, close my eyes, not sleep, just maybe give my brain a little rest, just a little, no big deal. I hope I'm accurately conveying my internal monologue.

Thing is, even if it were a good idea normally (which it wouldn't be because then I'd fall asleep and wake up and not be able to get back to sleep tonight, totally fucking my schedule into a cocked hat) it is impossible not because Sveta just called and said that she got out of her Friday class and she wants me to pick her up today instead of showing up tomorrow. Apparently she can't get here today unless I pick her up. I don't understand public transportation, but there it is.

So of course I'm going to pick her up. I mean, why would I say no, other than that I feel like I'm going to drive off the road and kill innocent people? That's no obstacle to love. But as tired as I am, I doubt I'm going to be very nice company. I warned her of this, and, sweet thing, she said she didn't mind, that she was probably going to be beat too. So we'll both be beat together.

But still, extra time tomorrow, which is great. And we're still partying on Saturday. And really, all I'm complaining about is that my brain hates me right now. Seriously, my brain wants me to die. It cannot stand my continued consciousness. All it wants is to curl up into a little ball and be warm and cozy, and instead I'm dragging it out into the cruel world. But I imagine it will forgive me once the endorphins hit.

And now I'm sitting here, killing time, trying to stay awake for a little while longer so I can get in my car soon and drive. Got music. Had lunch. Wondering whether I should chance some coffee this late in the day. If I start falling asleep at the wheel, I will. Not that this is the most tired I've ever been by a long stretch. I remember driving to work with my eyes closed a number of times. Seriously, I'm pretty sure I navigated by muscle memory alone, and it's a serious wonder to me that I didn't crash and kill myself. So this will not be like that. I'm just a little groggy right now. I'll perk up.

Shut up, brain.